Am I right?

pushmepullme

Rant time...

Last xmas was the worst xmas ever...it was the first xmas me and my gf had made a concious effort to spend it together, so we had planned, and arranged with our families, to spend the xmas day with my family, and boxing day with her family. All fair and simple, no problems.

But a few days before xmas day, my gf's mum started kicked up a fuss, trying to change all the arrangements, which got me stressed out big style, so much so that i ended up being in bed for 2-3 weeks with the flu/stress.

And on New Years Eve night she threw a big wobbly and ran around the house shouting and slamming all the doors because I wouldn't come downstairs, even though i was pretty much bedridden. The massive psycho.

Anyways, its Easter, and she's making a big old fuss about easter sunday lunch, and good friday, and easter monday, and having tea, and hot cross buns, and whatever.

And my folks are really laid back, like they don't put any pressure on claire, my gf, to do anything, or be anywhere, they just welcome her into their house whenever she wants to be there (which is a lot i hope, because my folks are great).

But claire's mum seem to put so much pressure on us being at her 'events' (and their meals are like 6 hours meals) that its just really starting to fuck me off. I don't even see the point in Easter anymore. Its just another day to me - gym in the morning, football in the afternoon, film in the evening.

Is life with the inlaws always like this? Because I can't take much more.

the wolf

pushmepullme wrote:

Rant time...

Last xmas was the worst xmas ever...it was the first xmas me and my gf had made a concious effort to spend it together, so we had planned, and arranged with our families, to spend the xmas day with my family, and boxing day with her family. All fair and simple, no problems.

But a few days before xmas day, my gf's mum started kicked up a fuss, trying to change all the arrangements, which got me stressed out big style, so much so that i ended up being in bed for 2-3 weeks with the flu/stress.

And on New Years Eve night she threw a big wobbly and ran around the house shouting and slamming all the doors because I wouldn't come downstairs, even though i was pretty much bedridden. The massive psycho.

Anyways, its Easter, and she's making a big old fuss about easter sunday lunch, and good friday, and easter monday, and having tea, and hot cross buns, and whatever.

And my folks are really laid back, like they don't put any pressure on claire, my gf, to do anything, or be anywhere, they just welcome her into their house whenever she wants to be there (which is a lot i hope, because my folks are great).

But claire's mum seem to put so much pressure on us being at her 'events' (and their meals are like 6 hours meals) that its just really starting to fuck me off. I don't even see the point in Easter anymore. Its just another day to me - gym in the morning, football in the afternoon, film in the evening.

Is life with the inlaws always like this? Because I can't take much more.

been there done that. the easy answer is dont celebrate christian holidays.

the real answear is, just work it out, and do it quick! trade every other year, every other holiday. whatever. but you must find a happy solution here, or it will fuck thigs up from here on.

pushmepullme

I don't think there is a happy solution, because her mum is like a mafia godfather in there family lol.

Jennytree

Have you spoken to the missus about how unhappy you are about it? Is she siding with her Ma or you?

Heineken Helen

well since easter means nothing to you, just spend it with Claires family or let Claire spend it with them alone. Your family got you christmas day... probably her first time not with her family... that's a biggie. Last year was the first time my dad spent christmas day with his girlfriends family and I was pretty annoyed and upset when I heard the news, even though I knew it was coming, I couldn't help it.

purple_chick79

"she threw a big wobbly"

That is fuckin awesome.

Hang in there.....it's only one day!

catefrances

tis this kind of story that makes me thankful that i am an atheist.

alls i care about this time of year is that chocolate takes on a diffferent form and seems to taste better.

comebackwoman

catefrances wrote:

tis this kind of story that makes me thankful that i am an atheist.

alls i care about this time of year is that chocolate takes on a diffferent form and seems to taste better.

You mean chocolate bilbies? It's just not Easter without a chocolate bilby I'm an Aussie already!!!

catefrances

comebackgirl wrote:

You mean chocolate bilbies? It's just not Easter without a chocolate bilby I'm an Aussie already!!!

bilbies, like more than one other australian animal, looks like God was toking when he designed them.

hmmmm chocolate.

Linda

my inlaws live in portugal, but still annoy the hell out of me.......
what can you do, just suck it up and fight the power???

comebackwoman

catefrances wrote:

bilbies, like more than one other australian animal, looks like God was toking when he designed them.

hmmmm chocolate.

haha agreed

Chocolate in any form is a good thing

To the OP - compromise is an important part of any relationship. I've been fortunate that all of my relationships have been with people from other countries...so spending time with their family wasn't really an option...makes things easy My brother and his wife just split their time...her family does their Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve...my family on Christmas Day...so that works out well. Decide between the two of you what you both want to do and then tell your familyies as a couple what you have decided.

rearviewmiror

One of the many reasons that there is an ex-Mrs rearviewmiror.

Trust me, it never gets better. Set boundaries ahead of time. Make the plan with your gf, stick to that. If she does not back you up it's just never going to work. If you're intent on at least meeting her halfway and going to her folks house when your family doesnt need you it will work out.

My ex used to split holidays with me, and then whenever we had Thanksgiving she'd have me go up to her family anyways the friday or saturday after. Defeated the whole point.

When I spent all vacation time visiting her family it was never enough, but when we moved closer to her family any time with my family was too much.

Work it out now, or it never gets done.

pushmepullme

Well I am an atheist, so I'm not going Sunday anyway. It just pisses me off. Claire tries to side with me, but like I say, her mum is the mafia don of their family. Her mum reminds me a lot of marie from everybody loves raymond!

It'll probably get a lot easier when claire and i get our own place in the summer, so we won't see our parents all the time.

Swan

i can't believe "flu/stress" knocked you on your ass for 3 weeks.

the wolf

you need to talk to her dude. tell her how you feel about it.

genie

problem is not with your inlaws, you've got a problem with you girlfriend.

don't get her into habit of treating you like a dog, i.e whatever she says you will do. let her know that you're your own person and like to be treated with respect.

it's clear to me that she does a lot of nagging..............

flowerchild

rearviewmiror wrote:

One of the many reasons that there is an ex-Mrs rearviewmiror.

Trust me, it never gets better. Set boundaries ahead of time. Make the plan with your gf, stick to that. If she does not back you up it's just never going to work. If you're intent on at least meeting her halfway and going to her folks house when your family doesnt need you it will work out.

My ex used to split holidays with me, and then whenever we had Thanksgiving she'd have me go up to her family anyways the friday or saturday after. Defeated the whole point.

When I spent all vacation time visiting her family it was never enough, but when we moved closer to her family any time with my family was too much.

Work it out now, or it never gets done.

You're a funny guy! Do you make this stuff up as you go along? Everyone who knows you knows the reason that there soon will be an ex-Mrs. Rearviewmiror is that you were out drinking and whoring around instead of making your marriage work. Maybe instead of having an affair, you should have paid more attention to the Mrs.

Snake

comebackgirl wrote:

You mean chocolate bilbies? It's just not Easter without a chocolate bilby I'm an Aussie already!!!

Yea... whats a bilby? is it one of thoses aussie things? Like alot of us americans, Im ignorent to the ways of other countries at least in this case.

edvedder913

Swan wrote:

i can't believe "flu/stress" knocked you on your ass for 3 weeks.

ha ha ha...I am glad I am not the only one left w/that thought after reading the long thread!!!!

as for the real reason for the post:
this is life w/any partner. sharing families and agreeing is hard work. communicate and come up w/a solution that makes you and her happy. the world doesn't revolve around her mother. and it is her job to deal with her mother- not yours. GOLDEN RULE - deal with your own family - do not get involved with the others over any "issues".