why is growing up so painful?
musicismylife78
Posts: 6,116
I think finding oneself, to fully engage in discovering yourself is a wonderful thing, or it can be. As Ed said “this love has no ceiling”. He was referring to just that. It can be liberating and life affirming to discover things. Certainly to be only 23, and have hopefully many years ahead to do many things and live many avenues of my life. To know that I haven’t figured and planned out my whole life yet is also somewhat liberating.
The flip side of it is the process of it all. You hear all the time people, older folks, our parents and grandparents say how great it would be to be young, or to be our age, to live in the 2000’s and be our age, to have the opportunities we have. But its hard as hell too. Modern society is a scary place, and the modern world and the wars, violence, death, and other things abound make it tough.
As I suggested In a previous thread, I have lived in my skin for 23 years and would have liked to say to myself and the world “I know myself well”, the truth is, I don’t know who I am. It’s a feeling I wish I could shake, but its like paint that wont come off no matter how hard you try and get it to come off. I don’t know who I am, and there is no book or movie or cd that provides such an answer.
Ed most likely didn’t mean it this way, but the Randall Island 1996(?) rant that went along the lines of “define yourself, and if you don’t know who you are, find out”, makes finding oneself seem simple, and easy. Its not like there is a handbook for it, if there was I would have read it already!
So back to my question, why is growing up and becoming an adult so painful, scary, and akin to riding along on a speeding train, that doesn’t have a driver? How can finding a purpose in life, finding yourself be so thrilling and life affirming, yet at the same time be so depressing and almost could make someone go mad, with all the uncertainty, the feeling of paralysis and not knowing what to do, the feelings of that your friends are out living there lives and you are stuck. Why does the transition from teenager to adult have to be so awful and scary?
The flip side of it is the process of it all. You hear all the time people, older folks, our parents and grandparents say how great it would be to be young, or to be our age, to live in the 2000’s and be our age, to have the opportunities we have. But its hard as hell too. Modern society is a scary place, and the modern world and the wars, violence, death, and other things abound make it tough.
As I suggested In a previous thread, I have lived in my skin for 23 years and would have liked to say to myself and the world “I know myself well”, the truth is, I don’t know who I am. It’s a feeling I wish I could shake, but its like paint that wont come off no matter how hard you try and get it to come off. I don’t know who I am, and there is no book or movie or cd that provides such an answer.
Ed most likely didn’t mean it this way, but the Randall Island 1996(?) rant that went along the lines of “define yourself, and if you don’t know who you are, find out”, makes finding oneself seem simple, and easy. Its not like there is a handbook for it, if there was I would have read it already!
So back to my question, why is growing up and becoming an adult so painful, scary, and akin to riding along on a speeding train, that doesn’t have a driver? How can finding a purpose in life, finding yourself be so thrilling and life affirming, yet at the same time be so depressing and almost could make someone go mad, with all the uncertainty, the feeling of paralysis and not knowing what to do, the feelings of that your friends are out living there lives and you are stuck. Why does the transition from teenager to adult have to be so awful and scary?
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I don't have an answer to your question but I am 24 and am having the same problems you find yourself having (as I discussed in another thread). I think it's part of growing up. I think that when we get older we become not only more curious with what is going on around us but we also want to know what is going on inside us. I have had the problem of finding some things about myself that I don't really like, and that changing them isn't as easy as just flipping a switch. I think that is the scariest part of growing up.
I think when we were younger we had no clue what it was like to be old. We all just assumed we would grow up and make plenty of money and friends playing baseball or being an astronaut. But as you get older (especially after college or whatever) you find out that being grown up isn't what you dreamed it was. I think there are alot of things I will grow to cherish about being older like having a family of my own, things like that; but right now those things seem too far in the future for me to grasp.
I don't know if this even relates to your question but that is how I feel about it
fuck, i've always wanted to be grown up, i hated to be looked down upon and not listened to my opinions when i was a kid. i wanted to be free to do what the hell i want to do.
I do find responsibility and independence a bit stressful but i love it! haha, i'm not really doing what i want because my job is not someting i want to do, but my job is not my priority right now....my priority is to stay in a job for more than a year, get better friends, move out of my shit hole....and all these things only i can do, only i can change! it's challenging but i'm up for it!
ignorance is bliss
once you are aware, you can be overwhelmed with conciousness
Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga
nah, to me it's like having a holiday. peace and quiet at last.
worst part in growing up is learning how shitty people are towards each other....and it all actually starts in school....
Perfectly stated. It's like taking the Red Pill.
Ft Lauderdale '96:::West Palm Beach '98:::Tampa '00:::Tampa '03:::Camden 1&2 '06::: DC '06:::West Palm Beach '08:::Tampa '08:::Columbia '08:::Virginia Beach '08
it's corny, but roll with the punches and live day to day.
exactly and make your life long desicions on a day after watching Interstate 60 that's what i did haha....quit my job and dumped my boyfriend! :eek:
oh i totally forgot that, yeah those uncertainties, will they grow to a C cup or stay flat?...................
The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill
A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
Why? It's simply Ego. There's a small spark of realization inside that all of "this" is an illusion. All the things your parents and society told you about yourself are just an illusion. The story you wrote for yourself..... I am that, I am this, everything you identify yourself with, you begin to question. If you're lucky, you start to see through the veil, you become aware that you are much more than "this", and that so much of what we surround ourselves with is meaningless.
A really great book that might help with this transition, "The Power of Now", by Eckhart Tolle. It really put things into perspective for me and led me down a path that I am continuing on. It might speak to you too.
Part of growing up is learning from your mistakes. You Live. You Learn. Try not to look at the transitions in life as "awful and scary", instead embrace challenges and move forward. Change is not always easy. Change can be uncomfortable and part of attaining personal freedom is getting out of your comfort zone and getting through what doesn't feel normal.
hehehehehehehe...................
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
doing great but it is hard work keeping my cheeks sweet!
:cool:
and how are you doing? are you making a trip Cali for a concert?????
hard work keeping your cheeks sweet??? hehehehehehe
i will be in los angeles for the second show.....
dump that man of yours and ill take you with.....hehehehehehehehehehe
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
SO hard to turn down that offer Speedy!
....but that man is taking me to San Diego and because he knows how much I love Pearl Jam, we have unbelievable seats at the concert. Life is rough!