Lonely Guy in Hotel Room
Phantom Pain
Posts: 9,876
A man checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.
He thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!
He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the heck, I'm gonna give her a call.
'Hello,' the woman says ... God, she sounded sexy.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.
No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all
alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements: toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line ...'
He thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!
He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the heck, I'm gonna give her a call.
'Hello,' the woman says ... God, she sounded sexy.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.
No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all
alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements: toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line ...'
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
Ha!
Why don't you start your own thread for these? "Phantom Pain's laughter house" or something
I thought this thread was gonna be about YOU being lonely in a hotel room
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
wait...you mean it isn't?
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
I sent this one to my wife who is a Senior Sales Manager for a Hotel
They thought it was great
That's a lot of pressure to have good jokes consistently
Just ask Dunk
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Besides, Dunk is losing it. I think the Scots are starting to get to him.
I remember once down Atlantic City checked into a room...I was like 15 with my parents
I guess whoever had the room prior had ordered a 24hr porn block :eek:
Man, I didn't leave the room all weekend
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Sad part is its probably happened before
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Oh I see
I can do that...no slagging when the jokes are bad
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me..'
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
:(
good jokes on this thread though