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i've turned into a cynic

nothingman44nothingman44 Posts: 1,495
edited November 2007 in All Encompassing Trip
I've turned into a cynical fucker lately. Outside of my friends, and they know who they are, I believe everyone in this world has ulterior motives for their actions. I understand everyone has to look out for their own well-being, but if that comes at the expense of making someone else look like a fool or tossing someone under the bus, those that lead people on for their own gain are absolutely useless to me. The easiest way to go about something is by being honest, no matter how brutal it may be. There is no need to drag someone along and play stupid games. Bottom line...say what you mean, and mean what you say.
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  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    i became a cynic the minute reagan was sworn in as president. :)
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    Good, we need more on the MT.

    I try to be honest. I fight against dualism because dualism is against my philosophy. I fight for compassion so that people will have compassion for me too. Everything I do is ultimately selfish, it's the only way to motivate such an organism as a human being. But I enjoy the illusion that it's actual altruism and it feels like I geniunely care about others. That's the reward for being a selfish fucker.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,297
    nothingman44 wrote:
    I've turned into a cynical fucker lately. Outside of my friends, and they know who they are, I believe everyone in this world has ulterior motives for their actions. I understand everyone has to look out for their own well-being, but if that comes at the expense of making someone else look like a fool or tossing someone under the bus, those that lead people on for their own gain are absolutely useless to me. The easiest way to go about something is by being honest, no matter how brutal it may be. There is no need to drag someone along and play stupid games. Bottom line...say what you mean, and mean what you say.
    The older I get the more friendlier people seem to be. I wonder if it's a reflection in how I act or just how I perceive other people. Probably both. When I thought all men were potential rapists I acted scared around them, and at the ready to defend myself. Then, luckily, I met many men who were just good good people. What an eye opener. Kindof fun when joy and genuine good will entered my experience of the world.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • itsevobabyitsevobaby Posts: 1,809
    i hear ya, me too. i try to look for the best in people, but after you get fuck over time & time again it's hard not to see the world for what it is, or what it can be. i still consider myself an optimist but you've got to keep naivety from creeping in. i think it's called growing up :)
    Look Alive,
    See These Bones
  • nothingman44nothingman44 Posts: 1,495
    itsevobaby wrote:
    i hear ya, me too. i try to look for the best in people, but after you get fuck over time & time again it's hard not to see the world for what it is, or what it can be. i still consider myself an optimist but you've got to keep naivety from creeping in. i think it's called growing up :)

    exactly...

    i always looked for the best in people and given the benefit of the doubt more times than not. but i've been fucked over too many times.

    when you realize who someone really is, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    itsevobaby wrote:
    i hear ya, me too. i try to look for the best in people, but after you get fuck over time & time again it's hard not to see the world for what it is, or what it can be. i still consider myself an optimist but you've got to keep naivety from creeping in. i think it's called growing up :)

    I agree with that except I personally was BORN a cynic. I'm trying to train myself not to be.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    I agree with that except I personally was BORN a cynic.


    i very much doubt that, its just too hard to believe!
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    dunkman wrote:
    i very much doubt that, its just too hard to believe!

    Not sure what you meant by that. *Scatches head*. :D

    I must be being cynical because I can't tell if you're taking the piss or not!
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    I agree with that except I personally was BORN a cynic. I'm trying to train myself not to be.

    From what I know about you, compare the shit I come out with daily with some of the stuff you've said to make me see sense, and you haven't got a cynical bone in your body.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    From what I know about you, compare the shit I come out with daily with some of the stuff you've said to make me see sense, and you haven't got a cynical bone in your body.

