Lonely Guy in Hotel Room
Phantom Pain
Posts: 9,876
A man checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.
He thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!
He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the heck, I'm gonna give her a call.
'Hello,' the woman says ... God, she sounded sexy.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.
No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all
alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements: toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line ...'
He thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!
He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the heck, I'm gonna give her a call.
'Hello,' the woman says ... God, she sounded sexy.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.
No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all
alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements: toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line ...'
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
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Phantom Pain wrote:A man checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.
He thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!
He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the heck, I'm gonna give her a call.
'Hello,' the woman says ... God, she sounded sexy.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.
No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all
alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements: toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line ...'
Ha!
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hahaha, nice one
Why don't you start your own thread for these? "Phantom Pain's laughter house" or something
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hahaha--Funny!!!
I thought this thread was gonna be about YOU being lonely in a hotel roomSo I'll just lie down and wait for the dream
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me0 -
funny shit...for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce0 -
I agree! I think he needs his own joke threadRygar wrote:hahaha, nice one
Why don't you start your own thread for these? "Phantom Pain's laughter house" or something There's a light when my baby's in my arms0 -
Awwwwww you guys *filling up*
I sent this one to my wife who is a Senior Sales Manager for a Hotel
They thought it was great
That's a lot of pressure to have good jokes consistently
Just ask Dunk
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers0 -
No need to ramp up frequency, just put them all in one spot for good organisationPhantom Pain wrote:Awwwwww you guys *filling up*
I sent this one to my wife who is a Senior Sales Manager for a Hotel
They thought it was great
That's a lot of pressure to have good jokes consistently
Just ask Dunk
Besides, Dunk is losing it. I think the Scots are starting to get to him.0 -
Lizard wrote:hahaha--Funny!!!
I thought this thread was gonna be about YOU being lonely in a hotel room
I remember once down Atlantic City checked into a room...I was like 15 with my parents
I guess whoever had the room prior had ordered a 24hr porn block :eek:
Man, I didn't leave the room all weekendMy drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers0 -
hehe good joke!0
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My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers0 -
Rygar wrote:No need to ramp up frequency, just put them all in one spot for good organisation
Besides, Dunk is losing it. I think the Scots are starting to get to him.
Oh I see
I can do that...no slagging when the jokes are bad My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers0 -
ah well, sucks for them, it made me laugh and that's the most important thing reallyPhantom Pain wrote:Sad part is its probably happened before
heehee 0 -
Your track record is pretty good.Phantom Pain wrote:Oh I see
I can do that...no slagging when the jokes are bad0 -
I'll add another hotel joke that someone sent me today...
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me..'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'My whole life
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln0 -
hahahahablackredyellow wrote:I'll add another hotel joke that someone sent me today...
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me..'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'0 -
LMAOblackredyellow wrote:I'll add another hotel joke that someone sent me today...
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me..'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'0 -
Rygar wrote:No need to ramp up frequency, just put them all in one spot for good organisation
Besides, Dunk is losing it. I think the Scots are starting to get to him.
:(
good jokes on this thread though
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.0
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