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I never really get that personal on around here...but here goes nothing

SomethingCreativeSomethingCreative Kazoo, MI Posts: 3,395
edited December 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
My girlfriend and I just broke up...we were together for 4 years. She just finished her first quarter of college. She said she's too busy and that she might go to grad school somewhere out of state and it wouldn't be fair if we kept going like this....

I guess I'm only 20 but shit...4 years...I can't even remember what it was like to be single....I don't know where the hell I'll find someone else either..I'm not in school anymore, I don't really party that much, and I can't go into bars yet....Maybe I'll find someone at the next show I go to :)
"Well, I think this band is incapable of sucking."
-my dad after hearing Not for You for the first time on SNL .
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • small town becksmall town beck Posts: 6,691
    You are in the age of change. She will always be really special to you but you change so much. You are a different person then you were at sixteen. You will be different in a few years even. Maybe she is your person and maybe she is not. Now is a great time though to get to know your self. Maybe you will meet someone great at a show..it has happened :D
  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    mate, everything happens for a reason, chin up.
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  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    You're young, so am I.. went through a divorce this year - bugger - but we should hang in there, thing's'll get better again...
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • SpunkieSpunkie i come from downtown. Posts: 6,705
    Sorry to hear your girl left you. Take your time with those feelings... Speaking from experience, jumping from one relationship to the next was alot of pure avoiding. I have been fortunate to have had time to face those difficult emotions. So, count yourself lucky if the next bus doesn't pull up stat.
  • deadnotedeadnote Posts: 1,678
    my death is instant
    set your laughter free

    dreamer in my dream

    we got the guns

    i love you,but im..............callin out.........callin out
  • tylerpjtxtylerpjtx Posts: 201
    i went through some similar shit a couple years ago. it hurts, but i've grown so much in the past two years....i've experienced a lot of great new things without having to worry about keeping someone else happy. being single can be incredible....not in the "i can hook up with all sorts of new girls now" way...but more in the way that you can set yourself free...you have no one you have to consider but yourself when deciding stuff...even little stuff like where to eat...now you can go where you want. i know it sounds kinda dumb but its a good way to deal with it and opens your eyes to how good that freedom can be. and when the time is right, something good will happen for you...she'll come back or someone even better will come along. keep that head up man, this could be the first step to you finding out a LOT of stuff about yourself.
    all these burning battlefields are now behind us, life has brought us here together to remind us, that love will rise above it all and just keep growin, life keeps flowing and every moment starts right here with us
    -mason jennings
  • SomethingCreativeSomethingCreative Kazoo, MI Posts: 3,395
    wow thanks everybody. thank you so much
    "Well, I think this band is incapable of sucking."
    -my dad after hearing Not for You for the first time on SNL .
  • Indian SummerIndian Summer Posts: 2,296
    I remember when I broke it off with my first serious gf....and I felt just like you.....let me tell ya, dating is frustrating....but the second you kinda quit looking for a gf, it the second you find somebody. Life goes on bro.
    "It's all happening"
  • SomethingCreativeSomethingCreative Kazoo, MI Posts: 3,395
    one good thing that has come out of this is that we just had probably the best, most intense band practice I've ever been a part of...it felt fucking awesome lol
    "Well, I think this band is incapable of sucking."
    -my dad after hearing Not for You for the first time on SNL .
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    SomethingCreative wrote:
    one good thing that has come out of this is that we just had probably the best, most intense band practice I've ever been a part of...it felt fucking awesome lol

    if you are a musician, you should not have trouble meeting new people. do you have a myspace page? that's a good way. i'm sorry about your breakup.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    I just saw your myspace. Is that you in the green shirt next to Mike? You lucky person, you met mike :)
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • SomethingCreativeSomethingCreative Kazoo, MI Posts: 3,395
    iluvcats wrote:
    I just saw your myspace. Is that you in the green shirt next to Mike? You lucky person, you met mike :)


    yeah I look like a fuckin spaz in that picture though lol
    "Well, I think this band is incapable of sucking."
    -my dad after hearing Not for You for the first time on SNL .
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    Actually, I was in your position when I was 20 (although we had only been together for 2 years). I was totally and completely heart-broken. I was cheated on by my first love!! I wasn't in school, couldn't go to bars. I honestly didn't think I'd survive...but I did. It was, now that I look back, one of the greatest times of my life!! I spent that summer with my friends and at the gym! I lost weight, felt great about myself...and when I turned 21...watch out!!! :D Several months later I met an amazing guy that I dated for several years.