    Thanks! I'm bleedin' fantastic, I am! ;)

    P.S. Are you trying to start a fight with me? ;)
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    MattCameronKicksButt wrote:
    Thanks! I'm bleedin' fantastic, I am! ;)

    P.S. Are you trying to start a fight with me? ;)

    Yeah I FUCKIN am, you got a problem with that missy?
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • TrixieCatTrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    Ms. Haiku wrote:
    The older I get the more friendlier people seem to be. I wonder if it's a reflection in how I act or just how I perceive other people. Probably both. When I thought all men were potential rapists I acted scared around them, and at the ready to defend myself. Then, luckily, I met many men who were just good good people. What an eye opener. Kindof fun when joy and genuine good will entered my experience of the world.
    The way I see it, as we get older, we tend to not worry so much about what other people think, regarding the way we dress, who we hang out with. For me, I have become more cerebral and I seek out people to stimulate my mind. I am not so cynical as I have already figured out everyone can't be trusted so I just go about my own business.
    I also believe that you get back what you put out there. I realize my motives for wanting to befriend certain people as more being "what can we do for each other" rather than "what can this person do for me".
    Or what can I do to make that person's life easier or happier?
    I have mellowed out so much...lol.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • nuffingmannuffingman Posts: 3,014
    I invented the word cynic.
  • SPEEDY MCCREADYSPEEDY MCCREADY Posts: 25,887
    nothingman44 wrote:
    Bottom line...say what you mean, and mean what you say.
    anyone who as ever met me knows one thing.....

    i have NEVER in my life had a problem saying what is on my mind.....i have also NEVER had a problem confronting people who i feel are lying pieces of shit......
    Take me piece by piece.....
    Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,297
    nuffingman wrote:
    I invented the word cynic.
    Well, then uninvent it. Unless it does a body good. ;)
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    nothingman44 wrote:
    I've turned into a cynical fucker lately. Outside of my friends, and they know who they are, I believe everyone in this world has ulterior motives for their actions. I understand everyone has to look out for their own well-being, but if that comes at the expense of making someone else look like a fool or tossing someone under the bus, those that lead people on for their own gain are absolutely useless to me. The easiest way to go about something is by being honest, no matter how brutal it may be. There is no need to drag someone along and play stupid games. Bottom line...say what you mean, and mean what you say.

    it's better to be cynical, at least when someone is being honest and doing something good for you, you can really appreciate it.

    i don't know whether i'm cynical, or a fuck up or just totally of my rocker today, but it does amazes me when people ( especially strangers ) are good & respectful towards me
  • soulsingingsoulsinging Posts: 13,202
    nothingman44 wrote:
    I've turned into a cynical fucker lately. Outside of my friends, and they know who they are, I believe everyone in this world has ulterior motives for their actions. I understand everyone has to look out for their own well-being, but if that comes at the expense of making someone else look like a fool or tossing someone under the bus, those that lead people on for their own gain are absolutely useless to me. The easiest way to go about something is by being honest, no matter how brutal it may be. There is no need to drag someone along and play stupid games. Bottom line...say what you mean, and mean what you say.

    eh, you're not a cynic. once you realize that your friends also have ulterior motives and so does anyone who claims to love you aside from maybe your parents (maybe), then you've become a cynic. though i think the proper term is realism.
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    soulsinging wrote:
    eh, you're not a cynic. once you realize that your friends also have ulterior motives and so does anyone who claims to love you aside from maybe your parents (maybe), then you've become a cynic. though i think the proper term is realism.

    of course, it's like my directing manager, i spoke with him about quiting my job, and he said not to do any rush decisions, he said he will speak to me first......he also added that "you're part of our family now, and i love you"

    btw....he's a Christian...but i know he's saving his own ass....because if i go that will mean that as a directing manager he didn't do his job properly by employing someone like me.

    whatever he said to me is pure bollocks
  • DerrickDerrick Posts: 475
    nothingman44 wrote:
    Outside of my friends, and they know who they are, I believe everyone in this world has ulterior motives for their actions.

