I am truly sorry for your great loss. I am also sorry about how your mother and father are acting....just too f**ked for words. This may go beyond normal trying to cope feelings after a huge loss. You may want to find a pet loss group, or seek some counseling for grief. Some losses are harder for us to process, especially when their are other issues to deal with besides the loss. Please take good care of yourself. One day at a time. When you feel better, don't deny yourself the love of another pet, there is always one out there who needs you.
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
oh brain of c.!!!!! If I am ill and in bed, all my five cats are cuddled up on the bed with me and only get up for food and nature's calls! They don't go out or anything, just stay on the bed. Gonna have to think twice about that now that I've read that article... :eek:
oh brain of c.!!!!! If I am ill and in bed, all my five cats are cuddled up on the bed with me and only get up for food and nature's calls! They don't go out or anything, just stay on the bed. Gonna have to think twice about that now that I've read that article... :eek:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get it now, get enough, before its gone, let's everybody carry on, carry on....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.wishlistfoundation.org
WE WANT YOU!!!!
join the street team http://wishlistfoundation.fancorps.com
"headphones are highly recommended...." Jeff Ament
But back to the vet thing... Would a vet actually do this? Somewhere I've heard that they will put healthy cats down if the owner requests it... Somewhere else I've heard that they won't. And who is to say that she really, honestly, took my dear cat to the vet? I don't want to think this way, but what if she just killed him herself? My god...
The vet WILL put down an elderly animal. I've had to do it twice in the last two years. One was a 17 year old GSH Pointer who had lost all control of his bladder and bowels. It got to the point that he would walk and poop and pee would come out of him, then he would pace in it and fall down and not be able to get up. To all who knew him, he looked fantastic, was still eating and healthy. We tried Doggie Diapers, but they were too heavy for his frail old frame, and he would fall over just walking in them. So we had to take him, and it was not an easy thing to do. But our quality of life was gone due to constant pee and poop everywhere. We tried for a year to live with it. The other dog was my moms 16.5 year old Jack Russel Terrier. She was completely gone mentally, starting to mess in the house, and just looked so sad, tail under her legs all the time, seemed like she was in pain. She had no quality of life left. Two different vets put these dogs down, no questions asked. They knew they were old.
Again I am so sorry. You will have to let this all go....sounds like you will never get any answers out of your mom, you will have to make some peace with the situation. If she did indeed put the cat to sleep, it is a very peaceful way to go. I've held 5 animals in the last two years as they left, only one was in horrible pain when he went out.
The best to you.
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
I was so angry today that I was shaking, trying hard not to explode... I felt like I seriously could have destroyed someone, a person... her. But I didn't. I just silently walked away. I hope that will be damage enough.
She will not recieve phonecalls.
She will not have holidays.
She will not even see me. Ever.
Or our children, when we have them.
Unfortunately with this, I also have to cut ties with the rest of my family and that is really fucking with me... You can't just stop loving people. But my whole family is so naive with her... I can't ever make them see her for who she really is... And they slowly all become her. What am I to do? I have to walk away from it all...
This just isn't about a cat anymore... It's so much more... And I hate it. This is supposed to be the best time of my life...
I just got married... I'm out on my own... I've got amazing friends for once... I'm going to see Pearl Jam at the fucking VIC theater next week AND Lollapalooza... And then this shit happens!? She does have perfect timing to make everything in my life unhappy and the most inappropriate times...
To hell with her.
why are you going to cut ties with the rest of your family because of her meanness and lack of caring for you or the cat? your parents made the bad decision, what's the aunts or cousins got to do with it? I wouldn't cut my ties, just my opinion. I would try to avoid the subject to the rest of the family.
I realize you are newly wed, but you may need your family (not her) in the future. I hate to see families divided or children not knowing their relatives.
when you were growing up, did she seem like she liked cats or just tolerated them/it because it was your pet?
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
without telling your mom, I'd go back and look around the neighborhood for it.
