Would you read anything into it if...

EddiE

an ex girlfriend (or boyfriend) from years ago contacted you through Facebook and started talking about the old days, how you made them feel, things you wish had happened etc, even though they said they were now married?

orig_long red

spank bank.

EddiE

long red wrote:

spank bank.

LOL WTF does that mean?

P.S. *cheers* 500th post

dunkman

EddiE wrote:

an ex girlfriend (or boyfriend) from years ago contacted you through Facebook and started talking about the old days, how you made them feel, things you wish had happened etc, even though they said they were now married?

facebook is 28% responsible for all marriage break-ups... although i'm only 0.03% accurate with my statistics.. the other 99.99% of the time i just make them up.

personally this kind of thing scares me... old skeletons coming out of the closet.. is that the phrase?

pearljamjen

EddiE wrote:

an ex girlfriend (or boyfriend) from years ago contacted you through Facebook and started talking about the old days, how you made them feel, things you wish had happened etc, even though they said they were now married?

WEIRD you say that cuz last week MY EX decided to use the chat feature on Facebook to start a convo with me. He started going down memory lane...which was kinda hard for me and I didn't really want to do. And the he would talk about his serious relationship...but then kept going to talk about how things were with me, etc. It was weird, and I kept trying to change the subject. Then a couple days ago he did it AGAIN! He got annoyed at me because I told him I didn't want to talk about the subject he was discussing...but yeah, it is weird!

As for how would I read it, well I think with my situation both of still have feelings on some level...we only ended things because I moved out of that country, and I went back to visit him the following year and it was super wonderful...but then we kind of went our own ways. It definitely sounds like your person is wondering "what if," and perhaps thinks you are the one that got away? Dunno...

EvilMerlin

EddiE wrote:

LOL WTF does that mean?

P.S. *cheers* 500th post

LOL, the memories you keep of certain partners for the use of future masturbation sessions.

orig_long red

EddiE wrote:

LOL WTF does that mean?

P.S. *cheers* 500th post

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spank+bank

EddiE

EvilMerlin wrote:

LOL, the memories you keep of certain partners for the use of future masturbation sessions.

LMFAO...I like it.

I just have to point out that a) She dumped me, and I was totally crushed for about 3 years after it, still am to a certain point, b) she contacted me and c) she initiated the whole "do you ever think about us etc etc" conversation. Very unnerving, very very unnerving.

orig_long red

EddiE wrote:

LMFAO...I like it.

I just have to point out that a) She dumped me, and I was totally crushed for about 3 years after it, still am to a certain point, b) she contacted me and c) she initiated the whole "do you ever think about us etc etc" conversation. Very unnerving, very very unnerving.

she wants to sex you. i say do it and do it rough. revenge is a dish best served in bed. along with breakfast.

EvilMerlin

Oh and to be more on topic...I've had an ex contact me. It didn't turn out well. She's got a fiance now and all that stuff. Says life is great, blah blah blah...except their sex life is boring, and he doesn't get her going like I did and that they're not adventurous. So she asked if she could try it out with me to see if she wants more, or to at least go for a final ride.

Kind of caught me off guard, and that got a swift goodbye from me. I don't wanna dip my hands into that situation. Anyway, we were together for a little while in highschool, senior year(I was her first), and well that was it, and then she met her current fiance, and she was his first, and they've been going strong for well about 6 years now. So they've got their high school sweethearts story sorta, well I guess college sweethearts. They knew each other in high school though, didn't start till colloege, but I'll just stay away. It was nice to hear from her and know that she's doing good, I mean I wasn't in love with her or anything, but it's always nice to hear when people are doing well, but I wish it ended just at that. It just got kind of...weird. She still attempts talking to me in that fashion once in a while and keeps saying the offer is still there.

Chazz

EddiE wrote:

an ex girlfriend (or boyfriend) from years ago contacted you through Facebook and started talking about the old days, how you made them feel, things you wish had happened etc, even though they said they were now married?

Sounds to me like she wants to start something maybe? She may be married but is she HAPPILY married....(that just my opinion though )

EvilMerlin

EddiE wrote:

LMFAO...I like it.

I just have to point out that a) She dumped me, and I was totally crushed for about 3 years after it, still am to a certain point, b) she contacted me and c) she initiated the whole "do you ever think about us etc etc" conversation. Very unnerving, very very unnerving.

I'm sorry to hear that. I wrote up my experience with that, that seems similar...maybe she's having second thoughts? Or a stale sex life?

