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Bad Analogies...because DAYUM this place is dead.

failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
edited May 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Come on people...you know how like when you are kinda tipsy and a friend comes to you for advice, and all you can offer is the lamest freakin' analogy that makes no sense??


give em to me...I love bad analogies...

here is my top favorite one (currently)

My buddy was telling me why he had recently broken up with a girlfriend of like 4 years:

"so, like it was like my heart is like it's like this plate {paper plate on counter} and I was like trying to eat soup off of it...like her love was chicken soup."

yep...god, I love stoner/surfers. :D
IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
Post edited by Unknown User on

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  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    failedpersephone wrote:

    "so, like it was like my heart is like it's like this plate {paper plate on counter} and I was like trying to eat soup off of it...like her love was chicken soup."

    yep...god, I love stoner/surfers. :D


    i think you've killed your own thread cuz there isn't anything better than that :D:D:D





    analogies....hehehehehe
  • Rhinocerous SurpriseRhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    I use lots of these in my writing. :D

    Audioslave: "It was set to be an explosive combination. But when the bomb went off, it wasn't so much musical dynamite as a smoke bomb that didn't work like you expected, and exuded a strange smell."

    My potential exam failures: "Much like a 19 year old girl waking up in a stranger's bed after a night on the juice, I dread test results like little else in this world."

    On securing an interview with the leader of the Green Party: "It's somewhat akin to hitting the big leagues, but instead of taking on the giant on top, we've gone for the soft, malleable midget they toss around for leverage."

    On missing some important lectures: "You may laugh at my unfortunate situation, but that's like kicking Superman in the trunks, then laughing when he shouts swear words at your mother."
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    hahahaha the midget one is great!!!

    also - I like your siggie...Rhinocerous...
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Rhinocerous SurpriseRhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    failedpersephone wrote:
    hahahaha the midget one is great!!!

    also - I like your siggie...Rhinocerous...

    Thankies. I'll see if I can dig up anymore. :D
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    "sometimes intentions are more important than actions...like say I was INTENDING to give you a hug...but i hit you in the face instead...like with my elbow or something...I mean, you may be bleeding, but I was trying to comfort you...so isn't that more important? because I wasn't like trying to hit you."


    that one made me laugh so much I farted...hahahaaaa
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Rhinocerous SurpriseRhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    "One night about 6 months ago, I sat down to write an article about how music was, for all intents and purposes, dying on its feet. I had a lot of bile to spew, having watched the Arctic Monkeys et al climb the charts, despite the very obvious fact that they were about as fresh and exciting as an air-freshener that's been sullied by a drunk Mexican."
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • Rhinocerous SurpriseRhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    Christmas 2006: I've been considering looking for a wah-wah pedal, but that would mean having to go into a shop and ask for a "Wah-Wah Pedal". Which is just far too stupid. It'd be like going into a pet store, and asking for a "Woof-Woof Dog". Or a stationary shop and asking for a "Writey-Writey Pen".
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • Rhinocerous SurpriseRhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    Last one, this time about being told a particular lecturer made her classes really interesting:
    "It's like telling someone that Meatloaf makes the best elevator muzak ever, then forcing them to spend three hours in a cramped lift with the operatic "fat-boy" himself, after a particularly violent curry."
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    Rhinocerous Surprise wrote:
    Last one, this time about being told a particular lecturer made her classes really interesting:
    "It's like telling someone that Meatloaf makes the best elevator muzak ever, then forcing them to spend three hours in a cramped lift with the operatic "fat-boy" himself, after a particularly violent curry."
    :eek:


    I am so glad I dont have smell-o-vision...
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Rhinocerous SurpriseRhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    failedpersephone wrote:
    :eek:


    I am so glad I dont have smell-o-vision...

    Like Cutback said... analogies. :p

    My favourite one ever, completely unrelated to anything, was in a computer games magazine. "Tanks: like angry houses."
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • drivingrldrivingrl Posts: 1,448
    failedpersephone wrote:
    "so, like it was like my heart is like it's like this plate {paper plate on counter} and I was like trying to eat soup off of it...like her love was chicken soup."

    So he's saying what their relationship needed was a straw?
    drivingrl: "Will I ever get to meet Gwen Stefani?"
    kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.

    Next!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    drivingrl wrote:
    So he's saying what their relationship needed was a straw?
    that's as good a guess as I could come up with...


    after that explanation he held up a banana and tried again ... something about how after a while the bruises were evident, and it wasn't a perfect fruit anymore.


    I made a big thing out of not understanding him and pretended that he was telling me that he beat her...he got very frustrated and it was pretty funny.

    I love him like a brother, but he ain't got brain ONE in his head. :p
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • LindaLinda Posts: 1,656
    my daughter. " i know where your house lives"
    i'm not happy yet.....
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    i always liked this one.

    from Mr. Hank Williams Jr.

    "Garth Brooks did to country music what pantyhose did to finger fucking"
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    More similes really, but my brothers father in law is legendary for bad ones. He once said of a trip to the races (the track) that was over crowded, "we were crammed in like sardines in a jam pot" :D
    Also reffered to speed bumps, aka 'sleeping policemen', as "sleeping soldiers" :D.
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
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