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Friendship categories and the Bubble.

romybianromybian Posts: 1,644
edited December 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
I've been in the US for almost 4 months, and I've seen and heard a lot of stuff that surprised me, but there's this particular thing about friendship I'm just thrilled about.
"Friends".
They gave us this little introduction when we first arived, some tips about American culture and the way college students interact, the bubble thing (topic for a very long essay too), and "Friends".
I hear people refering to almost everyone as their friends. They have friends they go to class with, friends they have lunch with, friends they go out with, friends they eventually cross the bridge to go to class with.... and so on.
Anyone that doesn't fall into that category is either a BF or someone they've never heard of or seen in their entire lives.
It's funny, we call everyone by what they are (back home). If you go to class with them they're classmates, if you work with them, people from work, if you cross the bridge at the same time every morning and eventually talk about the weather for 2 minutes till you reach the other shore, they're people you know. That's it. Friends are the ones that know your middle and last names and know pretty much everything about your life.
I'm not saying it's wrong, It just sounds so funny when someone I've never talked to for more than 20 minutes says I'm their friend... I feel I've not won that yet, and It kinda takes the magic away, you know when you feel you've touched someone inside enough for them to consider you their friend.

And then there's the Bubble, that one cracks me up as much as our absence of it would shock the average american (or german or from any of these countries whey they have this bubble thing) that has never been to Argentina (not a very popular place to go, I know, but u get the point). September 4th it was my birthday, one of my friends (as in FRIEND) got me a present, I loved it so I immediatly went for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The guy just froze, with this raped virgin look on his face, he just stood there, arms aside of the body, eyes wide open like if I had just tried to take his clothes off. Everyone else started laughing they're asses off while he stood there with his face all red. I go "Sorry, I just can't get used to this lack of contact", he goes "that's.s.s.s.ss ff f fine"/
I know, it's kind of extreme.... Not what every bubble person would do but it proves the point, We're so different!.
When we meet someone, we kiss on the cheek, even if it's the first time you've ever seen that person in your life, it's considered a nice gesture, so you can imagine how weird it is to me to go around campus shaking hands all day long.
I love different cultures! it's so fun to interact and find these little details.

Just sharing... Time to go eat dinner.
Peace!
"The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
I'm no dude! Dudette!
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    bubble? what is that?

    i had a friend from puerto rico who always liked to do the kissing the cheek and stuff. she was way hot though, so i was cool with it. i definitely wouldn't know what to do if someone did that to me. my rule of thumb would be the old "when in rome" thing. if i went to argentina, i'd be ready for doing the kissing thing. but if they were here, i'd be very surprised and taken aback.

    as to friends, i don't know anyone's middle name except for my family. i think the american emphasis on independence and privacy makes those kinds of friendships VERY rare. we kind of keep our distance more, so friendship has a much more casual connotation than elsewhere i think.
  • romybianromybian Posts: 1,644
    soulsinging wrote:
    bubble? what is that?.

    Personal space
    soulsinging wrote:
    as to friends, i don't know anyone's middle name except for my family. i think the american emphasis on independence and privacy makes those kinds of friendships VERY rare. we kind of keep our distance more, so friendship has a much more casual connotation than elsewhere i think.
    Yup. And it's so weird to me, as I'm sure it'd be weird for people not used to my culture to go over there!. This girl I met here went to Argentina and she said everyone had told her to be ready for the kiss thing, but when she got off the plane and her host family went to meet her she just froze there.
    It amazes me, to see all these differences, I find it so interesting.
    "The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
    I'm no dude! Dudette!
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    romybian wrote:
    Personal space

    Yup. And it's so weird to me, as I'm sure it'd be weird for people not used to my culture to go over there!. This girl I met here went to Argentina and she said everyone had told her to be ready for the kiss thing, but when she got off the plane and her host family went to meet her she just froze there.
    It amazes me, to see all these differences, I find it so interesting.

    it is a lot of fun :) i've really only been to ireland, which is not vastly different from the US, but there were still noticeable differences. and we do value our personal space quite a bit. there's a lot of sexual tension here... it's the result of a country founded by puritans ;)

    your location says ohio... is that where you are now? im from ohio, went to uni at ohio state. i had a blast!
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    I hate the kissing thing. It's so false. Sometimes I want to hug my friends but I don't because I'm English. :p
  • romybianromybian Posts: 1,644
    soulsinging wrote:
    it is a lot of fun :) i've really only been to ireland, which is not vastly different from the US, but there were still noticeable differences. and we do value our personal space quite a bit. there's a lot of sexual tension here... it's the result of a country founded by puritans ;)

    your location says ohio... is that where you are now? im from ohio, went to uni at ohio state. i had a blast!
    Yup... Ended up here landing a job here as a Spanish TA. I'm done in May, and even if I miss my city like I've never missed anything before, It'll be tough to say goodbye to this place. It is incredibly different but it has it's charm, the views are just gorgeous! And I've met a lot of really nice people. But I come from a huge city, and here I am in good old New Concord, tiny charming little place surrounded by hills and trees, it's been really inspiring and hard at times. :)
    Nothing beats traveling, it opens up your minds in ways u never thought it would!.
    I've got to appreciate my country and my city a lot from being here, by seeing how even if there's too many things to solve, there's nothing like home, when you grow up with something you get so used to it that it's hard to feel at home somewhere else.
    And again, I've met the most wonderful people. There's a bunch of international students too, most of them have become my FRIENDS, and the rest are just great people to be around.
    "The joke in your language won't come out the same" (Tom Petty)
    I'm no dude! Dudette!
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    romybian wrote:
    Yup... Ended up here landing a job here as a Spanish TA. I'm done in May, and even if I miss my city like I've never missed anything before, It'll be tough to say goodbye to this place. It is incredibly different but it has it's charm, the views are just gorgeous! And I've met a lot of really nice people. But I come from a huge city, and here I am in good old New Concord, tiny charming little place surrounded by hills and trees, it's been really inspiring and hard at times. :)
    Nothing beats traveling, it opens up your minds in ways u never thought it would!.
    I've got to appreciate my country and my city a lot from being here, by seeing how even if there's too many things to solve, there's nothing like home, when you grow up with something you get so used to it that it's hard to feel at home somewhere else.
    And again, I've met the most wonderful people. There's a bunch of international students too, most of them have become my FRIENDS, and the rest are just great people to be around.

    hehe, even i dont know where new concord is ;) im glad you're enjoying the experience though!
  • PJGARDENPJGARDEN Posts: 1,484
    when I was in college a guy I had met one time saw me walking down the hall. He came over and kissed me in the cheek. I just froze. Nobody had ever greeted me like that before. Its funny now but at the time I don't think I could even talk to him. Can't remember where he was from. Your right about the friend and the bubble thing. We are different but thats why its so much fun to meet people from other places.
  • covered in blisscovered in bliss chi-caw-go Posts: 1,332
    yeah, the friendship thing is weird. In the old days, "friends" were friends... everyone else was an aquaintance or like you said... "someone from school", work, etc. Now, complete strangers are friends. (Um..myspace?)

    The bubble thing is funny... I would love to live in your hometown. I know French people and they are always quick with the double kisses and hugs. If they like you, you will always have a long welcome and goodbye... if they don't, they won't even look at you twice. :) None of this fake-friend bullshite. It's a little refreshing and 'real' in today's day-and-age. Slightly old-fashioned, ya know?
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