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TOP 10 Eliot Spitzer Excuses

Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
edited March 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Last night David Letterman churned out the Top 10 Eliot Spitzer Excuses:



10) Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring
9) Hookers is fun
8) Just trying to help the economy
7) Have you ever been to Albany?
6) It's part of my new MTV prank show "Spitz'd"
5) Haven't been myself since Roy Schieder died
4) Uh, tainted beef?
3) Whether it's a hooker or your wife, you're always paying for it -- you married fellas know what I'm talking about
2) Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics
1) I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago
My drinking team has a hockey problem

The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Steve DunneSteve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    nice!!!
    I love to turn you on
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Awesomeness!!! :D
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Awesomeness!!! :D

    #3 is sooooooooooo true

    :o
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • xavier mcdanielxavier mcdaniel Posts: 9,294
    the front page of our two tabloids have some good headlines:

    POST - 'Ho No'

    Daily News - 'Pay for Luv Gov'
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
  • DanimalDanimal Posts: 2,000
    My favorite is #9
    "I don't believe in PJ fans but I believe there is something, not too sure what." - Thoughts_Arrive


  • josevolutionjosevolution Posts: 29,575
    the gov did say 'she was a spitzer not a swallower < if that is even a word ...
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Phantom Pain wrote:
    #3 is sooooooooooo true

    :o

    Sorry to hear that.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Sorry to hear that.

    Come on !

    Between the dates,birthdays,anniversaries,ENGAGEMENT ring

    We pay a lot !!
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,685
    Top Ten Messages Left On Eliot Spitzer's Answering Machine

    10 - Hey, what's new?

    9 - It's Barack Obama. Remember our conversation about being my running mate? Nevermind.

    8 - Ralph Nader here, glad to hear I'm not the only politician who has to pay for it

    7 - I'm calling from the 'New York Post.' Would you rather be known as 'Disgraced Gov Perv' or 'Humiliated Whore Fiend'?

    6 - This is John McCain, if it makes you feel better, I once got caught having sex with Lincoln's wife

    5 - It's Dr. Phil, call me if you need any horse**** advice

    4 - This is Senator Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?

    3 - It's Wolf Blitzer. Call me if you ever want a hot Spitzer-Blitzer three-way

    2 - Paris Hilton here. I would have done it for free

    1 - It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks, I'm no longer America's creepiest governor
  • Drop The Leash 10Drop The Leash 10 Posts: 7,011
    Rygar wrote:
    Top Ten Messages Left On Eliot Spitzer's Answering Machine

    10 - Hey, what's new?

    9 - It's Barack Obama. Remember our conversation about being my running mate? Nevermind.

    8 - Ralph Nader here, glad to hear I'm not the only politician who has to pay for it

    7 - I'm calling from the 'New York Post.' Would you rather be known as 'Disgraced Gov Perv' or 'Humiliated Whore Fiend'?

    6 - This is John McCain, if it makes you feel better, I once got caught having sex with Lincoln's wife

    5 - It's Dr. Phil, call me if you need any horse**** advice

    4 - This is Senator Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?

    3 - It's Wolf Blitzer. Call me if you ever want a hot Spitzer-Blitzer three-way

    2 - Paris Hilton here. I would have done it for free

    1 - It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks, I'm no longer America's creepiest governor
    HAHAHAHAHAH!!! :D
    I will be what i could be
    Once I get out of this town


    9/29/04;6/27/08;6/30/08;8/23/09;08/24/09;5/17/10
  • AllieAllie Posts: 2,908
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    the front page of our two tabloids have some good headlines:

    POST - 'Ho No'

    Daily News - 'Pay for Luv Gov'

    The Ho No one was funny

    can you all believe he paid 80 G's over the years!! Good grief!
    "...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
    "Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
    6-01-06
    6/25/08
    Free Speedy
    and Metsy!
  • AllieAllie Posts: 2,908
    josevolution wrote:
    the gov did say 'she was a spitzer not a swallower < if that is even a word ...
    HAH! Did you make that up yourself?!
    "...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
    "Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
    6-01-06
    6/25/08
    Free Speedy
    and Metsy!
  • xavier mcdanielxavier mcdaniel Posts: 9,294
    Allie wrote:
    The Ho No one was funny

    can you all believe he paid 80 G's over the years!! Good grief!

    hopefully it wasn't from public funds because if it was, there's no way he should be allowed to cut a deal with the feds, not that he really should be allowed to so anyway.
    Reading 2004
    Albany 2006 Camden 2006 E. Rutherford 2, 2006 Inglewood 2006,
    Chicago 2007
    Camden 2008 MSG 2008 MSG 2008 Hartford 2008.
    Seattle 2009 Seattle 2009 Philadelphia 2009,Philadelphia 2009 Philadelphia 2009
    Hartford 2010 MSG 2010 MSG 2010
    Toronto 2011,Toronto 2011
    Wrigley Field 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Brooklyn 2013 Philadelphia 2, 2013
    Philadelphia 1, 2016 Philadelphia 2 2016 New York 2016 New York 2016 Fenway 1, 2016
    Fenway 2, 2018
    MSG 2022
    St. Paul, 1, St. Paul 2 2023
    MSG 2024, MSG 2024
    Philadelphia 2024
    "I play good, hard-nosed basketball.
    Things happen in the game. Nothing you
    can do. I don't go and say,
    "I'm gonna beat this guy up."
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