My ex was trying to get the, "what could have been between us?" factor out of me...and then the sex too. So I was weirded out...mainly because I wasn't that into her back then as far as a relationship, and she's acting like we were in love, and two, I'm just not attracted to her. Her 20's haven't been kind to her so far in the first half.

So I'd say that's a situation that if you're going to approach, be very very cautious. Especially if it was hard on you the first time, don't let this go around get to you if anything does happen with your talks. Don't want your memories of the times after she was gone getting the best of you again.

EddiE

long red wrote:

she wants to sex you. i say do it and do it rough. revenge is a dish best served naked.

She's married though, for the past 3 years....so I aint going there. It kinda pissed me off that she brought the subject up, it raked up a shit load of feeling even after all this time, my head's been really messed up today because of it all :(

Dissidentman

definitely read into that.

In my opinion, people in relationships should not have facebook/myspace pages. They appear to be "hook-up" websites and have been the cause of countless fights between friends of mine who have pages.

Sian-of-the-dead

dunkman wrote:

facebook is 28% responsible for all marriage break-ups... although i'm only 0.03% accurate with my statistics.. the other 99.99% of the time i just make them up.

personally this kind of thing scares me... old skeletons coming out of the closet.. is that the phrase?

Dunk, you never fail to make me chuckle

Man's got a point though. Facebook is a little bleeder for skeletons and closets. I personally would read into it if one of my ex's did that to me.

Lay down the law man, say no offence and hope you're not reading too much into it and all but you're not interested... she might laugh at you and say she wasn't contacting you for that but whats a little confusion/bruised pride compared to the trouble it could lead to? Let her know you don't see her like that anymore... unless you do?

Sian-of-the-dead

dissidentman wrote:

definitely read into that.

In my opinion, people in relationships should not have facebook/myspace pages. They appear to be "hook-up" websites and have been the cause of countless fights between friends of mine who have pages.

I disagree. I have alot of friends around the world whom I keep in contact with on facebook.
The site CAN be used for hooking up but If you're in a relationship, make it obvious and you won't need to fight them off. My profile lists me as being 'In a relationship' with Audio and, since I changed it, I've had very little hassle.

drivingrl

EddiE wrote:

an ex girlfriend (or boyfriend) from years ago contacted you through Facebook and started talking about the old days, how you made them feel, things you wish had happened etc, even though they said they were now married?

Yes.

Dissidentman

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

I disagree. I have alot of friends around the world whom I keep in contact with on facebook.
The site CAN be used for hooking up but If you're in a relationship, make it obvious and you won't need to fight them off. My profile lists me as being 'In a relationship' with Audio and, since I changed it, I've had very little hassle.

Well that's good then. I keep in touch with friends the old fashioned way, email.

jlarson75

Your post reminded me of something Adam Carolla said on his radio show yesterday. They were talking about wanting closure when a relationship ended- maybe meeting for lunch to "close" things, or something like that. His take on the idea was that "closure" was really "openjure," meaning that if you want what you think is "closure," you really have feelings left and want things to continue in some manner. As he said, the best "closure" is nothing at all.

EddiE

Well I've got to tell you, I was online last night, and so was she. I wasn't going to make the first move (i.e. pm her first). Eventually she pm'd me just to say hello etc, asked her how her day was (she had had a shitty day with work etc, she asked me (had a shit day but for other reasons), didn't really want to go into detail with her, but she pushed it and pushed so I just told her I was a bit head fucked from the conversation we had had the night before. She got a huge strop cos I wouldnt explain why, on so I caved in and told her that it raked alot of old feelings and memories up for me, and I was just working them through kinda thing. She got stroppy again then said she was logging cos she was up early for work the next day (it was 10.30 at this point). WTF am I supposed to think about that??? Yes, I do have feelings for her after all this time (well maybe feelings of "what if")....yes, I know she's married....no, I wouldn't get involved if it did come out that she wanted to. I just don't know what to think. I think I should block her on my msn list, I just don't know wtf to think....as I said, it's been a total headfuck.

Heineken Helen

EddiE wrote:

She's married though, for the past 3 years....so I aint going there. It kinda pissed me off that she brought the subject up, it raked up a shit load of feeling even after all this time, my head's been really messed up today because of it all :(

:eek: wow... well you showed great restraint... that's pretty admirable! But yeh, whatever about the reasons people ask these things, if they get a firm no they should leave it there and not keep bringing it up. To the OP be very very careful... this could fuck with your head :( . Maybe it's time for YOU to take control of the situation this time and tell her in no uncertain terms that you never look back and things happen for a reason!