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Favorite lines from a Christmas Movie!

acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
edited December 2012 in All Encompassing Trip
The Shitter was full! Merry Christmas!
(Christmas Vaca)

If you TOUCH me again, I am gonna punch yuo in the god damn face.
(Scrooge)

I can't get these little antlers on this mouse?
Did you try Staples?
(Scrooge)
Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
Sweep the Leg Johnny.
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Comments

  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Christmas Vacation

    Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • even flow?even flow? Posts: 8,066
    You'll shoot your eye out!
    You've changed your place in this world!
  • orig_long redorig_long red Posts: 2,029
    "Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense."
    -A Christmas Story
    Jam out with your clam out.
  • mammasanmammasan Posts: 5,656
    Christmas Vacation

    Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.
    Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.
    Clark: How'd you get through it?
    Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • mammasanmammasan Posts: 5,656
    A Christmas Story

    Ralphie: Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    Boy: Santa doesn't drink champagne. Santa only drinks milk.
    George: [quietly] Listen. Santa can't drink no more milk. Santa has a lactose intolerance, and it gives him horrible gas pains. Do you want to see Santa farting down everybody's chimney?
  • mookie9999mookie9999 Posts: 4,677
    Elf:

    This place reminds me of Santa's workshop. Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.
    "The leads are weak!"

    "The leads are weak? Fuckin' leads are weak? You're Weak! I've Been in this business 15 years"

    "What's your name?"

    "FUCK YOU! THAT"S MY NAME!"
  • even flow?even flow? Posts: 8,066
    You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
    You really are a heel.
    You're as cuddly as a cactus,
    You're as charming as an eel.
    Mr. Grinch.

    You're a bad banana
    With a greasy black peel.

    You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
    Your heart's an empty hole.
    Your brain is full of spiders,
    You've got garlic in your soul.
    Mr. Grinch.

    I wouldn't touch you, with a
    thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.



    You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
    You have termites in your smile.
    You have all the tender sweetness
    Of a seasick crocodile.
    Mr. Grinch.

    Given the choice between the two of you
    I'd take the seasick crocodile.



    You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
    You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
    Your heart is full of unwashed socks
    Your soul is full of gunk.
    Mr. Grinch.

    The three words that best describe you,
    are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."



    You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
    You're the king of sinful sots.
    Your heart's a dead tomato splot
    With moldy purple spots,
    Mr. Grinch.

    Your soul is an apalling dump heap
    overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment
    of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
    Mangled up in tangled up knots.

    You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
    With a nauseaus super-naus.
    You're a crooked jerky jockey
    And you drive a crooked horse.
    Mr. Grinch.

    You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich
    With arsenic sauce.
    You've changed your place in this world!
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    a couple more from the ref....:D

    "I'm sorry but I have had it! I have never heard of such a Christmas! Sex... and drugs... an-an-and women being set on fire!"

    "The spirit of Christmas is either you're good or you're punished and you burn in hell."
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,884
    bah humbug..............
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    'I'm gonna give you to the count of 10... to get your ugly, yella, no good keister off my property.. before I pump your guts full'a led.... 1..... 2..... 10...... AHA HA HA HA AHA AH HA HA H HAAAA HAHAAAA....


























    ....and keep the change, you filthy animal.'
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • anothercloneanotherclone Posts: 1,688
    My favorite line isn't so much the words, but..in Elf when Buddy chugs that whole liter of pop, BELCHES and then says:

    "did ya hear that?"

    I use that one all year round.

    And when he meets the fake Santa and says:

    "you sit on a throne of lies"
  • mammasanmammasan Posts: 5,656
    Elf

    Buddy to Jovie:I think you're really beautiful and I feel really warm when I'm around you and my tongue swells up.

    Buddy to the fake Santa: You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • lalalalaaaaaaaalalalalaaaaaaaa Posts: 2,445
    anotherclone wrote:
    My favorite line isn't so much the words, but..in Elf when Buddy chugs that whole liter of pop, BELCHES and then says:

    "did ya hear that?"

    I use that one all year round.

    And when he meets the fake Santa and says:

    "you sit on a throne of lies"
    definitely...lots of good ones from Elf.

