Abortion

Urban Hiker

I had an abortion as a teen, no regrets besides being dumb enough not to take the proper precautions and getting pregnant in the first place. The abortion itself was a huge relief.

_

Regarding the IUD conversation: I used to think they were creepy until I started working in the women’s health field, and I now I think they’re the best birth control option available. Most of the female docs I know have them (the ones using birth control, anyway). Turns out, their efficacy is right up there with sterilization. Of course, there are risks and side effects with anything, but the risks associated with IUDs pale in comparison to the risks associated with pregnancy, so it seems worth it. Also, although clinical guidelines previously suggested that women who have never had children or are not in monogamous relationships shouldn’t get IUDs, the newest evidence-based recommendations for IUD use include a much broader definition of eligibility. The problem is just that many doctors don’t know this yet.

That said, I’m really sorry about your experience, Jeanie. I’ve never heard of the Mirena causing hair loss, but you never know. I’m sure you know what you’re talking about. I’ve had really bad side effects from medications that supposedly didn’t cause such side effects. Your experience concerns me, though, because I just got my sister a Mirena – and her hair is like 4-5 feet long. It would be horrible if she lost it; it would take forever to grow back!

Brain of J.Lo – good luck on your search to find the contraceptive method that’s right for you! It can definitely be a difficult journey. (I wish more people understood just how difficult it can be so maybe they’d stop with the attitude that all women who have unintentional pregnancies are just irresponsible.)

Regarding the original question about abortion: I’ll step up – I had an abortion when I was a teenager. Unfortunately, I was young and confused and pressured into it by adult relatives. But I still wouldn’t say I regret it. Regret is such a strong word. I still wonder what it would be like if I had continued the pregnancy. And I’ll never be 100% sure it was the “right” decision. But there are some decisions in life we’ll never be 100% sure about, and we just have to do the best we can. It has certainly broadened my world view, but it certainly hasn’t scarred me psychologically.

As I said in another thread recently, more than 1/3 of women in the U.S. will have an abortion at some point in their lives, and I wish more of them knew that and didn’t feel so isolated. I hope that someday more of us will feel comfortable talking about our experiences and perhaps it will become less of a stigma.

I’m really sorry for the lengthy post. **Jumping off soap box.**

Jeanie

scb wrote:

...That said, I’m really sorry about your experience, Jeanie. I’ve never heard of the Mirena causing hair loss, but you never know. I’m sure you know what you’re talking about. I’ve had really bad side effects from medications that supposedly didn’t cause such side effects. Your experience concerns me, though, because I just got my sister a Mirena – and her hair is like 4-5 feet long. It would be horrible if she lost it; it would take forever to grow back!...

Well we did go over all my medications and none of them seemed to be the culprit and I'm still on all the others and my hair is no longer falling out. It did take me a while to notice it was happening, but once I did I started trying to pinpoint when it had started and it all came down to when the IUD went in. And I started investigating from there. I did say to my doctor that I was prepared that it wasn't the IUD but once she spoke to her friend the specialist he was right onto it. Knew all about it. SO I'd say that it may not be a problem for enough women yet that it's been investigated and added to the product information but certainly it does appear to be happen for some. These things do take time I guess. AND it may not happen to all women. We do all react so differently to medications. Your sister might be fine. I guess I'm not panning the thing, just saying that my experience of it wasn't optimal. Anyway, as soon as I had it removed, within the first week there was much less hair coming away in my hands in the shower and considerably less on the hair brush after brushing and a whole lot less on my clothes and around the place in general. I suppose it sounds bad, but there was no way I was letting the damn thing stay in and lose all my hair. It was noticable enough to me that I started asking questions but probably not so much to others. I'm glad it's out, but if it hadn't caused that reaction for me, I think I'd have been happy enough for it to stay in. Like everything you have to weigh it up, try it out and see if it's suitable I guess. I guess if your sister is aware of it, she can keep an eye on how her body reacts with that in mind. **steps off soapbox too**

deadnote

"lets all fight for the life of the child"kls

we are all gods children

xscorcho

i have a friend who was conceived while her mom was using an IUD.... besides sex ed.. this is the only time ive heard of an IUD being used.

wavescamecrashing

I was going to have an abortion once upon a time. I had the scan, was booked in, but miscarried before the appointment.

It was absolutely hideous. The fear about being pregnant when you dont want to be, the trauma of acting against what your hormones and heart are telling you in order to act in you and your partners best interests is something i wouldnt wish on anyone. And fyi, we were being careful, but condoms break (omly using them coz i was on antibiotics and knew the pill wouldnt work for a while)

sometimes i think that i could be the mother of an eighteen month old now. I find it tricky when i see other peoples babies, and went through a grieving period, regardless of the decision i had to take...there are no easy answers with abortion and unwanted pregnancies.

the stupid thing is, i want a baby more than anything else in the world, but only when i know i can provide for him or her.

Spunkie

Thanks for your responses. I appreciated hearing the information on one third of women having an abortion. I also appreciated hearing about the grief/loss/acceptance cycle.

I too want a baby more than anything in the world, but not to fill a void. I want to give a child the best opportunities, and for me that starts with a loving, two parent family.

I often think of U2's, "I'll give you anything that you want, except the thing that you want", to pertain to wanting a child in a sero-divergent relationship, with one partner being unable to procreate. I'm so fortunate to have the health and therefore opportunity today. Now I just need some love!