Going Sober?

Music For Rhinos

So, normally I don't post personal things but in this case I'm gonna make an exception.

Over the past week, I have sincerely been trying to make changes in my life, namely going completely sober. My "weapons of choice" have been the basic trinity: cigs, booze and pot.

Now, I've been able to cut back extremely on the cigs and in fact as of this writing haven't bought a pack in nearly a week and have had 2 smoke-free days in the last 4 days. As for drinking, it was never really bad for me, mainly social and I have been fortunate in my ability to turn the drinking off and on at will.

The hard part, at least for me, is the pot. Over the past 3 years, I have smoked nearly everyday to some extent. I just got so used to it that I wouldn't even think about it but I realize it's affected my life negatively and I need to make a change.

So, I'm asking, please....if you're reading this and have gone through a similar situation yourself, I would love to hear your thoughts/advice/wisdom/encouragement.

I have a desire to be sober and improve my life but I know putting the pot down will be so difficult. The last few days, I've smoked with friends off and on and on the days I didn't smoke I cried...literally. It's a little embarassing to admit that being a 21 year old guy but I'm not gonna lie.

Basically, the bottom line is this: by quitting pot I feel like I'm losing a friend and there is a void that needs to be filled. I don't know how to deal. I don't know how to fill that emptiness or soothe the pain. It was like an escape for me and getting rid of that is challenging.

Again, any thoughts/words would be appreciated....especially if you have personally gone through what I have just described or something similar.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

jammergirl

wow, good for you man, for realizing that you need to make some changes. that is often the hardest step!
as for any personal anecdotes, i haven't been addicted to pot but my best friend was. i enjoy it on occasion, but she basically threw away almost three years of her life. she would wake up and smoke, go to her job and smoke in the back, and off work instead of going out and doing anything fun, it was always a quest to find more pot. after she realized she had a problem and severely cut back (she only smokes once or twice a week, which is huge) she admitted to me later that she felt lost and was trying to fill a void. i'm not sure what advice to give you, but maybe you should take stock of your life and see what is making you unhappy or not fullfilled. maybe a job change or whatever is in order to motivate you to stick with it. good luck and keep us posted on how you're doing!

Sian-of-the-dead

wow!

well (as tacky as it sounds) you've made the biggest step by admitting you have a problem and doing something about it, good luck with it!

Being 21 has nothing to do with it, I'm 24 next week but I too have felt the effects of weed over the years.

I first got into smoking it when I was 17 and left home without telling my folks. I saw it as something that would help chill me out and make me more adult :rolleyes: I got involved with a group of people that had nothing better to do than sit around, living off benefits and smoking weed in a hell of a den above a dry cleaners in Coventry.

One of my first wake up moments was when I went to the place and found the guy renting it had taken in a cat from a friend. I soon discovered that it was a great source of hilarity giving the cat 'blow backs' and making it stoned. The cats litter hadn't been changed for over 3 weeks, it was living in filth and it was literally eating scraps of munchies from the floor. Needless to say, I took the cat and found it a new, caring, responsible home with friends.

During my time smoking weed I didn't actually actually notice just how dependant myself and my partner at the time had become on it. We felt we needed it to exist... just to feel SOMETHING.

I was, at the time, working in a pub. Late hours and being surrounded by similar people, alcohol, a pot head and alcoholic landlord and drug dealing gangsters just influenced me to smoke even more. I was so unhappy but I just couldn't see it, cuz if I smoked, it all went away.

I found a new job when I was nearly 21 and realised that life isn't about getting stoned and wasting what precious time I have on this earth. I had started working with a group of people, predominantly mothers, who made me realise life is for living and appreciating, not forgetting. Afterall, could I really remember half of my evenings?! I went about kicking my addiction to the stuff and felt i'd succeeded. I became a 'sociable smoker', only smoking in large groups at festivals, gigs, parties etc... basically when the mood was 'good'. :rolleyes:

During this whole time my partner was growing more and more hostile, depressed and dependant on weed.

Another wake up call for me was seeing pictures of myself stoned. I had grown to a gargantuan size and not even noticed. I was obviously alot more unhappy than i'd like to have thought and my late teens/early twenties had passed me by in a blur.
I decided to give up smoking pot properly and do something about my weight.

I've lost 6 stone in the past 2 years and only smoked on a few occasions (felt f**king awful the next day I can tell you, not just through after effects but the shame and disappointment in myself was crippling). I only smoked those few times because my relationship had broke down with my partner and I thought it might help... it didn't, it just clouded my judgement, feelings and emotions more. One day I came home to find him smoking through a home made pipe made out of a diet coke can with the tiniest crumbs of pot i'd ever seen... pure desperation. Pot became a wedge between us, something we argued about constantly but the more we argued about it, the more I hated it for what it had done to the one person I loved and trusted more than anything.

Myself and that partner ended our nearly 7 year relationship last year. He had made some bad decisions and was still heavily addicted to smoking pot. It wasn't the cause for the relationship breakdown but it certainly was a huge contributing factor in it and the decisions he made. He is now in a relationship with a lovely woman with two children, I won't say this doesn't worry me, it really does. I just hope his wake up call isn't something so severe it hurts someone permenantly.

