And then the Fight started...
Phantom Pain
Posts: 9,876
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
==============================
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
==============================
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
==============================
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet
at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social
Security office.
She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
==============================
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
==============================
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...
asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
==============================
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
==============================
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
==============================
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet
at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social
Security office.
She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
==============================
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I
hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
==============================
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...
My drinking team has a hockey problem
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
Work e-mail at its best
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
On holiday I took my wife to a mud baths.
She asked an attendant what the mud did to your skin.
"It will make you look 10 years younger" she said.
I looked at my wife and said "you'd better go in twice"
And then the fight started.
reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please.'
He said, ' Aren't you worried about the mad
cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And then the fight started.....
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
I said, "That's OK... she can walk."
And then the fight started...