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Promise Ring - Scam or not?

given2fly78given2fly78 Posts: 404
edited December 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
My friend's girlfriends wants a promise ring for Christmas. When he ponied up that tidbit of info, I burst out laughing. I had to pry it out of him, but once it was out I got to thinking....

Scam or not?

I personally think if someone gave me a promise ring, I promise I'd deliver a knuckle sandwich. Seriously though? Is this shit cooked up by DeBeers or what?

A pre-engagement ring? I promise at some point I'll ask you to marry me? I promise to be your boyfriend? I promise you I'm broke so I'll just give you this puppy to hold you over?

How many symbols can we put on relationships? 2/3rds of the time my hubby can't find his wedding band LOL! I can honestly say it doesn't bother me one bit. Not a drop! I don't even wear my wedding band or engagement rings all the time. Not because I'm trying to hide something, but because I forget, or my hands are cold and they might slide off, ect.

Is it insecurity? This promise ring? Am I just out of the loop on something? Or am I laughing at something that is serious. Did I miss out on something?
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. "
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

I saw Hard To Imagine LIVE at MSG!
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Comments

  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    I thought a promise ring was when a girl promises her father she won't have sex unless she gets married.
  • small town becksmall town beck Posts: 6,691
    I have heard of a promise ring but I figure it is mostly for naive young girls who seriously believe that this is the guy they will be with for the rest of their lives. I don't get all into that stuff..
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Sounds like a load of bollocks to me.
  • facepollutionfacepollution Posts: 6,834
    It always makes me laugh when people get engaged, yet have no urge to even think about setting a date for a wedding - what's the bloody point in that?! Anyone can hand over a ring and agree to get married in principle, how that is supposed to show any real level of commitment is totally beyond me.....

    A promise ring sounds even more ridiculous!
  • given2fly78given2fly78 Posts: 404
    small town beck wrote:
    I have heard of a promise ring but I figure it is mostly for naive young girls who seriously believe that this is the guy they will be with for the rest of their lives. I don't get all into that stuff..

    Weird thing is, she's 29!

    Maybe it's because she's been engaged before? Itching to get married?

    I kind of think that he is in nooooo hurry either. He's 26. IMO, they are not compatible. But that's just my opinion.

    I just find the whole concept of a "promise ring" silly. And, if I had a promise ring in no way would I EVER tell someone it's a promise ring. I would find that kind of embarassing.
    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. "
    Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

    I saw Hard To Imagine LIVE at MSG!
  • even flow?even flow? Posts: 8,066
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I thought a promise ring was when a girl promises her father she won't have sex unless she gets married.


    That my dear is called a chastity belt. ;)
    You've changed your place in this world!
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I thought a promise ring was when a girl promises her father she won't have sex unless she gets married.


    nope, that is a Purity Ring...and sometimes it is called a "waiting ring"


    I could add something really snide here - but I didn't sleep well last night...


    by the way the promise ring thing is a total crock of crap! because after that, then there is the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and apparently you are supposed to demand another rock when you manage to make it past a 5 year mark...unless of course, you have squeezed out some chil'rens...then each child should entitle you to a "mommy rock" usually in the shape of a child pendant with a diamond for a stomach. or you can actually get the anniversary charm bracelet, and have your sap fill it each year with baubles...birthday, anniversary, valentines day, first day you met, first day you gave it up in the 7/11 parking lot...first time you did the three way with the goat...oh, there we go, snide and irreverent is back! YES!

    :D
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    given2fly78 wrote:
    My friend's girlfriends wants a promise ring for Christmas. When he ponied up that tidbit of info, I burst out laughing. I had to pry it out of him, but once it was out I got to thinking....

    Scam or not?

    I personally think if someone gave me a promise ring, I promise I'd deliver a knuckle sandwich. Seriously though? Is this shit cooked up by DeBeers or what?

    A pre-engagement ring? I promise at some point I'll ask you to marry me? I promise to be your boyfriend? I promise you I'm broke so I'll just give you this puppy to hold you over?

