Closer to finding myself
musicismylife78
Posts: 6,116
Awhile back I posted a thread about how I was struggling to find myself and my calling. I have made some strides since those hectic and stress filled days, months ago.
In a rolling stone article I read yesterday about Bonnaroo, they talked about some 20 year old kid who made the trip from ohio and that the PJ set changed his life. He talked about how after Woodstock the attendees felt so awed they didnt know what to do with their lives. he felt the same way and was considering quitting his job to start a music venue. Its an incredible statement.
For me, music has been an integral part of my life since 1991. I have made it clear on this board I am in the process of finding myself. But lately, music has become almost a love of mine. It is what i think about. When I not at a show I am thinking of it. I get that feeling of purpose at concerts. Its that feeling of finding myself. I have found my purpose. I feel it. I feel sick and my stomach hurts when i am not at shows. My heart sings when i am finally at the shows.
Its like I found my calling, however now comes the hard part of figuring out in what capacity I will be able to make a living in it. Do i want to be in a band? Do I want to be staff at a music venue? Do I want to start my own? Do I want to run a label?
Just wanted to post and say I wasnt as lost and confused as before. Still dont know what to do next, but its like slowly but surely the pieces have started to meld.
In a rolling stone article I read yesterday about Bonnaroo, they talked about some 20 year old kid who made the trip from ohio and that the PJ set changed his life. He talked about how after Woodstock the attendees felt so awed they didnt know what to do with their lives. he felt the same way and was considering quitting his job to start a music venue. Its an incredible statement.
For me, music has been an integral part of my life since 1991. I have made it clear on this board I am in the process of finding myself. But lately, music has become almost a love of mine. It is what i think about. When I not at a show I am thinking of it. I get that feeling of purpose at concerts. Its that feeling of finding myself. I have found my purpose. I feel it. I feel sick and my stomach hurts when i am not at shows. My heart sings when i am finally at the shows.
Its like I found my calling, however now comes the hard part of figuring out in what capacity I will be able to make a living in it. Do i want to be in a band? Do I want to be staff at a music venue? Do I want to start my own? Do I want to run a label?
Just wanted to post and say I wasnt as lost and confused as before. Still dont know what to do next, but its like slowly but surely the pieces have started to meld.
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Working a show, and watching (experiencing) a show are two totally different things, and once your mind gets into the working perspective of a show, you can't turn it off. When I go to concerts now, I am distracted from the show looking at how the production is set up, how security is doing, how the layout of the venue could be improved, etc.
I get done working (box office) about halfway through the show, and years ago I would stick around after and watch the show... Now, unless it someone that I truly love, I'll catch one song and leave.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job, and enjoy the business that I am in, but it will completely ruin the romanticism that you currently have as a fan.
edit - reading over my post, it comes off as very discouraging to what you believe to be your calling in life. Please don't let me throw a wet blanket on your dreams, but I did want to bring up something that you may not have thought about. Good luck...
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
I think it's great you are on your way to doing what you love.
Just wanted to throw something out there though if you hit a speedbump.
You are not, nor ever will be "what you do". "What you do for a living" does not define anyone. We, as a whole, are much deeper than any role assigned to us. If you continue to search for a role, I don't think you will ever be truly happy. Because they can be very evasive, even when you get to where you originally intended.
Just be who you are. Listen to Bee Girl. N just be. Be the guy who loves concerts. Who loves attending shows. WHo loves music. Should you try to make a career out of it, if you can? F YEA! You def. should! But, remember that you could be a janitor and still be that guy. The janitor title is just a role. It's not who you are.
Good luck, bro.
My husband is a sound guy and he works with bands, lives on tour buses, is on the road for more than 6 months of the year and loves what he does. Having said that, he used to be a huge music fan, just like me, but now I have to beg him to come to live shows with me because he is just so jaded about the whole thing. He says he just can't enjoy watching a show from an audience perspective anymore. We went to Bonnaroo and the only things he really enjoyed were the Metallica and Pearl Jam shows. He only went because he didn't want me to go alone.
I don't really know what to suggest for you. Music has also been my passion since I was a child (my Dad worked at a radio station). I have had those feelings that I should be in the industry somehow, but have never been able to figure out what or how. So instead, I listen to music for 12+ hours a day and go to as many live shows as I can afford or make time for. And I am ok with that. I do have the cool perk of my husband knowing people, so occasional free tickets, free merch, or back stage passes sometimes happen, but not often, because he doesn't like to bother people for favors.
Good luck in your quest
Regarding figuring out in what capacity you should be involved in music, the people I know with the same passion are in a band AND work at a venue AND own a venue AND run a label. (And maybe still work at a grocery store.)
I think it depends to some extent on the size of your town too, and the size of your ambition. I mean, do you want to be one of the main musicians/promotors/club owners in your town? Or do you want to be one of the many, many people involved in music on a national level? Are you content to be involved in music if you'll never be famous? Is there a good music scene in your town? If not, is there room for you to create one? I guess my point is, there are SO many different ways to be involved in music (and on so many different levels), and you don't have to pick just one.
Good luck! Let us know how it all turns out.
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
*ahem* cough cough
Seriously though I think life is constantly about finding one's self. It really is a journey!!
i'm like that with sex.... but it doesn't mean i'll become a porn star.
you think too much.
EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
I guess that makes it easier to find yourself
Weird I happen to sleep in my birthday suit