Can you be void of feelings??????

given2fly78

I know it sounds crazy, but do you think you can get to a point where you focus on something (in my case work) where other shit just doesn't matter? Like, you don't have feelings for anything else? Of course, I still love my family and husband but I've become very distanced.....

So I tend to wonder, have I become void of feelings? So focused and dedicated that nothing else matters? I'm not sure it even bothers me.

A phase? Will I just snap out of it? Or is this the beginning of a new chapter of my life?

GraySaturday

I totally believe this can happen. It happened to me, and it turned out to be a phase. I don't know how your feelings will pan out, but I whole heartedly believe this can happen to people.

justam

What kind of work do you do? I think people get over-loaded and numb sometimes. I don't think it is positive...

zenith

could you also define it as obsession??

of course at points in your life you feel so completley focused on something/someone/some issue, whatever - it all passes, and your find yourself looking back wondering why it mattered or why you got so worried about it, or why you cared - its just gone - like a road hump we all have them

but work - now how's the saying go - we work to live, not live to work. Work is a means to enjoy good things, perhaps better things - but its not the only thing, far from it.
go listen to eddie, society

rvp

this can happen but please snap out it as soon as possible!! there is no time to be void!!

given2fly78

Obsession....good point!

But could it also be a turning point for me? Maybe a spot in my life where I am realizing deep down that some of the other things around me aren't really what I want if I can let something (like work for instance) become my "passion" maybe?

The worst part is, when I think of it as a phase and that it will pass - it kind of scares me. Maybe a way of avoiding something?

Or is this typical for career focused people? Is there a point where you have to distance yourself in order to reach your goals?

markymark550

Yes I think you can be void of feelings.

Look at serial killers (I know it's a drastic leap from where you are), but I would think you would most definitely have to be void of feelings to continuously murder people.

given2fly78

markymark550 wrote:

Yes I think you can be void of feelings.

Look at serial killers (I know it's a drastic leap from where you are), but I would think you would most definitely have to be void of feelings to continuously murder people.

Yes, I'm definately no serial killer. I remember to this day the moment I hit a toad on the road (probably 13 years ago now) I bawled like a baby. I still would. I'm not like THAT!

I'm just saying does there come a point where it feels like nothing matters other than one particular focus? Can you get wrapped up in something so much that you lose sight of everything else around you?

zenith

given2fly78 wrote:

Obsession....good point!

But could it also be a turning point for me? Maybe a spot in my life where I am realizing deep down that some of the other things around me aren't really what I want if I can let something (like work for instance) become my "passion" maybe?

The worst part is, when I think of it as a phase and that it will pass - it kind of scares me. Maybe a way of avoiding something?

Or is this typical for career focused people? Is there a point where you have to distance yourself in order to reach your goals?

now, i dont understand 'career focused people' i realise what they are of course, but not what motivates that.

at the end of the day do you want your workmates to look back on the magnificent contribution you made to their company? would they?? or would you be just another payroll # after you were gone
or do you want your children and family to remember all the great times you shared with them - things you did, funny things you said - or the things you missed...

please dont take offence, im not implying that your neglectful, or anything like that.
but i look at life as a bit of a learning journey. and you learn from people - not from a career. you can be rewarded by a career, sure - but by the people that it brings you into contact with. and a job should never ever become the whole focus of your life - not unless you want to die a very lonely person one day.

perhaps you need to really look at your goals. are they your goals?? really yours - or just what you think you should be aiming for to be a part of what was expected of you, or what the family up the road has.
or did you do other things - marriage/family - because you thought it was right and what you wanted - and now wonder if that was what you really wanted after all.

??

anyway - again, no offence meant at all for any of this. Have a good long look into yourself and what you really want - you - not what you think others expect you to do, or want. and if things need changing change them. they wont go away otherwise. they might lie down, but you wont be happy.

brain of c

start drinking heavily.

Jeremy1012

I can't do this. Sometimes I actually CAN'T work because I'm too caught up in my thoughts. I over-analyse things way to much, to the point where I can get pretty depressed if things are going bad.

covered in bliss

Feeling numb and not feeling anything are symptoms of co-depependency.

aLthough it's not exactly "normal" to feel that way... feeling that way is the 'norm' in our society and very common.

Go to your local bookstore and look in the Psychology/Self-Help section. Something will catch your eye and you should buy it.

Good luck!

given2fly78

zenith wrote:

now, i dont understand 'career focused people' i realise what they are of course, but not what motivates that.

at the end of the day do you want your workmates to look back on the magnificent contribution you made to their company? would they?? or would you be just another payroll # after you were gone
or do you want your children and family to remember all the great times you shared with them - things you did, funny things you said - or the things you missed...

please dont take offence, im not implying that your neglectful, or anything like that.
but i look at life as a bit of a learning journey. and you learn from people - not from a career. you can be rewarded by a career, sure - but by the people that it brings you into contact with. and a job should never ever become the whole focus of your life - not unless you want to die a very lonely person one day.

perhaps you need to really look at your goals. are they your goals?? really yours - or just what you think you should be aiming for to be a part of what was expected of you, or what the family up the road has.
or did you do other things - marriage/family - because you thought it was right and what you wanted - and now wonder if that was what you really wanted after all.

??

anyway - again, no offence meant at all for any of this. Have a good long look into yourself and what you really want - you - not what you think others expect you to do, or want. and if things need changing change them. they wont go away otherwise. they might lie down, but you wont be happy.

No offense taken!

I guess it's a sense of ambition, accomplishment, power, control. I'm a woman in a male dominated environment and the fact that I spank their production month after month just gives me a sheer feeling of pleasure that can't be beat by any drink, joint or anything else you could imagine.

And the fact that I can laugh with these guys and hang out and still be friends with them - that we're all in the same boat - that they see me as an equal - is just undescribable.

At first, the 12 hour days bugged me. I got tired. But I got used to it. And eventually, it gets to the point where you don't want to be anywhere else. It's an addiction almost. I'm addicted to my phone, my computer, email, files, clients, CNBC & Bloomberg.

It's not even about the money believe it or not. That almost becomes secondary after a point. I have no children. Nobody to support but myself. I want to retire by 50. Eye on the prize I say.

Everyone asks if I want kids and the thought just gives me toilet shivers. Not just because of the work aspect, but because of other things. I won't get into that. Not for me.

Maybe it's not void of feelings, just like someone else said "obsessed". Or addicted.

Glad I typed myself through that! But again, no offense taken. I see your point. Thanks!

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Without getting into specifics, I'll just say that totally focusing on one thing like that makes you unbalanced. And at some point, that will catch up with you.

And I can't count the number of times I've heard people over 50 say "I wish I had more fun when I was younger". Think about why you really want to retire at 50.

dunkman

i'm not saying this is what you have as i simply dont know you... but i watched this great documentary about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder once.. it was fascinating

luvisatower

No time to be void,... or save up on life...
You got to spend it all.....