    How many symbols can we put on relationships? 2/3rds of the time my hubby can't find his wedding band LOL! I can honestly say it doesn't bother me one bit. Not a drop! I don't even wear my wedding band or engagement rings all the time. Not because I'm trying to hide something, but because I forget, or my hands are cold and they might slide off, ect.

    Is it insecurity? This promise ring? Am I just out of the loop on something? Or am I laughing at something that is serious. Did I miss out on something?

    I always thought promise rings were for high school kids that were too young to get engaged. However, I have heard of adults getting them, and I think it's ridiculous. ;)
  • GraySaturdayGraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    I honestly think a promise ring is such a sad concept. I think being engaged is sorta a weird concept too. I have a friend who has been engaged for years. She hasn't started planning the wedding yet. At 29? Yeah I dont think I'd be looking for a promise ring. Sounds like a case of the wedding bug.
  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    GraySaturday wrote:
    Sounds like a case of the wedding bug.

    Exactly...

    People get anxious for that next step...and they want a ring to go with it.

    I never understand a really long engagement. I understand that the engagement period is to be spent considering whether or not you want to make the committment of marriage. However, if it takes years and years to consider whether or not you want to marry someone, you should probably not do it.
  • DerrickDerrick Posts: 475
    Promise rings are usually inexpensive and popular for young couples who can't afford the engagement ring they want yet. I think it's a retarded concept but I don't want to pass judgment on those who don't make that much money...or are in college still, or whatever.
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Derrick wrote:
    Promise rings are usually inexpensive and popular for young couples who can't afford the engagement ring they want yet. I think it's a retarded concept but I don't want to pass judgment on those who don't make that much money...or are in college still, or whatever.

    um, wouldn't it be cheaper not to get a ring at all? you can still get "engaged" if you can't afford the ring. I don't think this promise ring thing is a cheaper substitute for the engagement ring, I think it is a symbol of some sort of "pre-engagement." What the hell a "pre-engagement" is is anyone's guess.
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    given2fly78 wrote:
    Weird thing is, she's 29!

    Maybe it's because she's been engaged before? Itching to get married?

    does she think that having a "promise ring" is the same as getting the actual promise? is it a binding contract? :)
  • orig_long redorig_long red Posts: 2,029
    all symbols of love are scams.
    Jam out with your clam out.
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I always thought promise rings were for high school kids that were too young to get engaged. However, I have heard of adults getting them, and I think it's ridiculous. ;)

    totally agree... a 16 year old who gets a promise ring from her boyfriend to promise to be together forever is stupid, but I guess at that age it makes sense.... at 29, it's just plain retarded.

    I promise to consider asking you to marry me at some point later once I make up my mind or run out of other options???

    Knowing nothing else about that girl, but I would run from that one... she has some issues.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • BridgeBitchBridgeBitch Posts: 87
    A promise ring is a ring that is indicating a serious promise made to oneself or another. It may be given to a romantic partner to signify a commitment to a monogamous relationship, without a more lasting bond such as marriage. Lovers mostly exchange promise rings to indicate their commitment to the relationship they have.

    Promise rings are bestowed to symbolize a promise that one person makes to another. In some cases, promise rings are precursors to engagement rings. While the latter symbolize a promise to marry, promise rings can stand for many other kinds of vows.

    Promise rings can mean: "I will be faithful to you"
    Promise rings can mean: "I will return to you"
    Promise rings can mean: "I will keep you in my heart always"
    Promise rings can mean: "My intention is to marry you one day"
    Promise rings can mean: "We are best friends"
    Promise rings can mean: "I will always be there for you"
    Promise rings can mean: "I love you"
    Promise rings can mean: "I will stay chaste until marriage"
    Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promise_ring"


    I personally have no issue with promise rings. If someone wants to give someone else a token of feeling why is that "retarded"?
    "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

    10/21/06 & 10/22/06 (Bridge Shows)
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    It sounds like something children in high school might get, but not adults! :p
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    lol

    I guess she wants proof they are going "steady"
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
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  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    BridgeBitch wrote:
    I personally have no issue with promise rings. If someone wants to give someone else a token of feeling why is that "retarded"?

