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Dumb internet dating question..

LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
edited February 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
EDIT: ..got to that point already.. :p
Post edited by Unknown User on

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  • pj10alive42pj10alive42 Posts: 381
    One of my favorite couples to hang out with met online. They described it as being akward at first, but once they got over the whole internet "thing" (whatever that means) they were a perfect fit. I would say go for it. Ask her out and have fun. You are both looking for something. There's no way to know whether either of you will be the other persons "something" unless you take the relationship to a more personal level.

    Just my 2 cents. Good luck anyway!
    I'm trying to drink away the part of the day I cannot sleep away...
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    LikeAnOcean wrote:

    Is there a political correctness to meeting people online? lol.


    not really amigo.. not that i've dont it but i would just say to go with your own feelings on this... i think there have been people on this board who got together and maybe they could reply and tell you how it went for them.


    good luck :)
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    dunkman wrote:
    i think there have been people on this board who got together and maybe they could reply and tell you how it went for them.

    Yeah.. fuck political correctness. :D
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    Yeah.. fuck political correctness. :D

    i just spend 27 minutes looking up the member usernames to see if i could find a female user called "political correctness"... closest i got was failedpersephone... that'll do me ;)
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    dunkman wrote:
    i just spend 27 minutes looking up the member usernames to see if i could find a female user called "political correctness"... closest i got was failedpersephone... that'll do me ;)

    hahaha :D
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Sian-of-the-deadSian-of-the-dead Posts: 8,963
    No real rules as such, just ride the wave and do what YOU feel is best. You wanna give her your number, do it man, nothing ventured, nothing gained... oh and fuck anyones opinions on 'internet relationships' or 'meeting people online'... it CAN work and often does.

    Go for it :D

    I'm assuming you live close or within enough distance to go on a date?
    Been to this many PJ shows: Reading 2006 London 2007 Manchester & London 2009 Dublin, Belfast, London, Nijmegen & Berlin 2010 Manchester 1 & Manchester 2 2012...

    ... and I still think Drive-By Truckers are better.
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    How long or how many messages do you send before you ask the person out? My reason for asking is, I've had woman give me their numbers and want to date on the first message, and that kind of freaked me out a bit, and my thoughts of them being a bit on the edge ended up being reflected in real life. Girls that easy are that easy for a reason..

    Anyways, I've been chatting back and forth now with this girl for a few days, a few messages sent each, and she actually seems normal. Should I keep chatting with her for a bit and then offer a date? I don't want to come across as desperate, which I'm not, but I don't to drag it out and make her to think I'm playing with her..

    Is there a political correctness to meeting people online? lol.

    This girl is REALLY CUTE, and from what I've read seems really cool.. I've been turned off by pushy women before, so I don't want to blow it vice versa. :o

    as someone who's done quite a bit of online dating...don't wait too long. that just gets annoying. you both know what you're on the site for. you might want to chat or email a few times, but there's no reason to drag it out longer than that- it's just a date. as long as the person still seems interesting ask them out. if you're not interested anymore, don't keep chatting with them, that just gets confusing for everyone involved.
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    as someone who's done quite a bit of online dating...don't wait too long. that just gets annoying. you both know what you're on the site for. you might want to chat or email a few times, but there's no reason to drag it out longer than that- it's just a date. as long as the person still seems interesting ask them out. if you're not interested anymore, don't keep chatting with them, that just gets confusing for everyone involved.
    Makes sense. She just gave me her email address in her second message to me, so maybe in my third (by email) to her, I'll offer my phone number.
  • RygarRygar Posts: 8,685
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    Makes sense. She just gave me her email address in her second message to me, so maybe in my third (by email) to her, I'll offer my phone number.
    If she sent you her email address in her second message you oughta send your phone number to her email address.
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    As some have mentioned...just do whatever feels natural. If you feel like you made a connection and it's time to talk on the phone, give her your number. If that freaks her out, she's probably not the right person for you, just like the women who freaked you out weren't right for you. It's such an individual thing...I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. If it feels like it's time...it's time!
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    comebackgirl wrote:
    As some have mentioned...just do whatever feels natural. If you feel like you made a connection and it's time to talk on the phone, give her your number. If that freaks her out, she's probably not the right person for you, just like the women who freaked you out weren't right for you. It's such an individual thing...I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. If it feels like it's time...it's time!

    do you guys take a talk on the phone step? I've never done that...I just chat online/email and then meet in person.
  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    do you guys take a talk on the phone step? I've never done that...I just chat online/email and then meet in person.
    Well I did with zoso...but that's cause he's on the other side of the planet, so meeting in person wasn't an immediate option at the time :p We had been chatting for about 6 weeks before he gave me his number...I think if he had done it sooner it probably would have freaked me out...but we're both a little slow to open up so that worked for us.
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • xscorchoxscorcho Posts: 409
    if its a dating site.. youre both there for the same reasons.. so ask her... no need to wait it out
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    How long or how many messages do you send before you ask the person out? My reason for asking is, I've had woman give me their numbers and want to date on the first message, and that kind of freaked me out a bit, and my thoughts of them being a bit on the edge ended up being reflected in real life. Girls that easy are that easy for a reason..

