Are you dating 2 or more people at the same time?

HOOKER

If so, how do you do it?

timroth

Judging by your name you should have no problem seeing 2 or more people, one hour at a time.

HOOKER

timroth wrote:

Judging by your name you should have no problem seeing 2 or more people, one hour at a time.

Lame.

Lizard

:eek:
:eek:

yes i am. you have to very stealthy about it.

HOOKER

Lizard wrote:

:eek:
:eek:

yes i am. you have to very stealthy about it.

audiodave

HOOKER wrote:

If so, how do you do it?

I'm guessing date people who are cool with it.

I personally wouldn't do it. I fail to see what's wrong with one person...

Phantom Pain

I guess Dating 2 people wouldn't be that hard

If you were in a more committed relationship with one and dating the other that would get hairy

I'm married and still trying to get over the Sister-in-Law seduction

pearljamjen

I have before. But each guy knew I was dating around...it was made clear that we weren't in an exclusive reltationship. But then eventually I just ended up dating the one I had the best chemistry with. I think in these types of situations it is important to be honest and not lead anyone on.

EvilMerlin

I did. Well one lived in San Francisco, and one lived by me. However the one that lived by me moved up north as well...so now I don't plan to see either one when I plan to go up with them living near each other. They both hate each other as well and know of the situation. So I backed out. I still talk to both and I'll still see both, but I'll only call them up when I'm up there so they don't know my plans. If I said I was going up the whole weekend, then one or the other would try to get me to stay with them the whole weekend. I'm friends with them both now, and wouldn't pursue anything unless one of them moved back down here.

GraySaturday

I'm not now, I'm married, but at one point I was dating 4 guys.

It was beyond awesome. I was very forward with all of them. They knew they weren't the only one, they knew of each other. It seemed they felt compelled to treat me well because there was no reason for me to accept anything less since I had other guys around too. It was fun too because when one was busy, someone else was always free. I had plans every night!

Hard to keep up with after a while, and I was looking for something a little more meaningful, but at the time it was really fun and laid back. I'm still friends with 3 of them. Sadly, the other one passed away. If you are honest, and careful, it can be a positive situation for everyone involved. I do honestly think its much easier for guys to be "one of a few guys being dated" then the other way around. I think SOME (read: not all, don't attack me) women get attached quickly and can be pretty jealous and being "one of a few girls dated" is harder that way. (I know guys can get jealous and attached too, it's just my little opinion)

SENROCK

HOOKER wrote:

If so, how do you do it?

just 2? its easy.

smithnic

HOOKER wrote:

Lame.

funny actually

AmentsChick

Nope. It's not for me. I'm a one-man kinda girl.

audiodave

GraySaturday wrote:

It seemed they felt compelled to treat me well because there was no reason for me to accept anything less since I had other guys around too.

But then how do you know they were treating you well because it was who they were, or because they had competition?

IMO people should treat eachother well anyway, not just because someone else might show them up.

HOOKER

smithnic wrote:

funny actually

no.. it was pretty lame.

decides2dream

audiodave wrote:

I personally wouldn't do either. I fail to see what's wrong with one person...

why not?
seriously?
that is how you get to know people, try em out...then move on to 'exclusivity.' i know i never really did date more than 1 guy at a time for long. it doesn't take long to figure your preference. i remember my mother used to always say she didn't understand why people dated exclusively from the get go, that it made no sense. in her day, you dated LOTs of people, then narrowed it down...and eventually, hopefully, moved to the exclusive phase with someone. granted, she grew up in an era of premarital sex at least being frowned upon....but none the less. even today, i think it Is doable in the early stages...and nothing wrong with it, as long as you are upfront and honest about it. then again, i don't see much wrong with lots of things as long as you are upfront, honest...and all is agreeable.

smithnic

I guess it all depends on the term "dating" and what your expectations are. When I started dating someone, I essentially thought we were just friends. And if I wanted to hang out with someone else it was not a problem. When I started to like to hang out more and more with a particular person and "take it to the next level" (sounds like 90210 or something) then it became exclusive. Up until then, grab a spoon, life's a buffet!

SENROCK

GraySaturday wrote:

I'm not now, I'm married, but at one point I was dating 4 guys.

It was beyond awesome. I was very forward with all of them. They knew they weren't the only one, they knew of each other. It seemed they felt compelled to treat me well because there was no reason for me to accept anything less since I had other guys around too. It was fun too because when one was busy, someone else was always free. I had plans every night!

so how and why did you end up getting married? was he one of the 4 guys? me and a friend of mine have been discussing this topic lately

decides2dream

smithnic wrote:

I guess it all depends on the term "dating" and what your expectations are. When I started dating someone, I essentially thought we were just friends. And if I wanted to hang out with someone else it was not a problem. When I started to like to hang out more and more with a particular person and "take it to the next level" (sounds like 90210 or something) then it became exclusive. Up until then, grab a spoon, life's a buffet!

lotta good lines here today!


and.....exactly. it seems a bit odd? to be 'exclusive' from a first date. i think dating and relationships are not mutually exclusive, but two rather different levels.

Pauk

I don't see the problem with dating multiple people. Dating is all about getting to know the other person, and if it turns out you're not so compatible then you have to stop and start over. If you met 2 people who are great I don't see the problem with dating both to see who you get along with better. Rather that than dating 1 person that doesn't work out and in the process missing out on dating another person who could have worked better.

