old friends telling you they have always loved you...

justjoshingu

seriously. why?

i have a few friends that when we were in high school i was head over heels for. i actually got the courage to ask some of them out or tell them how i felt about them. they have known for a long time. but as the years pass, i have had more and more tell me that they really wanted to say yes to me in high school ,and they wished they had been with me instead of generic boyfriend 1 and 2.... one of them said she was in love with me back then, but i never pursued it. i told her i had and her response was "well not enough" seriously? i tried. and now she tells me after i got married. dont get me wrong, i'm not saying i wish she would have told me cause then i wouldnt have married my wife. i'm so grateful and thankful for her. what i am saying is that for so many years when i was younger, i felt i didnt have a shot and i felt lonely and un-special. it would have been nice to know that i coulda gotten the cheerleader. and on top of that, you dont get to all of a sudden be jealous of my wife, when you had a shot for years...years....

sorry i had to vent, but with the exeption of girls on this board, girls suck

Jeanie

justjoshingu wrote:

seriously. why?

i have a few friends that when we were in high school i was head over heels for. i actually got the courage to ask some of them out or tell them how i felt about them. they have known for a long time. but as the years pass, i have had more and more tell me that they really wanted to say yes to me in high school ,and they wished they had been with me instead of generic boyfriend 1 and 2.... one of them said she was in love with me back then, but i never pursued it. i told her i had and her response was "well not enough" seriously? i tried. and now she tells me after i got married. dont get me wrong, i'm not saying i wish she would have told me cause then i wouldnt have married my wife. i'm so grateful and thankful for her. what i am saying is that for so many years when i was younger, i felt i didnt have a shot and i felt lonely and un-special. it would have been nice to know that i coulda gotten the cheerleader. and on top of that, you dont get to all of a sudden be jealous of my wife, when you had a shot for years...years....

sorry i had to vent, but with the exeption of girls on this board, girls suck

Good thing you added that last bit!

Seriously though, high school, the teenage years, early 20s so many of us go through and haven't yet learned the skills we need to get through life. That's what that time is all about. It takes time to grow into ourselves I think. It's not till we do that we can understand others better. Who knows what the relevence is of her telling you all that now. It's a bitch I realize but fact is if you had got the cheerleader you probably wouldn't have the life you have now. You'd have got together, had fun for a while and then broken up and moved on. Not too many people marry their first love and live happily ever after.
I have no idea what I'm trying to say here really , other than, I'm glad you have your wife and don't let those icky young years ruin your time in the now.

zenith

everything happens for a reason - sometimes we just need hindsight to read it - and in your case maybe that hindsight is yet to come.

girls dont suck - we feel lonely and unspecial too - we think the boy we are great mates with might think we are joking if we ask him out - we think the guy who is so good looking will laugh at us - we wonder if we missed out, or if we made the right choices.

justjoshingu

i know ya'll are right. in high school though i was the shy one. i was nervous. it took everything i had to tell these girls anything. and really i dont have a real big problem with them telling me, but its just weird afterward and then its like, well, i'm married so i dont really know what you want me to do with that information. i love my friends. we went through so much together. they are family as much as my mom and dad and sisters are. so telling me now when i'm not gonna do anything about it just puts a weird tension on our friendship.

i guess my biggest point to all this, is to the people i see on here post about if they should tell someone how they feel. yes. tell them. if they tell you. tell them the truth. good or bad. dont wait or you lose out and will prolly lose out the right to complain about it.

a5pj

it's funny how that works, many of my friends that are girls always say that i'm good looking and a real nice guy which is rare, but that all girls like a-holes. So the moral of the story is that i'm pretty much screwed.

Jeanie

justjoshingu wrote:

i know ya'll are right. in high school though i was the shy one. i was nervous. it took everything i had to tell these girls anything. and really i dont have a real big problem with them telling me, but its just weird afterward and then its like, well, i'm married so i dont really know what you want me to do with that information. i love my friends. we went through so much together. they are family as much as my mom and dad and sisters are. so telling me now when i'm not gonna do anything about it just puts a weird tension on our friendship.

Well maybe the good thing about you knowing now is that you'll realize that how you feel, how you react to things, what you are thinking about yourself in a situation, it isn't the whole story. I probably make no sense. My point is I guess, how you perceive yourself isn't necessarily how others perceive you. So if you're wasting energy feeling down on yourself, holding back on who you are, picking on yourself, well it is just that, a waste of time and precious energy. If it makes you feel any better I went to school with a lot of guys and most of them treated me like I was a slut and there for their personal gratification. Not bad considering I was a virgin, didn't dress provocatively, and was just trying to be friends but stupidly I took on their view of me anyway. Held on to their view of my worthlessness for a lot of years. They were wrong, and I was wrong for believing their crap. For allowing their perception of me to colour how I saw myself. Took me a long time to learn that what they thought of me had nothing to do with me and more to do with how they saw themselves. I guess the thing to learn from this is, despite being shy and nervous some people that you care about thought you were pretty damn cool too. That's a pretty good thing to know really, married or not, wouldn't you say?

justjoshingu wrote:

i guess my biggest point to all this, is to the people i see on here post about if they should tell someone how they feel. yes. tell them. if they tell you. tell them the truth. good or bad. dont wait or you lose out and will prolly lose out the right to complain about it.

Telling people the truth about how you feel and who you are, you don't always win with that either, but at least you are being true to yourself and that's the most important thing, I believe.