It's not the most drastic of pot smoking stories but it was enough to change my mind on the whole thing.

I understand that it's gonna be like losing a crutch but try finding other things to take up the time you used to spend smoking. I re-discovered my love and talent for art and my love for mountain biking. I personally don't think you can beat the feeling of finishing and being proud of a piece of work you've spent hours on, seeing someone's face when you give it to them, the feeling of getting up a challenging hill or the racing of your heart after you've just thrown yourself off the top of a mountain... soppy? probably... but I think the feeling of being alive beats any feeling of being stoned any day.

Keep us updated on your progress. Seriously, good luck and take every day as it comes

sponger

I remember when I was taking trigonometry there was a guy in my class who I guess was a heavy pot smoker. He looked a little like a typical pot-head, but also there was this one morning when he was smoking a joint right before class. I figure a person must really have a habit if he's lighting up on campus right before class.

Anyway, this guy was really bright. He was always getting the highest test scores and he was usually the first to "get" the lesson that was being taught.

But, he was a fucking dickhead of a person. He would get into these really petty and stupid confrontations with the teacher and he wouldn't stop whining about her outside of class.

Marijuana, like other drugs, is self-medicating. Like you said before, it will leave a void for people who are used to it. But, other than that, it conditions people to focus only on themselves in a way that is almost chronically selfish. In essence, a potsmoker's life revolves around making himself feel better.

Also, there was recently published a study about how long-term pot use can almost double a person's chances of developing a personality disorder.

But, to stay clean, you have to convince yourself why your life will be better without it, and remind yourself of that as you run into those hard times where you can't think about anything else but packing a bowl or rolling up a doob.

Not everyone is the same, so the reasons that you might come up with may or may not apply to other pot-heads. And if you bring up your rationalizations to other pot-heads, they're just not going to want to hear it and they may even accuse you of misjudging marijuana or being too narrow-mindedly conservative.

dunkman

i was very very heavily into booze between ages of 20-24... i used to wake up on golf courses and in peoples gardens.. but the crunch was when i started vomiting blood and the doc said i had ruptured my stomach lining.

but i just stopped that day... didnt drink again for months.. and since then i just get drunk as and when i want.. but even at that time i dont think i was addicted to booze.. i just wanted to get totally hammered.. 50cl of blue label vodka before i went out.. that kinda thing.

and i know people will think i'm joking but i truly believe i have a sex addiction.. i think about it all the time, i crave it endlessly..

anotherclone

When I was younger (I am 43), I was a multiple times daily pot smoker for years. I decided one day to just quit.

The biggest thing for me was throwing away all the paraphernalia. Once I didn't have my tools, I just didn't let myself buy anything to replace it. It was probably one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I told my pot smoking friends I couldn't be around them when they smoked. I could still hang with them, but I just couldn't be around that activity when they did it. And they understood and respected that. Because I really did like those people. I didn't want to have to give up my friends.

It was hard, but after about a month, I could literally feel my brain cells regrowing.

This was 15-20 years ago. Now I have allowed myself to dabble a bit. But only on special occasions. It makes it more special and I still enjoy it.

You can do it but cold turkey is the best way to do it, in my opinion.

my2hands

fucking quitters :rolleyes:

meme

I'm really impressed by this thread, and by you

Are you a student? If you are in college, I am pretty sure there is a counselling center you can consult for help. Other than that, I would say try to hang out with people who don't smoke as often, but are still good friends and could support your decision.

Good luck!

orig_long red

2007 was a big year of "quits" for me. I quit my job of 9 years, quit cigs, quit drinking heavily and quit pot. Without question, the hardest thing of that group to quit was pot. The one thing that helped was the thought that my life had become boring and repetitive. Quitting pot was a way of just doing something else. I still have friends that smoke and I have no problem just leaving and taking time to myself, at home, alone if necessary. If you're serious about quitting, you'll accept the sacrifices. I have and I'm a better person for it.

Music For Rhinos

Hey everybody, thanks for all the responses.

So far, everything is good and I'm still going strong. I noticed a few cravings here and there for cigarettes but I am not giving in to them again. The drink as always is not a problem really.

Still missing pot but at this point I have been telling myself it's too expensive to buy and it's a waste of money anyway.

Out of everything, I'm most worried that I will go back to smoking pot because as I've said before, it's that escape aspect of it that is the true addiction.

I guess the important thing is distancing myself from it as much as possible and finding other things to occupy myself. It's a long, slow and difficult process but I am going to keep trying.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

For about a year when I was 19-20, I smoked every day, at least twice a day. And one day, I wanted to quit, so I did. I still smoke every so often...maybe 2-3 times a year if that...never buy it. Before then I had "tried" to quit a few times, but when I look back on it now, it was just because I didn't really want to.

I think when you truly want to quit, you'll quit. It's the same with everything else in life....quitting drugs, losing weight, whatever your problems are. When you really want to do something, you do it, and you don't let anything or anyone distract you.

And I think you'll find as you get older that there is no such thing as a "void"...you just have to be a man, and move on. Most of the time, you don't lose something then gain something immediately after. It's all random.