It costs $60 or more (I think) for the vet to put the animal to sleep. She may have dumped it off somewhere in the neighborhood or just let him out.
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
And who is to say that she really, honestly, took my dear cat to the vet? I don't want to think this way, but what if she just killed him herself? My god...
Stop it! You're torturing yourself! Try to get those thoughts out of your mind! :( Try focussing on your happiness with your new husband....
PJaddicted.. putting an elderly AND unwell animal is not the same as putting down an elderly but otherwise healthy and fit animal.... I had to put down two of my very old cats... they were completely losing it and therefore very unhappy and depressed.
This is what I don't understand... And sadly, I'll never know how it really went down because my mother lies so much... About every little thing imagineable. I don't even know how my childhood really went because of her... All I have are these clogged up thoughts and memories that I can't quite put together without the help of someone who will tell me the actual truth because some pieces just don't fit....
First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss - a beloved pet is an angel on earth as far as I'm concerned. Some living thing to love you uncondtionally through all the tribulations and joy in life.
Your story really hit home for me for so many reasons in my life that I won't get in to here but I see once again she caused you extreme pain where you should be happy, with a new husband and all. She robbed you of your memories as a child and now she wants to control you through other means. The fact they wouldn't give you Cateeto but chose to put him down is truly disturbing. She obviously suffers from mental illness of some kind but I think you're on the right track to gaining control over your life from her. It is something really hard to do but it is possible.
Again so sad :(
I like that your husband board name is Mr Cateeto.
"Speak your mind even if your voice shakes" ~ M Kuhn
Stop it! You're torturing yourself! Try to get those thoughts out of your mind! :( Try focussing on your happiness with your new husband....
PJaddicted.. putting an elderly AND unwell animal is not the same as putting down an elderly but otherwise healthy and fit animal.... I had to put down two of my very old cats... they were completely losing it and therefore very unhappy and depressed.
I know. I was just sharing my stories....maybe her cat was worse off then she knew and her mother wasn't the monster we are all thinking she is.
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
oh god, i am so sorry. having had to put my cat down last year, even when she was clearly at the end was still one of the most painful things i had ever done....even though i've experienced it with other pets.
as for your mom, i just don't get it either. people can be so strange. it's sad.
If you are sure of these things....you do need to separate from her. And if you choose to have a relationship....make it on your terms and don't feed into her crazy behavior.
I am much older then you and the best advice I can offer now...is to process this and then let it go. Holding on to the anger you have will destroy you. You did all you could for the cat, you loved it totally for a whole lifetime. What your mother did is morally wrong, she will pay for it in the end. You need to move on and forward into your new life with your hubby. Don't let this ruin this special time of being newly married and in love. You don't ever get those days back. Mourn for your beloved buddy, but walk away from the anger at your mother and family as soon as you can. Know that your mother must be mentally ill, that she really is not in touch with reality.
Peace be with you.
Carol
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
If you are sure of these things....you do need to separate from her. And if you choose to have a relationship....make it on your terms and don't feed into her crazy behavior.
I am much older then you and the best advice I can offer now...is to process this and then let it go. Holding on to the anger you have will destroy you. You did all you could for the cat, you loved it totally for a whole lifetime. What your mother did is morally wrong, she will pay for it in the end. You need to move on and forward into your new life with your hubby. Don't let this ruin this special time of being newly married and in love. You don't ever get those days back. Mourn for your beloved buddy, but walk away from the anger at your mother and family as soon as you can. Know that your mother must be mentally ill, that she really is not in touch with reality.
Peace be with you.
Carol
aw, you are a very cool lady. your advice reminds me of my sister
9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Good for you. I found out that I could not live without a cat when I had to put our 18 year old down. I was going to give myself some time, but only lasted 4 days-lol. It's different for everyone though, so I'd never suggest it. I'm still very sorry about what happened. That shouldn't ever happen to anyone, but I can see you'll be fine with your positive attitude. Best wishes to you, your hubby and your new addition.
