Woman Advice Needed...I am Clueless as Usual

RockinInCanada

Nevermind....too much detail to make me comfortable.....go at it alone....lol

harmless_little_f***

Tell her how you feel.

RockinInCanada

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Tell her how you feel.

I feel that she likes me and is in a difficult situation...you have been with someone for awhile it is going to junk and you sometimes hold yourself back from letting go of them because you think of the good times...I know this as good as anyone and had to finally make the difficult step...which has made me happy.....

I feel she is very interested in me, I think the tells are obvious, unless I am really an idiot...all my friends seem to agree (however all male opinions). I just do not want to get hung up this girl if she ends up deciding fall back into trying with this guy....however I think her not mentioning him until our third meet-up tells me she was keeping that from me for a reason (plus had nothing postive to say at all about him...also the invites to do stuff/look at stuff suggest interest to....I just fear I will get too ahead of myself and on the flip-side wonder when I shoudl make a serious move...not right away but sooner than later....as I said I do not girls like this often...hell at all really...

RockinInCanada

The irony in all of this...lol...is I responded in a thread a little time back saying how I have never fallen for someone technically in a relationship (if you can call this that as she even alludes to as not...so it seems to me).

melodious

ric

you have always been a great source for me...i admire you extensively.
if she hurt you once, she will hurt you again.

it sounds to me like she has a compromise with ego and not sincere with feelings...I believe that you have a first commitment to a higher element

this past year, i could not take being abused and neglected by a partner myself. i didn't ask the person to be out of my life because i had another hook up but moreso because i wanted to know myself through god. and with this commitment, i find that life is a journey that each day brings new friends and events that are as amusing as any night on a town.

the fact that you are here, seeking out advice says alot in itself....you are having doubts and you should.

i am not saying to close the door but take extreme care and caution to know this person and for your own sense of moral, give enough time to let her show you appreciation...even in friendship...

we tend to want to think that relationships are all tied up in a perfect package, but i think you are wise enough to understand that evolutionary processes take a great deal of time and trust...

trust in your source...

i allowed my friend to disrespect me for five years and then when i finally asked for a change in our relationship, it was the best move i could ever make for myself...don't be afraid of the unfamiliarity..

what do your friends say? if and when you ask for advice from separate entities and they all advise you similarly, remember how coincidence has a greater influence than we give credit to; it is the universe reaching and speaking out to you.....

melodious

error.

RockinInCanada

melodious wrote:

ric

you have always been a great source for me...i admire you extensively.
if she hurt you once, she will hurt you again.

it sounds to me like she has a compromise with ego and not sincere with feelings...I believe that you have a first commitment to a higher element

this past year, i could not take being abused and neglected by a partner myself. i didn't ask the person to be out of my life because i had another hook up but moreso because i wanted to know myself through god. and with this commitment, i find that life is a journey that each day brings new friends and events that are as amusing as any night on a town.

the fact that you are here, seeking out vice says alot in itself....you are having doubts and you should.

i am not saying to close the door but take extreme care and caution to know this person and for your own sense of moral, give enough time to let her show you appreciation...even in friendship...

we tend to want to think that relationships are all tied up in a perfect package, but i think you are wise enough to understand that evolutionary processes take a great deal of time and trust...

trust in your source...

i allowed my friend to disrespect me for five years and then when i finally asked for a change in our relationship, it was the best move i could ever make for myself...don't be afraid of the unfamiliarity..

what do your friends say? if and when you ask for advice from separate entities and they all advise you similarly, remember how coincidence has a greater influence than we give credit to for it is the universe reaching and speaking out to you.....

Thanks for that Melody...intellgient and caring as usual . My friends believe that I need not get ahead of myself and let things progress...they believe there is obvious interest however I should not let my mind (well my heart) get too far ahead...however they feel that in the immeditate future to be subtle in any attempts...just some small signs that show that I have interest....without laying everything on the table in one big push I guess.

My weakness in these matters throughout my life is getting ahead of things...sometimes it works sometime it doesn't....however I feel that rushing is not the best thing...maybe I need to mentally reign myself in for the time being and take things for as they are.....maybe all it is to be friends...but deep down I do not get that impression at all...and I am very accurate at reading people...especially lately for some unknown reason that I cannot explain really....