    Someone giving a gift as a token of his/her feelings isn't retarded, but a 29 year old woman wanting a promise ring from their boyfriend to someone verify his feelings or the relationship, is retarded in my opinion.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • BridgeBitchBridgeBitch Posts: 87
    blackredyellow wrote:
    Someone giving a gift as a token of his/her feelings isn't retarded, but a 29 year old woman wanting a promise ring from their boyfriend to someone verify his feelings or the relationship, is retarded in my opinion.

    I suppose we all seek validation in our own ways...

    When my boyfriend brings me coffee in bed, that is all the verification of love I need. :)
    "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

    10/21/06 & 10/22/06 (Bridge Shows)
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    Yes, I think they're a scam to get people to buy more jewelry. I don't know this 29 year old woman but to me she sounds desperate to get married or at least consider herself as engaged before she's 30 so she's badgered her boyfriend into giving her a promise ring in hopes he'll give her the engagement ring next. Some people are just so desperate to not be alone that they'll willingly marry the first person who says "I love you".
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,685
    It's the opal ring crusade!
  • given2fly78given2fly78 Posts: 404
    Whizbang wrote:
    Yes, I think they're a scam to get people to buy more jewelry. I don't know this 29 year old woman but to me she sounds desperate to get married or at least consider herself as engaged before she's 30 so she's badgered her boyfriend into giving her a promise ring in hopes he'll give her the engagement ring next. Some people are just so desperate to not be alone that they'll willingly marry the first person who says "I love you".

    That's kind of what I'm thinking. I think this should be his sign to run, run as fast as he can. It sounds slightly desperate to me. Kind of like she's trying to validate the relationship to herself.

    I mean, whatever works for you I guess, but the whole "promise ring" still makes me laugh. I giggled to myself when I typed "promise ring". There, I did it again. LOL
    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. "
    Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

    I saw Hard To Imagine LIVE at MSG!
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    Exactly...

    People get anxious for that next step...and they want a ring to go with it.

    I never understand a really long engagement. I understand that the engagement period is to be spent considering whether or not you want to make the committment of marriage. However, if it takes years and years to consider whether or not you want to marry someone, you should probably not do it.

    people looooove to be engaged. as long as you are engaged, the world revolves around you. people are DYING to see your ring and hear ALL about your wedding. they HAVE to be nice to you and do everything you say the whole time your engaged. People like to say "my finance." It makes them feel fancy because it's french.
  • JOEJOEJOEJOEJOEJOE Posts: 10,513
    If the chick wants a promise ring, she must be very insecure, and fears that the fella is out of her league.

    If that's the case, the fella should look elsewhere cuz he can probably do much better!
    :)
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    I was just thinking that, no matter what age you are or what it means, if you have to ASK for a promise ring for christmas, it probably doesn't mean much...
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I was just thinking that, no matter what age you are or what it means, if you have to ASK for a promise ring for christmas, it probably doesn't mean much...

    EXACTLY!!!!
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • CHANGEinWAVESCHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I thought a promise ring was when a girl promises her father she won't have sex unless she gets married.
    that's what I thought.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    It makes them feel fancy because it's french.
    hehe this made me giggle :)
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    long red wrote:
    all symbols of love are scams.


    not at all.
    a true symbol is love is just that: merely a symbol. do some marketers take the idea too far to make $$$? absolutely. and if people 'buy' into that...well that's their choice. symbols are as strong or as weak as those who share and put stock into them. a promise to love...with or without a promise ring, engagement ring, wedding band, etc...is just that: a promise. it is a leap of faith that in reality is NOT tied to anything tangible in this world, and everything to do with the very untangible concept of commitment between two people.
    Stay with me...
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