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Italian Daughter

Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
edited June 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing,crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good Morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him " You try again."
My drinking team has a hockey problem

The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • pjtradekingpjtradeking Posts: 4,045
    Funny!! :)
    Never, ever, flipping forget
    "Free Shipping" SPEEDY MCCREADY

    My friend was going to see Eddie last night. Since he was in Vegas, I gave him 5 Grand to gamble with. I told him I wanted it all to go on Black. Bastard! PhillyCrownOfThorns-11-2-12
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    :rolleyes:
  • pjsteelerfanpjsteelerfan Maryland Posts: 9,903
    Funny
    ...got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul...
  • THCTHC Posts: 525
    Hilarious... :)
    “Kept in a small bowl, the goldfish will remain small. With more space, the fish can grow double, triple, or quadruple its size.”
    -Big Fish
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    eh....
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    why does it have to be italian?
  • kh65kh65 Posts: 946
    O.K. this is the part when all of the people outside the U.S. say. "that wasn't that funny" :D
    "If you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room."

    Gambling=a taxation on stupidity.

    Remember, you can walk anywhere, as long as you have the time.

    http://www.ryanmontbleauband.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/jessedee
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    why does it have to be italian?

    well that's what I was thinking.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • westsidepiewestsidepie Posts: 627
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    why does it have to be italian?

    I second this. I am italian, and I don't see anything particularly italian about the situation.
    To pie I will reply
    But mr. justam
    is who I am

    "That's a repulsive combination of horrible information and bad breath."-Pickles

    "Remember, death is a natural part of the workplace. So, when you see a dead body at work, don't freak out, just ring your death bell." "ting"-Toki Wartooth
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    libragirl wrote:
    well that's what I was thinking.


    i mean really ???

    always gotta bring "us' up


    ehhhhhhhh ;)
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    westsidepie wrote:
    I second this. I am italian, and I don't see anything particularly italian about the situation.


    thats a good line lol anything particularly italian lol
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    westsidepie wrote:
    I second this. I am italian, and I don't see anything particularly italian about the situation.

    exactly what i was thinking
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    i mean really ???

    always gotta bring "us' up


    ehhhhhhhh ;)

    yeah!
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    libragirl wrote:
    exactly what i was thinking



    yeah!
    :D I think it's very Italian... good job, funny :)
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • South of SeattleSouth of Seattle West Seattle Posts: 10,724
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    why does it have to be italian?

    Probably because of the Ferrari :)

    or you could change it to Mercedes and call it 18 old German daughter I guess.
    NERDS!
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    You guys are American. Italy is a different country, it's in Europe, which is a different continent. ;)
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Collin wrote:
    You guys are American. Italy is a different country, it's in Europe, which is a different continent. ;)
    :D Normally these kinds of jokes are about where I'm from, Cavan... and they're still funny then! I love seeing people getting wound up and offended and all pc on us :D makes me wanna tell more italian jokes :D
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    :D Normally these kinds of jokes are about where I'm from, Cavan... and they're still funny then! I love seeing people getting wound up and offended and all pc on us :D makes me wanna tell more italian jokes :D

    :D

    In Belgium we make jokes about the Dutch (about how dumb they are, mostly, or about how they're EVERYWHERE, especially on campsites :D - this is actually not a joke, just a fact), anyway... there's a Dutch guy in my class and he has the same jokes but about - big surprise - Belgians!
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Collin wrote:
    : D

    In Belgium we make jokes about the Dutch (about how dumb they are, mostly, or about how they're EVERYWHERE, especially on campsites : D - this is actually not a joke, just a fact), anyway... there's a Dutch guy in my class and he has the same jokes but about - big surprise - Belgians!
    :D lol, there are paddy irishman paddy englishman and paddy scotsman jokes... we always had the punchline as the scotsman being the idiot... so that's how i thought it was... til I moved to England... apparently paddy irishman's the idiot :eek: :D
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • nocode23nocode23 Posts: 411
    Thanks for the monday morning laugh!:)
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    :D I think it's very Italian... good job, funny :)

    Is it? I don't know. All nationalities have their stereotypes. I'm italian so I'm used to all the mafia jokes and all. Someone actually asked me if my family was in the mafia. People are just silly sometimes. :)
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    libragirl wrote:
    Is it? I don't know. All nationalities have their stereotypes. I'm italian so I'm used to all the mafia jokes and all. Someone actually asked me if my family was in the mafia. People are just silly sometimes. :)


    SHE'S JUST TRYING to abuse me very lame

    the funny thing is she thinks were really upset lol
  • Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    why does it have to be italian?

    Would you still be upset if they guy loved Sausage and Peppers ??

    ;)
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    Phantom Pain wrote:
    Would you still be upset if they guy loved Sausage and Peppers ??

    ;)


    as your're well aware..im not nor was i ever upset , unlike certain people want to make it seems ;)




    that would be a smart man
  • Cree NationsCree Nations Posts: 2,247
    good one
    >>>>
    >
    ...a lover and a fighter.
    "I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa

    http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians

    Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
    Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
    Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    SHE'S JUST TRYING to abuse me very lame

    the funny thing is she thinks were really upset lol

    ;)
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • SpunkieSpunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 6,769
    Oh, money! My second favorite God.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    :D Normally these kinds of jokes are about where I'm from, Cavan... and they're still funny then! I love seeing people getting wound up and offended and all pc on us :D makes me wanna tell more italian jokes :D

    hmmmm, I don't know. If I hear one more person say that the English have bad teeth, I'm going to punch them in the face!
  • useruser Posts: 19
    No wonder you all have bad teeth!
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    NY PJ1 wrote:
    SHE'S JUST TRYING to abuse me very lame

    the funny thing is she thinks were really upset lol
    the funny thing is you think I care whether you're upset or not :p
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • NY PJ1NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    the funny thing is you think I care whether you're upset or not :p


    obviously u do because u search these things out and make remarks
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