    Anyways, I've been chatting back and forth now with this girl for a few days, a few messages sent each, and she actually seems normal. Should I keep chatting with her for a bit and then offer a date? I don't want to come across as desperate, which I'm not, but I don't to drag it out and make her to think I'm playing with her..

    Is there a political correctness to meeting people online? lol.

    This girl is REALLY CUTE, and from what I've read seems really cool.. I've been turned off by pushy women before, so I don't want to blow it vice versa. :o

    why do men make things seems harder to understand then they really are?

    reading about political correctness online makes me want to vomit....oh wait or it could be due to Jager :D haha

    do what the hell you want to do! and how does seeing someone after talking only once online makes someone easy? :confused: it's not like they will fuck you on the first date, you should not call them easy....however you can call some of them lazy.

    take me for example i don't like to chat with people for a long time through texting or chating online, i much rather look at them and do something with that person like go to the cinema, park, gallery...whatever than look at phone/computer screen.

    there is only one exception, and it's this forum :) i love it here
  • lalalalaaaaaaaalalalalaaaaaaaa Posts: 2,445
    genie wrote:
    why do men make things seems harder to understand then they really are?
    Well it sorta IS harder for us...it's still pretty much accepted that WE are supposed to do all the asking out and shit at first. It's hard to when you don't know someone very well. You just have to sit there and say 'yes' or 'no'.

    Give the guy a break, devil woman :p
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    Saturnal wrote:
    Well it sorta IS harder for us...it's still pretty much accepted that WE are supposed to do all the asking out and shit at first. It's hard to when you don't know someone very well. You just have to sit there and say 'yes' or 'no'.

    Give the guy a break, devil woman :p

    eh when it comes to online dating, asking out just comes up in conversation and it's not necessarily the woman or the man who does it. both parties know it's coming, and obviously (or it should be obvious) both parties are talking to each other for the sole purpose of getting a date with the other party, so really it's just whomever happens to squeeze it in appropriately in the conversation.
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    I think it's all relative.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    genie wrote:
    why do men make things seems harder to understand then they really are?

    oh thats just flingwingle, i've slangy muck fistle pop to that post... apropros jingeer?


    in short, i agree :)
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    dunkman wrote:
    oh thats just flingwingle, i've slangy muck fistle pop to that post... apropros jingeer?


    in short, i agree :)

    for a minute there i thought i finally went completely nuts :D
  • jamainiacjamainiac Posts: 429
    If you're ready to meet her then do it :)

    I find the telephone a really awkward way to communicate... especially with someone you don't really know...

    Just ask if she'd like to meet you for a coffee or a beer...

    Funny... Sennin & I chatted online for what.... almost a year before we met in person... Kinda different with us though because when we first started communicating online it wasn't under the guise of dating...

    Good Luck! Life's short... Jump In! You'll never get to go for a swim if you don't get wet :D
    Exercising her will to lose control...
    she lets go
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    Saturnal wrote:
    Well it sorta IS harder for us...it's still pretty much accepted that WE are supposed to do all the asking out and shit at first. It's hard to when you don't know someone very well. You just have to sit there and say 'yes' or 'no'.

    Give the guy a break, devil woman :p

    if i waited for guys to ask me out i'd be still a virgin. or would've lost it to some old dude or ugly guy.

    if it's interenet i will be the first one to ask out probably, if it's a guy that i know/met through my friends then i'll be making hints or asking out. if it's a stranger and i just happened started talking to them then i will get a reason for me to meet up with him.

    there is only one thing to it all, i start of thinking we are going to be friends, and i'm just going out with them as a friend.....................

    and moral to this story is, i want at least for once in my life to be approached by a good looking nice guy so far all i get is ugly or old or fat or idiots.
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    genie wrote:

    there is only one thing to it all, i start of thinking we are going to be friends, and i'm just going out with them as a friend.....................

    shit and speaking of friends i've got this guy who is supposed to give me free dvds. i don't know him well, he seems nice but he's kind of bothering me with his text messages now...

    damn, i can be so naive.that's it next time i don't take any help or favor from men at all even if i get on with them on friendly terms.

    anyway sorry folks i'm off the topic.
  • holtzholtz Posts: 509
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    do you guys take a talk on the phone step? I've never done that...I just chat online/email and then meet in person.