"I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
Kate, this is phsyco!!!! :eek:
I always got the impression from you what your mum was like, but she has completely taken it to another level!!
take the power back my friend, cut the ties and free yourself.
No one wants this negativity.
R.I.P Cateeto, I only ever saw a photo but he looked like such a champion.
t
I know what its like to have a cat murdered, and my thoughs are with you and Jon xxoo
Welcome to the monkey kitty
"....and was very surprised to see that he didnt actually have a recipe for anus-ankle soup." - Big Ed
I can't keep dwelling on the badness that is in my life. Someone said already, it's time to enjoy what I have going on here.
1. I just got married to the love of my life. It's a fresh start and we're doing it together. Awesome.
2. We just added a kitty to our family. It's not my old friend, but it's a new friend and she is most definitely going to be our baby for a good, long while. We won't EVER let any harm come to her.
3. I'm going to have an awesome upcoming weekend with Pearl Jam!
4. I have amazing friends who will support me through this loss and will be happy for me for whatever comes my way... As shown here especially...
Thank all of you for being amazing people and really, I wish I could just see every one of you in person and thank you for your awesomeness. You are great and I hope to always have contact with you. Thank you so much for being with me.
You just figured it all out.....and did FANTASTIC! You will not be sorry having adopted a new furry baby that needs YOU!
The best to you, hubby and your new baby!
One day at a time with your family, and be sure to put up boundaries that are non negotiable. You can still see them, but on your terms.
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Yay, new kitty!!! Polaris Monkey is an awesome name, all sorts of fun nicknames can roll out of that. Congrats!
RIP Cateeto
Walking can be a real trip
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
So sorry to hear this, go out and get yourself another little kitty rightaway (sounds like you did). He/she wont replace Cateeto but will get your mind off of him.
Take care. I sure aint looking forward to when jasper goes. There was a big rainstorm and thunder storm here last night and guess who got scared and jumped up on the bed with me? He was cuddling close too. When I got up his nose was in my face and I was forced to give him good morning nose kisses.
>>>>
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
Comments
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Apart from your mother's actions, what I can't understand is the vet putting down a healthy (albeit old) animal which had a home. That is very wrong.
http://www.myspace.com/brain_of_c
i know. creepy.
http://www.myspace.com/brain_of_c
http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599947572
~Wild is my love~
i'm so sorry to hear this
Get it now, get enough, before its gone, let's everybody carry on, carry on....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.wishlistfoundation.org
WE WANT YOU!!!!
join the street team
http://wishlistfoundation.fancorps.com
"headphones are highly recommended...." Jeff Ament
The vet WILL put down an elderly animal. I've had to do it twice in the last two years. One was a 17 year old GSH Pointer who had lost all control of his bladder and bowels. It got to the point that he would walk and poop and pee would come out of him, then he would pace in it and fall down and not be able to get up. To all who knew him, he looked fantastic, was still eating and healthy. We tried Doggie Diapers, but they were too heavy for his frail old frame, and he would fall over just walking in them. So we had to take him, and it was not an easy thing to do. But our quality of life was gone due to constant pee and poop everywhere. We tried for a year to live with it. The other dog was my moms 16.5 year old Jack Russel Terrier. She was completely gone mentally, starting to mess in the house, and just looked so sad, tail under her legs all the time, seemed like she was in pain. She had no quality of life left. Two different vets put these dogs down, no questions asked. They knew they were old.
Again I am so sorry. You will have to let this all go....sounds like you will never get any answers out of your mom, you will have to make some peace with the situation. If she did indeed put the cat to sleep, it is a very peaceful way to go. I've held 5 animals in the last two years as they left, only one was in horrible pain when he went out.
The best to you.