    I guess the point I'm trying to make is...I know it hurts...it sucks alot! But, pick yourself up and doing something for YOURSELF!! Work out, get massages, hang out with the guys!
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Actually, I was in your position when I was 20 (although we had only been together for 2 years). I was totally and completely heart-broken. I was cheated on by my first love!! I wasn't in school, couldn't go to bars. I honestly didn't think I'd survive...but I did. It was, now that I look back, one of the greatest times of my life!! I spent that summer with my friends and at the gym! I lost weight, felt great about myself...and when I turned 21...watch out!!! :D Several months later I met an amazing guy that I dated for several years.

    I guess the point I'm trying to make is...I know it hurts...it sucks alot! But, pick yourself up and doing something for YOURSELF!! Work out, get massages, hang out with the guys!

    get massages? where?
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    iluvcats wrote:
    get massages? where?

    Well....one of my friends was a masseur...so I got alot of them back then.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • gleemonexgleemonex Posts: 848
    I'm in a pretty similar situation. I'm 21 and had been with the same girl for 3 years. Towards the end we weren't really getting along as well though, we both felt like it wasn't working. I was willing to try to work through it and she said she was too. It was our 3 year anniversary two weeks ago and she chose that day as the best time to break up with me. I didn't mind breaking up, but her doing it on the anniversary kinda sucked. I think she only dragged it out as long as she did so that she'd have some other guy to go to when it was over with me. What a bitch.
    “Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’” - Kurt Vonnegut
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    SomethingCreative wrote:
    My girlfriend and I just broke up...we were together for 4 years. She just finished her first quarter of college. She said she's too busy and that she might go to grad school somewhere out of state and it wouldn't be fair if we kept going like this....

    I guess I'm only 20 but shit...4 years...I can't even remember what it was like to be single....I don't know where the hell I'll find someone else either..I'm not in school anymore, I don't really party that much, and I can't go into bars yet....Maybe I'll find someone at the next show I go to :)

    don't feel bad man, it's got nothing to do with you. no relationship survives that first year of college. she's meeting a ton of new people and it's exciting and you're a weight around her neck becos of it. you should do what she's doing: stop thinking about the one and just have some fun. you're young. enjoy it while you can.
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    gleemonex wrote:
    I'm in a pretty similar situation. I'm 21 and had been with the same girl for 3 years. Towards the end we weren't really getting along as well though, we both felt like it wasn't working. I was willing to try to work through it and she said she was too. It was our 3 year anniversary two weeks ago and she chose that day as the best time to break up with me. I didn't mind breaking up, but her doing it on the anniversary kinda sucked. I think she only dragged it out as long as she did so that she'd have some other guy to go to when it was over with me. What a bitch.

    yeah, people drag it out becos they keep telling themselves maybe they can work things out. it usually isn't until they meet someone that gets that spark going again that they realize it can't be worked out or it's not worth working out and gives them the push/courage to leave. it sucks to be on the losing end of that.
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    tish wrote:
    Sorry to hear your girl left you. Take your time with those feelings... Speaking from experience, jumping from one relationship to the next was alot of pure avoiding. I have been fortunate to have had time to face those difficult emotions. So, count yourself lucky if the next bus doesn't pull up stat.

    some sound advice. It's always better to take the time for yourself after a breakup. Jumping from one to another is not only avoiding but you also never learn who you are or learn from the mistakes made. Time to yourself makes it better going into the next one with a clear head and a sense of yourself.

    chin up...
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • SomethingCreativeSomethingCreative Kazoo, MI Posts: 3,395
    holy shit I can't believe how much of a response I got from all of you, especially because I don't really post on this section of the forum that much...thank you all soooo much this is really helping me.
    "Well, I think this band is incapable of sucking."
    -my dad after hearing Not for You for the first time on SNL .
  • Bangers_n_mashBangers_n_mash Posts: 1,241
    soulsinging wrote:
    don't feel bad man, it's got nothing to do with you. no relationship survives that first year of college. she's meeting a ton of new people and it's exciting and you're a weight around her neck becos of it. you should do what she's doing: stop thinking about the one and just have some fun. you're young. enjoy it while you can.
    Good point. Soon enough you'll realise how awesome your newfound freedom is. Just take it easy, treat yourself often and hang out with friends and family!
    uʍop ǝpısdn ǝɹ,ǝʍ 'punoɹ ʎɐʍ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ ןןɐ s,ʇı
  • JordyWordyJordyWordy Posts: 2,261
    soulsinging wrote:
    yeah, people drag it out becos they keep telling themselves maybe they can work things out. it usually isn't until they meet someone that gets that spark going again that they realize it can't be worked out or it's not worth working out and gives them the push/courage to leave. it sucks to be on the losing end of that.

    it does definitely suck but its also a great lesson to learn: what you do want and what you dont want in relationships. once u get that spark back with someone else it rocks. and even if you dont being single definitely has its perks too.

    also becoming single magically fixes that hole in your wallet where all your money seemed to disappear to
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