    *ring ring*

    "Hi, this is Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color..."
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    scrooged:

    "the bitch hit me with a toaster!" :D
  • daystar143daystar143 Posts: 367
    Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!
    Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
    Mr. Parker: [stunned] *What* did you say?
    Ralphie: Uh, um...
    Mr. Parker: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
    Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.
    The Daystar

    "But --you say that Dreams have no power here? Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar...Ask yourselves, all of you...What power would hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to Dream of Heaven?" Dream speaking to Lucifer as written by Neil Gaiman.
  • stu geestu gee Posts: 1,174
    Yippee ki yay motherfucker.
    People say im paranoid. Well, they dont say it, but i know that's what they are thinking.
  • drtyfrnk29drtyfrnk29 Posts: 846
    From Bad Santa

    Kid: Your beard's not real.
    Willie: No Shit!It was real, but I got sick and all the hair fell out.
    Kid: How come?
    Willie: I loved a woman who wasn't clean.
    Kid: Mrs. Santa?
    Willie: No it was her sister.
    I'm so dangerous I smoke dynamite.

  • anothercloneanotherclone Posts: 1,688
    stu gee wrote:
    Yippee ki yay motherfucker.

    Nothing says "Christmas" like...:D
  • daystar143daystar143 Posts: 367
    Both from "It's a Wonderful Life"

    Anne: It's money I've been saving for a divorce...if I ever get married.

    and


    Clarence: Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.
    The Daystar

    "But --you say that Dreams have no power here? Tell me, Lucifer Morningstar...Ask yourselves, all of you...What power would hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to Dream of Heaven?" Dream speaking to Lucifer as written by Neil Gaiman.
  • stu geestu gee Posts: 1,174
    anotherclone wrote:
    Nothing says "Christmas" like...:D

    Yep, captures the spirit of christmas completely. lol
    People say im paranoid. Well, they dont say it, but i know that's what they are thinking.
  • acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    anotherclone wrote:
    My favorite line isn't so much the words, but..in Elf when Buddy chugs that whole liter of pop, BELCHES and then says:

    "did ya hear that?"

    I use that one all year round.

    And when he meets the fake Santa and says:

    "you sit on a throne of lies"


    LMAO!
    hahahaha
    Love that one!

    The tone in his voice is so funny.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    Elf
    I love smiles, smiles my favorite!
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • Hitch-HikerHitch-Hiker Posts: 2,873
    stu gee wrote:
    Yippee ki yay motherfucker.
    Dammit! You got there before me.

    So I will add: "Now I have a machine gun...ho..ho..ho"
    I'll Ride The Wave Where It Takes Me
  • Pearls&StonesPearls&Stones Posts: 585
    A Christmas Story:


    Deck the harrs wif barrs of horry
    fa ra ra ra ra ra. ra ra ra ra
    Tis the season to be jorry
    fa ra ra ra ra ra. ra ra ra ra
    I love my female wife...
    we sit around and wonder exactly why our marriage should feel threatened by gay marriage
  • emily18emily18 Posts: 489
    christmas vacation:

    "i have to sleep with my brother, do you know how sick that is?"
    "well honey i have to sleep with your father"
  • orig_long redorig_long red Posts: 2,029
    "What do you want Mary? Do ya want the moon?"
    -It's a Wonderful Life
    Jam out with your clam out.
  • HartydogHartydog Posts: 2,060
    From Christmas Vacation:

    "We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."
    Boston 9-28-04, 5-24-06, 5-25-06, 5-17-10, 8-5-16, 8-7-16, 9-2-18, 9-4-18
    Ft Worth 9-15-23
    Hartford 5-13-06, 6-27-08, 10-25-13
    Mansfield, MA 6-30-08, 6-28-08, 7-2-03, 7-3-03, 7-11-03, 8-29-00, 8-30-00, 9-15-98, 9-16-98
    Worcester 10-15-13, 10-16-13
  • vedderfan10vedderfan10 Posts: 2,497
    I'm just a cotton-heady ninny muggins!
    be philanthropic
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEZWtohobaE

    'it's a bit nipply out'
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