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
why are you going to cut ties with the rest of your family because of her meanness and lack of caring for you or the cat? your parents made the bad decision, what's the aunts or cousins got to do with it? I wouldn't cut my ties, just my opinion. I would try to avoid the subject to the rest of the family.
I realize you are newly wed, but you may need your family (not her) in the future. I hate to see families divided or children not knowing their relatives.
when you were growing up, did she seem like she liked cats or just tolerated them/it because it was your pet?
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
without telling your mom, I'd go back and look around the neighborhood for it.
It costs $60 or more (I think) for the vet to put the animal to sleep. She may have dumped it off somewhere in the neighborhood or just let him out.
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
Stop it! You're torturing yourself! Try to get those thoughts out of your mind! :( Try focussing on your happiness with your new husband....
PJaddicted.. putting an elderly AND unwell animal is not the same as putting down an elderly but otherwise healthy and fit animal.... I had to put down two of my very old cats... they were completely losing it and therefore very unhappy and depressed.
First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss - a beloved pet is an angel on earth as far as I'm concerned. Some living thing to love you uncondtionally through all the tribulations and joy in life.
Your story really hit home for me for so many reasons in my life that I won't get in to here but I see once again she caused you extreme pain where you should be happy, with a new husband and all. She robbed you of your memories as a child and now she wants to control you through other means. The fact they wouldn't give you Cateeto but chose to put him down is truly disturbing. She obviously suffers from mental illness of some kind but I think you're on the right track to gaining control over your life from her. It is something really hard to do but it is possible.
Again so sad :(
I like that your husband board name is Mr Cateeto.
I know. I was just sharing my stories....maybe her cat was worse off then she knew and her mother wasn't the monster we are all thinking she is.
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599947572
~Wild is my love~
http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599947572
~Wild is my love~
http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599947572
~Wild is my love~
http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599947572
~Wild is my love~
as for your mom, i just don't get it either. people can be so strange. it's sad.
i'm so sorry for your loss, much love to you.
I am much older then you and the best advice I can offer now...is to process this and then let it go. Holding on to the anger you have will destroy you. You did all you could for the cat, you loved it totally for a whole lifetime. What your mother did is morally wrong, she will pay for it in the end. You need to move on and forward into your new life with your hubby. Don't let this ruin this special time of being newly married and in love. You don't ever get those days back. Mourn for your beloved buddy, but walk away from the anger at your mother and family as soon as you can. Know that your mother must be mentally ill, that she really is not in touch with reality.
Peace be with you.
Carol
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
aw, you are a very cool lady. your advice reminds me of my sister
8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
10/10 - Brad in B'more
http://thriftstorenightmares.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599947572
~Wild is my love~
I always got the impression from you what your mum was like, but she has completely taken it to another level!!
take the power back my friend, cut the ties and free yourself.
No one wants this negativity.
R.I.P Cateeto, I only ever saw a photo but he looked like such a champion.
t
I know what its like to have a cat murdered, and my thoughs are with you and Jon xxoo
Welcome to the monkey kitty
You just figured it all out.....and did FANTASTIC! You will not be sorry having adopted a new furry baby that needs YOU!
The best to you, hubby and your new baby!
One day at a time with your family, and be sure to put up boundaries that are non negotiable. You can still see them, but on your terms.
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
RIP Cateeto
***********************
"We've laid the groundwork. It's like planting the seeds. And next year, it's spring." - Nader
***********************
Prepare for tending to your garden, America.
Take care. I sure aint looking forward to when jasper goes. There was a big rainstorm and thunder storm here last night and guess who got scared and jumped up on the bed with me? He was cuddling close too. When I got up his nose was in my face and I was forced to give him good morning nose kisses.
>
...a lover and a fighter.
"I'm at least half a bum" Rocky Balboa
http://www.videosift.com/video/Obamas-Message-To-American-Indians
Edmonton, AB. September 5th, 2005
Vancouver, BC. April 3rd, 2008
Calgary,AB. August 8th, 2009