I guess it really depends on how you see dates. I've met a few girls who saw dates as the immediate start of a relationship, which I kinda found scary/slightly desperate. Dating to me is to stop getting in deep with a girl I have nothing in common with. I personally haven't ever dated more than 1 girl (probably because I'm quite fussy) but if I met 2 girls I got along with I'd definitely date both and then choose who to stick with a few dates down the line when it's obvious which one is gonna work. Dating isn't a relationship, and I'd definitely not sleep with someone until I was ready to start a relationship. I'd hate to be that bastard guy that girls always bitch about

SENROCK

decides2dream wrote:

why not?
seriously?
that is how you get to know people, try em out...then move on to 'exclusivity.' i know i never really did date more than 1 guy at a time for long. it doesn't take long to figure your preference. i remember my mother used to always say she didn't understand why people dated exclusively from the get go, that it made no sense. in her day, you dated LOTs of people, then narrowed it down...and eventually, hopefully, moved to the exclusive phase with someone. granted, she grew up in an era of premarital sex at least being frowned upon....but none the less. even today, i think it Is doable in the early stages...and nothing wrong with it, as long as you are upfront and honest about it. then again, i don't see much wrong with lots of things as long as you are upfront, honest...and all is agreeable.

agreed. If you date just one person, how are you gonna know if theres others out there? I think alot of people use the "oh i KNOW he/she is the one" way too soon. Sure there are qualities in one that others don't have but still. It is always best to keep your options open and not 'settle down' right away. SOME of the people that have done that are now unhappy or getting divorced! :eek:

AmentsChick

fowls wrote:

I don't see the problem with dating multiple people.

Neither do I. But, again, it's just not for me.

GraySaturday

SENROCK! wrote:

so how and why did you end up getting married? was he one of the 4 guys? me and a friend of mine have been discussing this topic lately

No, actually this was before I met him. I ended up getting exclusive with one of the 4 guys, who was my best friend through college. But in the end it was one of those friendships that was super close, and I thought a relationship would be so perfect since we were so close, and no. It was horrible. It was seriously like dating a brother. It honestly grossed me out to the point where it ruined the relationship. I met my husband at the tail end of that. We were working together. He was just a little older then me, out of college, and he had a real career and stuff. It was a breath of fresh air from dating out of the big circle of friends I had in college.

patrickredeyes

HOOKER wrote:

no.. it was pretty lame.

I got a chuckle out of it. Guess I'm lame then. lol

decides2dream

SENROCK! wrote:

agreed. If you date just one person, how are you gonna know if theres others out there? I think alot of people use the "oh i KNOW he/she is the one" way too soon. Sure there are qualities in one that others don't have but still. It is always best to keep your options open and not 'settle down' right away. SOME of the people that have done that are now unhappy or getting divorced! :eek:

yes.
i was more of a serial monogamist...sometimes with a bit of overlap. however, inbetween 'serious relationships'....you bet there was light-hearted dating until i met someone worth getting serious and monagmous with again. i am certainly not against exclusivity, not at all...but there is nothing wrong with casual dating, which to me is what 'dating' really is.....up until you meet someone worthwhile.

HOOKER

patrickredeyes wrote:

I got a chuckle out of it. Guess I'm lame then. lol

lol. Im just tired of hearing comments like that over and over. Guess I'll just blame SENROCK for this. Thanks senrock.
How does one change names in here anyway? I've tried to unban my old name but no luck... :(

sweet adeline

i'm currently only seeing my left and right hands, so thats sort of like seeing two people. they seem to be okay with it.

GraySaturday

I just want to throw it out there that, I never slept with guys that I wasn't in a longterm exclusive relationship with. I don't think thats the safest thing, and while dating around is fun and stuff, I didn't want to come off as some wild child who went nuts and slept with 4 guys for fun.

thats not me.

EvilMerlin

GraySaturday wrote:

I do honestly think its much easier for guys to be "one of a few guys being dated" then the other way around. I think SOME (read: not all, don't attack me) women get attached quickly and can be pretty jealous and being "one of a few girls dated" is harder that way. (I know guys can get jealous and attached too, it's just my little opinion)

I completely agree with that from my experiences. I know if I'm one of just the guys that she's seeing, I'm okay with that and just hope she's happy with her choices, as I can do the same. However the drama of two or more girls and the stress that put on me...Ugh, it just gets old veeerrrry quickly. Especially when what they wanted out of the situation would change on a daily basis to whatever they thought I wanted to hear at the time. It became a big game rather than just taking it seriously and enjoying the times we were having.

HOOKER

sweet adeline wrote:

i'm currently only seeing my left and right hands, so thats sort of like seeing two people. they seem to be okay with it.

Ha

audiodave

decides2dream wrote:

why not?
seriously?
that is how you get to know people, try em out...then move on to 'exclusivity.' i know i never really did date more than 1 guy at a time for long. it doesn't take long to figure your preference. i remember my mother used to always say she didn't understand why people dated exclusively from the get go, that it made no sense. in her day, you dated LOTs of people, then narrowed it down...and eventually, hopefully, moved to the exclusive phase with someone. granted, she grew up in an era of premarital sex at least being frowned upon....but none the less. even today, i think it Is doable in the early stages...and nothing wrong with it, as long as you are upfront and honest about it. then again, i don't see much wrong with lots of things as long as you are upfront, honest...and all is agreeable.

It just isn't for me. And like someone else said, I guess it depends what you define as a "date".

I don't see anything WRONG with it, and I think it's all fine as long as you're upfront and honest about it from the start. Just isn't my preference.

I guess if it's people you don't know at all, then it's a good way to get to know them.