    I always talk on the phone before meeting, if it goes well through email then I ask for her number and if we hit it off on the phone then I'll ask her out. I've hit it off with women before through email and then once talking on the phone I realized that we weren't right for each other, talking for 10 minutes on the phone you can learn so much more than you can in a few emails.
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    holtz wrote:
    I always talk on the phone before meeting, if it goes well through email then I ask for her number and if we hit it off on the phone then I'll ask her out. I've hit it off with women before through email and then once talking on the phone I realized that we weren't right for each other, talking for 10 minutes on the phone you can learn so much more than you can in a few emails.

    this just reminded me of phone interviews, god how much i hate it. it's going to sound really weird but i get really shy talking on the phone
  • monster95monster95 Posts: 127
    what if..............
    your chatting to someone for ages....
    she's married......
    your married.......
    you talked on the phone..
    everything was cooooool....
    what then....(gulp)!
    oohh btw...
    you both live on the other side of the world to each other...hah
    I plan to live forever.so far so good !
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    This is an interesting thread.I recently signed up to a dating site,after friends kept on berating me for liking my own company to much :0.
    Anyway I got a message from this guy two days ago,saying he liked my profile.I returned a brief reply thanking him for his interest and saying that if I ever saw him online I might send him an instant message.I then logged off.
    Last night I got two mails from him,going on about love and holding hands in the rain :/ !(extra cheese anyone?)
    Tonight I came home and there's another two mails from him.One having been sent at 7:15am saying good morning sweetheart :/ and another one giving me his myspace details and more talk of hand holding and walking through life in love:/.
    I am now freaking the hell out,thankfully I havn't given out any contact details and have a pseudonym name.But surely this isn't normal to leap from a hello there to hand holding requests from this guy.I think I should blocked his mails,but should I also mail him to say "whoa matey,less of the declarations of being called sweetheart etc".
    This was the reason I have avoided sites.Yes it would be nice to meet someone but I dont need someone obsessing over me on the limited info on my profile and one grainy photo.
    Advise please :)
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • HawkshoreHawkshore Posts: 2,155
    stargirl69 wrote:
    This is an interesting thread.I recently signed up to a dating site,after friends kept on berating me for liking my own company to much :0.
    Anyway I got a message from this guy two days ago,saying he liked my profile.I returned a brief reply thanking him for his interest and saying that if I ever saw him online I might send him an instant message.I then logged off.
    Last night I got two mails from him,going on about love and holding hands in the rain :/ !(extra cheese anyone?)
    Tonight I came home and there's another two mails from him.One having been sent at 7:15am saying good morning sweetheart :/ and another one giving me his myspace details and more talk of hand holding and walking through life in love:/.
    I am now freaking the hell out,thankfully I havn't given out any contact details and have a pseudonym name.But surely this isn't normal to leap from a hello there to hand holding requests from this guy.I think I should block his mails,but should I also mail him to say "whoa matey,less of the declarations of being called sweetheart etc".
    This was the reason I have avoided sites.Yes it would be nice to meet someone but I dont need someone obsessing over me on the limited info on my profile and one grainy photo.
    Advise please :)

    Can you say block feature!!! :)
    Van 92.07.21 / Van 98.07.19 / Sea 98.07.22 / Tor 98.08.22 / Sea 00.11.06 / Van 03.05.30/ Van 05.09.02/ Gorge 06.07.22 & 23 / EV Van 08.04.02 / Tor 09.08.21 / Sea 09.09.21 & 22 / Van 09.09.25 / Van 11.09.25 / Van 13.12.04 / Pem 16.07.17 / Sea 18.08.10
  • stargirl69stargirl69 Posts: 6,387
    Hawkshore wrote:
    Can you say block feature!!! :)




    Doh!!!Read again lol.I plan to block when I am brave enough to log on again,but just want someone else's opinion in also thinking this is a freak.This is the first time I have done anything like this and I know what my threshold is but I am constantly told by friends that its to tight and I am to cautious of people.Just after opinions from people who have done this before.But thanks for your practical advice.:)
    “There should be a place where only the things you want to happen, happen”
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    Got me another date with an internet girl tomorrow. Woo hoo!..

    just got off the phone from that awkward first call.. she talked to me for an hour and a half... I spoke about 5 minutes.. gotta love women! :D

    I wonder what the science behind that is? I'd let her know I'm still here and listening by the occasional "uh huh" "yeah" "uh huh" *laugh at her joke*.. Just to let her know I had a life too I'd have to cut her off every now and then.. From my experience, 99.9% of women seem to be like that.. not that thats a bad thing. :p
  • South of SeattleSouth of Seattle Posts: 10,724
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    Got me another date with an internet girl tomorrow. Woo hoo!..

    just got off the phone from that awkward first call.. she talked to me for an hour and a half... I spoke about 5 minutes.. gotta love women! :D

    I wonder what the science behind that is? I'd let her know I'm still here and listening by the occasional "uh huh" "yeah" "uh huh" *laugh at her joke*.. Just to let her know I had a life too I'd have to cut her off every now and then.. From my experience, 99.9% of women seem to be like that.. not that thats a bad thing. :p

    Classic :D
    NERDS!
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