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Divorce for Dummies

SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,579
edited January 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
How does one get divorced from an "absentee" husband? That is: one you can't reach to serve papers to, with unknown whereabouts?
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    rearviewmirorrearviewmiror Posts: 894
    There should be a default length of time that it goes through if he is unreachable. (6 months or a year)

    File him as dead, that'll make him resurface.
    9/7/98, 8/3/00, 9/4/00, 4/15/03, 7/1/03, 9/28/04, 9/29/04, 5/24/06, 5/25/06, 6/17/08, 6/22/08, 6/28/08, 6/30/08, 5/17/10, 10/15/13, 10/16/13.
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    edvedder913edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    tish wrote:
    How does one get divorced from an "absentee" husband? That is: one you can't reach to serve papers to, with unknown whereabouts?


    it depends on the state you live in I suppose.

    Your cause would obviously be abandonement. I would assume you may be able to do it yourself w/o a signature, but you'd have to consult a lawyer.

    If children are involved, it would be more complicated.
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    BridgeBitchBridgeBitch Posts: 87
    It does depend on your state. I would check the website for your county courthouse and they should have information.

    Usually you have to file paperwork with the court stating there is not known contact information and then wait a period of time before you can file.
    "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

    10/21/06 & 10/22/06 (Bridge Shows)
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    SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,579
    I'm a Canadian. I appreciate the help.
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    BridgeBitchBridgeBitch Posts: 87
    I just did my divorce myself and it wasn't that hard. But there were no children involved. If you have children I'd get a lawyer.

    My county courthouse had people you could meet with the discuss your divorce papers and while they couldn't give legal advice they would check to make sure all your papers were in order. They might have something similar in Canada.
    "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

    10/21/06 & 10/22/06 (Bridge Shows)
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    SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,579
    No kids, but I had a preup. Big $.
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    SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,579
    BridgeBitch wrote:
    I just did my divorce myself and it wasn't that hard. But there were no children involved. If you have children I'd get a lawyer.

    My county courthouse had people you could meet with the discuss your divorce papers and while they couldn't give legal advice they would check to make sure all your papers were in order. They might have something similar in Canada.

    What was your first step after making the decision?
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    edvedder913edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    tish wrote:
    No kids, but I had a preup. Big $.


    You seriously need to get a lawyer. and perhaps hire a PI to find the guy. How long ago did he disappear?
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    surferdudesurferdude Posts: 2,057
    If there's pre-nup dollars involved I'd get a real lawyer. I did my divorce on my own. I phoned my local university and found that their law students had a weekly free session wher ethey can give advise.
    “One good thing about music,
    when it hits you, you feel to pain.
    So brutalize me with music.”
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    SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,579
    The marital contract has been outstanding for many years. I sure would love to wrap up this old business and gain closure.
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    edvedder913edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    tish wrote:
    The marital contract has been outstanding for many years. I sure would love to wrap up this old business and gain closure.


    are you sure he is alive?
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    eyedclaareyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    tish wrote:
    No kids, but I had a preup. Big $.

    What I'm hearing is that you are available and possibly in line to get a big cash settlement? I don't think we've been formally introduced...
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    madjackmadjack Posts: 213
    I tell ya, only one thing that was worst in my life than divorce, that was getting married in the first place.
    Come on and play on the edge of life with me. Its fun and I love every minute of it!!!
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    SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,579
    I'm with you on that. It's been the biggest pain-in-the-ass of my life.

    "First comes love and then comes pain." LBC. So true.
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    BridgeBitchBridgeBitch Posts: 87
    tish wrote:
    What was your first step after making the decision?

    I researched all the paperwork I would need and got it filled out. But since you have a prenup that involves money I would see a lawyer. Is it you who sill gain money or him?
    "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

    10/21/06 & 10/22/06 (Bridge Shows)
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    Get_RightGet_Right Posts: 12,479
    edvedder913 wrote:
    You seriously need to get a lawyer. and perhaps hire a PI to find the guy. How long ago did he disappear?

    This is good advice. Even in the states its tough to get a divorce in absentia.

    Get a good lawyer, find his assets, then find his ass!!!
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    SpunkieSpunkie I come from downtown. Posts: 5,579
    BridgeBitch wrote:
    I researched all the paperwork I would need and got it filled out. But since you have a prenup that involves money I would see a lawyer. Is it you who sill gain money or him?

    The prenup was keep what we started with and split equally what we earn during the marriage. He has had a spectacular career, although I signed a few contracts to bring my end up a bit. I would stand to gain financially, although it is the freedom and peace of mind that motivates me.

    Nearly five years ago, he served me with divorce papers and a respectable/fair offer, but "stupid me" didn't seize the opportunity. Maybe he'll throw another offer at me.

    What sort of paperwork would I bring to the lawyer?
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    PJPixiePJPixie Posts: 3,026
    tish wrote:
    The prenup was keep what we started with and split equally what we earn during the marriage. He has had a spectacular career, although I signed a few contracts to bring my end up a bit. I would stand to gain financially, although it is the freedom and peace of mind that motivates me.

    Nearly five years ago, he served me with divorce papers and a respectable/fair offer, but "stupid me" didn't seize the opportunity. Maybe he'll throw another offer at me.

    What sort of paperwork would I bring to the lawyer?


    I wish you luck in this. It may be a huge headache right now but once it's all said and done you'll feel so much better........even if you don't get any money, I'm sure closure will give you "PEACE" of mind.
    The best use of Life is Love.
    The best expression of Love is Time.
    The best time to Love is Now.


    I'm never as good as when you're there.........
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    prismprism Posts: 2,440
    tish wrote:
    The prenup was keep what we started with and split equally what we earn during the marriage. He has had a spectacular career, although I signed a few contracts to bring my end up a bit. I would stand to gain financially, although it is the freedom and peace of mind that motivates me.

    Nearly five years ago, he served me with divorce papers and a respectable/fair offer, but "stupid me" didn't seize the opportunity. Maybe he'll throw another offer at me.

    What sort of paperwork would I bring to the lawyer?

    simple common sense would tell you to bring:

    the pre-nup
    the marriage license
    those divorce papers you were served with five years ago
    copies of any receipts/titles/deeds to jointly owned property, cars or other personal property

    I'd start with those and when you call to make the appointment with the lawyer ask what if any other papers you should bring with you
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