Bad Analogies...because DAYUM this place is dead.

failedpersephone

Come on people...you know how like when you are kinda tipsy and a friend comes to you for advice, and all you can offer is the lamest freakin' analogy that makes no sense??


give em to me...I love bad analogies...

here is my top favorite one (currently)

My buddy was telling me why he had recently broken up with a girlfriend of like 4 years:

"so, like it was like my heart is like it's like this plate {paper plate on counter} and I was like trying to eat soup off of it...like her love was chicken soup."

yep...god, I love stoner/surfers.

norm

failedpersephone wrote:

"so, like it was like my heart is like it's like this plate {paper plate on counter} and I was like trying to eat soup off of it...like her love was chicken soup."

yep...god, I love stoner/surfers.

i think you've killed your own thread cuz there isn't anything better than that :D:D





analogies....hehehehehe

Rhinocerous Surprise

I use lots of these in my writing.

Audioslave: "It was set to be an explosive combination. But when the bomb went off, it wasn't so much musical dynamite as a smoke bomb that didn't work like you expected, and exuded a strange smell."

My potential exam failures: "Much like a 19 year old girl waking up in a stranger's bed after a night on the juice, I dread test results like little else in this world."

On securing an interview with the leader of the Green Party: "It's somewhat akin to hitting the big leagues, but instead of taking on the giant on top, we've gone for the soft, malleable midget they toss around for leverage."

On missing some important lectures: "You may laugh at my unfortunate situation, but that's like kicking Superman in the trunks, then laughing when he shouts swear words at your mother."

failedpersephone

hahahaha the midget one is great!!!

also - I like your siggie...Rhinocerous...

Rhinocerous Surprise

failedpersephone wrote:

hahahaha the midget one is great!!!

also - I like your siggie...Rhinocerous...

Thankies. I'll see if I can dig up anymore.

failedpersephone

"sometimes intentions are more important than actions...like say I was INTENDING to give you a hug...but i hit you in the face instead...like with my elbow or something...I mean, you may be bleeding, but I was trying to comfort you...so isn't that more important? because I wasn't like trying to hit you."


that one made me laugh so much I farted...hahahaaaa

Rhinocerous Surprise

"One night about 6 months ago, I sat down to write an article about how music was, for all intents and purposes, dying on its feet. I had a lot of bile to spew, having watched the Arctic Monkeys et al climb the charts, despite the very obvious fact that they were about as fresh and exciting as an air-freshener that's been sullied by a drunk Mexican."

Rhinocerous Surprise

Christmas 2006: I've been considering looking for a wah-wah pedal, but that would mean having to go into a shop and ask for a "Wah-Wah Pedal". Which is just far too stupid. It'd be like going into a pet store, and asking for a "Woof-Woof Dog". Or a stationary shop and asking for a "Writey-Writey Pen".

Rhinocerous Surprise

Last one, this time about being told a particular lecturer made her classes really interesting:
"It's like telling someone that Meatloaf makes the best elevator muzak ever, then forcing them to spend three hours in a cramped lift with the operatic "fat-boy" himself, after a particularly violent curry."

failedpersephone

Rhinocerous Surprise wrote:

Last one, this time about being told a particular lecturer made her classes really interesting:
"It's like telling someone that Meatloaf makes the best elevator muzak ever, then forcing them to spend three hours in a cramped lift with the operatic "fat-boy" himself, after a particularly violent curry."

:eek:


I am so glad I dont have smell-o-vision...

Rhinocerous Surprise

failedpersephone wrote:

:eek:


I am so glad I dont have smell-o-vision...

Like Cutback said... analogies.

My favourite one ever, completely unrelated to anything, was in a computer games magazine. "Tanks: like angry houses."

drivingrl

failedpersephone wrote:

"so, like it was like my heart is like it's like this plate {paper plate on counter} and I was like trying to eat soup off of it...like her love was chicken soup."

So he's saying what their relationship needed was a straw?

failedpersephone

drivingrl wrote:

So he's saying what their relationship needed was a straw?

that's as good a guess as I could come up with...


after that explanation he held up a banana and tried again ... something about how after a while the bruises were evident, and it wasn't a perfect fruit anymore.


I made a big thing out of not understanding him and pretended that he was telling me that he beat her...he got very frustrated and it was pretty funny.

I love him like a brother, but he ain't got brain ONE in his head.

Linda

my daughter. " i know where your house lives"

the wolf

i always liked this one.

from Mr. Hank Williams Jr.

"Garth Brooks did to country music what pantyhose did to finger fucking"

jamie uk

More similes really, but my brothers father in law is legendary for bad ones. He once said of a trip to the races (the track) that was over crowded, "we were crammed in like sardines in a jam pot"
Also reffered to speed bumps, aka 'sleeping policemen', as "sleeping soldiers" .