Love Ability

Spunkie

Can one love another when one doesn't love oneself?

FinsburyParkCarrots

Oprah says no. So, er, I guess the answer is no.

Spunkie

Then, if I value myself, but my bf has depression and can't love himself or me, I should dump him?

Do I hold out for love, and not just a safe/good sex partner?

Quick, who's got a magic 8 ball?

eyedclaar

tish wrote:

Can one love another when one doesn't love oneself?

No, but you can still stalk the shit out of them...

The Champ

tish wrote:

Then, if I value myself, but my bf has depression and can't love himself or me, I should dump him?

Do I hold out for love, and not just a safe/good sex partner?

Quick, who's got a magic 8 ball?

I don't know, perhaps try banging the neighbor and see how that works out ..

Jeanie

tish wrote:

Then, if I value myself, but my bf has depression and can't love himself or me, I should dump him?

Do I hold out for love, and not just a safe/good sex partner?

Quick, who's got a magic 8 ball?

Would you love him still if he had cancer or a broken leg or any other illness?

Depression is an illness. Unfortunately you are most likely confronted with the symptoms of his illness on a daily basis. He is not his symptoms though.

You have to decide if there is enough feeling there for you to continue or not. Do you love him enough to help him? Tough choice. Good luck with it.

AmentsChick

Yes, I think absolutely you can love someone without "loving yourself". I've never spent time thinking about how much I "love myself" the way I think about those that I do love.

Spunkie

Maybe, while you were banned, you didn't read that five months ago, I was pleased with myself for simply befriending the neighbor. Turns out I didn't even like him. In fact, he was quite creepy and left things/candles/notes taped to my door. Now my mat is missing...

I chose to commit to my current bf, and now I am questioning that decision.

josevolution

loving oneself is selfish ,love was meant to be giving ..

but rather have respect for yourself ......

prism

AmentsChick wrote:

Yes, I think absolutely you can love someone without "loving yourself". I've never spent time thinking about how much I "love myself" the way I think about those that I do love.

exactly

AmentsChick

prism wrote:

exactly

WHEW! Glad someone agreed...I was afraid I'd be attacked for my opinion on this topic.

The Champ

tish wrote:

Maybe, while you were banned, you didn't read that five months ago, I was pleased with myself for simply befriending the neighbor. Turns out I didn't even like him. In fact, he was quite creepy and left things/candles/notes taped to my door. Now my mat is missing...

I chose to commit to my current bf, and now I am questioning that decision.

Are you talking to me because there are a few people in this thread who have also been banned? Anyway, sorry but I don't really have anything constructive to add to this discussion as I don't know the answer, but good luck..:)

prism

AmentsChick wrote:

WHEW! Glad someone agreed...I was afraid I'd be attacked for my opinion on this topic.

yeah it's not to say that I dislike myself at all (i'm pretty fucking awesome) just that I choose to place priority on thinking about those that I love

The Champ

prism wrote:

yeah it's not to say that I dislike myself at all (i'm pretty fucking awesome)

And give good..well I mean make great cookies ..

Spunkie

Thanks guys. I told him that in some of the lowest parts of my life, I have been fortunate to have a friend or two love me. And that I would just continue to love him.

I appreciate the reminder about not being selfish and giving love away.

Good magic 8 balls!

prism

The Champ wrote:

And give good..well I mean make great cookies ..

yes...my love ability lies in my cookies....


want some?

meme

tish wrote:

Can one love another when one doesn't love oneself?

Yes, although it may not be the healthiest form of love

Hawkshore

tish wrote:

In fact, he was quite creepy and left things/candles/notes taped to my door. Now my mat is missing...

:eek: Don't worry he is probably just using the mat as fodder to masturbate with!

Spunkie

Oh well, it wasn't that cool Pearl Jam mat, anyhow, otherwise I'd have to hunt his storage locker/hostel location down

Brain of J.Lo

AmentsChick wrote:

Yes, I think absolutely you can love someone without "loving yourself". I've never spent time thinking about how much I "love myself" the way I think about those that I do love.

I agree.

justam

tish wrote:

Can one love another when one doesn't love oneself?

My opinion is that people can love others when they don't love themselves but I think their relationships aren't as successful over a period of time.

norm

justam wrote:

My opinion is that people can love others when they don't love themselves but I think their relationships aren't as successful over a period of time.

this i agree with....

Hawkshore

josevolution wrote:

loving oneself is selfish ,love was meant to be giving ..

but rather have respect for yourself ......

But isn't loving oneself just another way of saying feeling good about yourself, your actions, and who you are?

And lets face it most people are going to be far more attracted to a person who exudes these qualities.

Allie

no, you cannot. You have to love yourself first.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

tish wrote:

Can one love another when one doesn't love oneself?

Sure. It's called intercourse....i.e. a vacation from masturbation.

the wolf

my thoughts,

i love how i feel with my gf, or hell, even just family and some friends.

but do i love myself? doubt it.

but i think the the way my gf makes me feel is as close to loving myself as i can get.

and i know i love her.

so.......idk.


on a side note, the last time i loved myself, my gf came home from work early, talk about embarassing!! yikes, : )