Secrets

Phantom Pain

I have I guess what you would call secrets on 2 of my buddies that if their wives found out would most likely end up divorcing them

It's a weird situation to be in.....we're all friends and I think about it sometimes and I know how crappy all their lives would be if their wives found out anything

Even if I told my wife it would be WWIII

Anyone have a situation like this ?
Something that could destroy a relationship or even a friendship ?

Collin

Yes. It makes me feel powerful

I do know something about a friend, which would also destroy his relationship (he's not married, though).

Phantom Pain

Collin wrote:

Yes. It makes me feel powerful

I do know something about a friend, which would also destroy his relationship (he's not married, though).

You almost slip up and say something ?

I have

Collin

Phantom Pain wrote:

You almost slip up and say something ?

I have

No, it's not the sort of thing you can just say by accident. I can't imagine a single context in which I would be able to slip up and say something.

That's a lot easier than your situation.

meistereder

Men and women often have secrets that they know about others that if they revealed would cause conflict for the person's relationship. I used to think it was mostly guys, but I have found that women do it as much or more than men. I read a national survey recently that more wives now cheat than husbands. First time in history that women are cheating more than men, since the surveys started.

Gremmie95

coming from experience, stay the hell out of it.

Collin

meistereder wrote:

Men and women often have secrets that they know about others that if they revealed would cause conflict for the person's relationship. I used to think it was mostly guys, but I have found that women do it as much or more than men. I read a national survey recently that more wives now cheat than husbands. First time in history that women are cheating more than men, since the surveys started.

That would be the logical conclusion, that my friend cheated on her. But it's actually worse.

SENROCK

Phantom Pain wrote:

I have I guess what you would call secrets on 2 of my buddies that if their wives found out would most likely end up divorcing them

It's a weird situation to be in.....we're all friends and I think about it sometimes and I know how crappy all their lives would be if their wives found out anything

Even if I told my wife it would be WWIII

Anyone have a situation like this ?
Something that could destroy a relationship or even a friendship ?

ohhhhhh yes. I've been told ALOT of secrets that would end friendships and marriages. Its a good thing I can be trusted. Otherwise........EVERYONE would be exxxposed!!!

SENROCK

Gremmie95 wrote:

coming from experience, stay the hell out of it.

yeah. that is pretty much always the safest plan. Its often best when you know nothing at all.

Phantom Pain

Collin wrote:

No, it's not the sort of thing you can just say by accident. I can't imagine a single context in which I would be able to slip up and say something.

That's a lot easier than your situation.

I haven't almsot slipped to the person(s) involved

But to my wife

Collin

SENROCK! wrote:

ohhhhhh yes. I've been told ALOT of secrets that would end friendships and marriages. Its a good thing I can be trusted. Otherwise........EVERYONE would be exxxposed!!!

My friend (the one whose secret I know) totally exposed me when I thrusted him with a secret. It turned out okay, though i.e. I was glad in the end that he had said it, but I caused for a lot of shit at the time.

Collin

Phantom Pain wrote:

I haven't almsot slipped to the person(s) involved

But to my wife

Even to a thrid party, it would be impossible. It's a pretty BIG secret.

Phantom Pain

SENROCK! wrote:

ohhhhhh yes. I've been told ALOT of secrets that would end friendships and marriages. Its a good thing I can be trusted. Otherwise........EVERYONE would be exxxposed!!!

There was a pact made with the three of us

As if it were a blood brother thing never to tell

Weird knowing something that could destroy people

Phantom Pain

meistereder wrote:

Men and women often have secrets that they know about others that if they revealed would cause conflict for the person's relationship. I used to think it was mostly guys, but I have found that women do it as much or more than men. I read a national survey recently that more wives now cheat than husbands. First time in history that women are cheating more than men, since the surveys started.

Wow

I can't imagine if I was the person involved and someone had a secret they were keeping from me

I guess I'd never want to know

Collin

Phantom Pain wrote:

There was a pact made with the three of us

As if it were a blood brother thing never to tell

Weird knowing something that could destroy people

Besides my friend, there is one more dude who knows his secret. We've been friends forever.

Fifthelement

Are you comfortable keeping this secret, or is eating away at you? Is there a disinterested third-party that you can confide in, i.e. a therapist? Do they read this message board? Sounds like you feeling the need to let it out.

Reading your posts it sounds like a movie plot. Did they kill someone when you were all young men? Or are they in a homosexual relationship? Are they having affairs with each other's wives? Those are a few of things that I think could destroy relationships.

Good luck, I hope that everything works out the way it's supposed to.

HOOKER

oooooo secrets. DIRTY SECRETS

Phantom Pain

Fifthelement wrote:

Are you comfortable keeping this secret, or is eating away at you? Is there a disinterested third-party that you can confide in, i.e. a therapist? Do they read this message board? Sounds like you feeling the need to let it out.

Reading your posts it sounds like a movie plot. Did they kill someone when you were all young men? Or are they in a homosexual relationship? Are they having affairs with each other's wives? Those are a few of things that I think could destroy relationships.

Good luck, I hope that everything works out the way it's supposed to.

I'm some what comfortable with it but like I said I can't imagine if I was the one in the dark and someone knew something about my relationship

No they don't read the Message Board..thankfully

That 3rd party thing is a tough one..not sure I trust anyone enough to confide in...and I'm not that stressed over it to go to a therapist

No one died....no homosexual acts.....no affairs

The one guys wife involved doesn't even let him look at porn I can't imagine what would happen if things came out

Phantom Pain

HOOKER wrote:

oooooo secrets. DIRTY SECRETS

You have any ?

decides2dream

i know a LOT of stuff about many, many people. dunno why, but i do seem to be a confidante and one many onload on. dunno if i have goods to ruin one's relationship or not, i don't even think about it honestly. once someone confides in me, it usually gets discussed right then and there....and while i still 'remember' it...i let it go. besides, it's not my life, not my business. i am thankful i have no secrets in my relationship. the good, the bad and the ugly...all out there...and we accept each other and each other's behaviors thus far. it's a good and freeing feeling.

Phantom Pain

decides2dream wrote:

i know a LOT of stuff about many, many people. dunno why, but i do seem to be a confidante and one many onload on. dunno if i have goods to ruin one's relationship or not, i don't even think about it honestly. once someone confides in me, it usually gets discussed right then and there....and while i still 'remember' it...i let it go. besides, it's not my life, not my business. i am thankful i have no secrets in my relationship. the good, the bad and the ugly...all out there...and we accept each other and each other's behaviors thus far. it's a good and freeing feeling.

I usually don't think about either

But today for some reason it creeped back in

I'm more like you I remember it but let it go

There are other aspects of the night it happened that we talk about but we just don't talk about "it"