I do not think asking for advice is that bad....it can be about re-assurance about the for sure as much the negative I guess.....I gave my friend some lady advice awhile back and he went with my suggestion (what he felt was right but was not truely confident as had been burned before) and it has been fantastic for him...couldn't be happier for the guy the guy I guess.

melodious

we are undergoing a great deal of atmospherical changes...but the main thing is for you and she to both feel a sense of dignity and self respect.

i just would'n't want to see anyone be hoodwinked.

but, might i ask, do you like her? does she like you? is there acceptance between each of you? true love lies in the spiritual sense...there is no competition involved.

the next question is delicate; but i might ask anyhow...she has been with another guy....what exactly does that mean? i mean...think about the cautions as to what toxins she can expose to you....

can you live with that? and will she accept your forgiveness as weakness or strength...?

sometimes we as people like to be involved with others because we cannot deal with ourselves and this is not how a healthy realationship is forged...healthy relationships endure a test of time and both people are involved for the betterment of eachother...in fact, i am learning that you can love someone through distance and space moreso than if you are with them...

that ol' addage, if you love some let them go, is not easy feat to endure; but in the long run, you are loving yourself by doing so...who do you love more?

peace...

Whizbang

Rockin'InCanada wrote:

I feel that she likes me and is in a difficult situation...you have been with someone for awhile it is going to junk and you sometimes hold yourself back from letting go of them because you think of the good times...I know this as good as anyone and had to finally make the difficult step...which has made me happy.....

I feel she is very interested in me, I think the tells are obvious, unless I am really an idiot...all my friends seem to agree (however all male opinions). I just do not want to get hung up this girl if she ends up deciding fall back into trying with this guy....however I think her not mentioning him until our third meet-up tells me she was keeping that from me for a reason (plus had nothing postive to say at all about him...also the invites to do stuff/look at stuff suggest interest to....I just fear I will get too ahead of myself and on the flip-side wonder when I shoudl make a serious move...not right away but sooner than later....as I said I do not girls like this often...hell at all really...

my friend...

if she is involved with the guy, and has yet to break the emotional tie, walk away. If it is meant to be, you'll meet up with her when she has no attachment to him or anyone else. I've learned long ago that if you're trying to cultivate a relationship with someone who has not cut emotional ties completely with someone else (or if you are involved with someone and trying to find a "safety net"), that person (or yourself) is likely to do it again....a pattern.

melodious

always look at patterns...very wise words...a person can say one thing but patterns always reveal...

Bu2

I would say that it's best if there's no other relationship involved. Just my two cents.

DOSW

Rockin'InCanada wrote:

I feel that she likes me and is in a difficult situation...you have been with someone for awhile it is going to junk and you sometimes hold yourself back from letting go of them because you think of the good times...I know this as good as anyone and had to finally make the difficult step...which has made me happy.....

I feel she is very interested in me, I think the tells are obvious, unless I am really an idiot...all my friends seem to agree (however all male opinions). I just do not want to get hung up this girl if she ends up deciding fall back into trying with this guy....however I think her not mentioning him until our third meet-up tells me she was keeping that from me for a reason (plus had nothing postive to say at all about him...also the invites to do stuff/look at stuff suggest interest to....I just fear I will get too ahead of myself and on the flip-side wonder when I shoudl make a serious move...not right away but sooner than later....as I said I do not girls like this often...hell at all really...

Oh my god dude. This is exactly what I'm going through to a T. I've fallen for this girl that is in a horrible relationship, and she talks to me a lot about how much she thinks her boyfriend is a complete asshole, how he always hurts her (emotionally), has a horrible jealous streak, etc. etc. I didn't really start talking to her until recently, so it's kind of strange that she's opening up so much about her bad relationship. It makes me wonder why she's doing it. But we talk and laugh all the time, text every day, she gives me rides home from class, etc. We don't outright flirt obviously because she's in a relationship, but we've both said some slightly more-than-friendly things.

By this point I'm hopeless... there's really no turning back from how I feel. I'm basically waiting and hoping that she breaks up with her boyfriend, which obviously isn't a good situation for me because even if she does, she most likely wouldn't be open to a new relationship right away. So I feel confused, frustrated, and depressed but also sometimes hopeful all at the same time. I know it can either turn out great or I end up hurt bad, most likely the latter. And that's the worst part.

Drop The Leash 10

it's right below the abdomen

harmless_little_f***

This thread is hilarious.

Like I said, tell her how you feel. Stop thinking and writing about it and trying to extrapolate how she feels. Find out. She'll either go back with that guy, or with you. Either way, nothing to lose.

melodious

Madonna sang that one well, "Express yourself"

thanks for the new word, extrapolate....I have to look that up and spend a week or so pondering how I have made it a career.