    Quite a statement. You should really get over yourself.
  • geniegenie Posts: 2,222
    Derrick wrote:
    Quite a statement. You should really get over yourself.

    what a way to make someone less paranoid :rolleyes:
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    nothingman44 wrote:
    I've turned into a cynical fucker lately. Outside of my friends, and they know who they are, I believe everyone in this world has ulterior motives for their actions. I understand everyone has to look out for their own well-being, but if that comes at the expense of making someone else look like a fool or tossing someone under the bus, those that lead people on for their own gain are absolutely useless to me. The easiest way to go about something is by being honest, no matter how brutal it may be. There is no need to drag someone along and play stupid games. Bottom line...say what you mean, and mean what you say.

    I prefer people to be direct and honest too, but the world is filled with complexity.

    There are people you run across in jobs and other situations that do have ulterior motives and manipulative ways of doing things and you can't avoid them. (I have recently had a taste of back-stabbing from an unlikely source.) It does not feel good...my conclusion about this tendency in people, after much thought-pounding is that people do whatever they can to get what they need or want. Sometimes they're truthfull, sometimes they lie, sometimes they don't even know they are flopping and flipping their opinions and loyalties in the wind!!!

    I think you just have to choose your friends wisely and be wary of other people until they start to let their tendencies to be honest or manipulative emerge. Then you'll know whether to trust them or not...or whether you want to deal with the fact that sometimes you can trust the person, other times you can't....

    Dealing with people is complicated!! :D
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • libragirllibragirl Posts: 4,632
    I try to keep myself open and give people the benefit of the doubt. But once I detect someone has less then honorable intentions, I will not hesitate to call them out on it and get the fuck away from them. But other then that I would say Im a "people" person.
    These cuts are leaving creases. Trace the scars to fit the pieces, to tell the story, you don't need to say a word.
  • covered in blisscovered in bliss chi-caw-go Posts: 1,332
    I think you just have to choose your friends wisely and be wary of other people until they start to let their tendencies to be honest or manipulative emerge. Then you'll know whether to trust them or not...or whether you want to deal with the fact that sometimes you can trust the person, other times you can't....

    This is excellent. It also helps to try and understand why some people are so shitty to begin with. It's easier to forgive and/or overlook when you know where they are coming from and why they act the way they do.
  • given2fly78given2fly78 Posts: 404
    ohhhhhhh, I so agree.

    But no matter how many times I get royally screwed - most recently was about a month and a half ago - by my business partner/friend - I refuse to become cynical.

    I always try and see the best in people. Even if I'm warned (which I was in that particular case).

    About 6 years ago I watched my dad go through a massive cerebral aneurysm and I learned so much - about life, myself, friends, family, love, ect. And no matter what happens, I always want to reflect back to the lessons I learned during that time.

    So now I just proceed with caution. And it sucks, but it is what it is. And if I get hurt again, at least I have not stooped down to other peoples levels. I always operate with integrity and the best intentions. And due to that, I will always come out on top.

    That, and "what goes around comes around". That helps.
    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. "
    Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

    I saw Hard To Imagine LIVE at MSG!
  • tremorvoidtremorvoid Posts: 528
    soulsinging wrote:
    eh, you're not a cynic. once you realize that your friends also have ulterior motives and so does anyone who claims to love you aside from maybe your parents (maybe), then you've become a cynic. though i think the proper term is realism.

    im come to realize this as well. everyone is a selfish fucker ultimately. even those who "love" you. sad but true...realism...i like that.
    Seems that needlessly it's getting harder
    To find an approach and a way to live
    Are we getting something out of this
    all-encompassing trip?
  • Heineken HelenHeineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    genie wrote:
    it's better to be cynical, at least when someone is being honest and doing something good for you, you can really appreciate it.

    i don't know whether i'm cynical, or a fuck up or just totally of my rocker today, but it does amazes me when people ( especially strangers ) are good & respectful towards me
    but surely it's not always easy to recognise when people ARE doing good? Cos you're being cynical and maybe suspect they have ulterior motives?

    I don't agree it's better to be cynical... I've been there... it's no fun and it gets ya nowhere. Sure people always WILL fuck others over but I truly believe these people are the minority or at least HALF. I make an effort to trust people until they show me they shouldn't be trusted. I'm not going to let fuckheads make ME one of them or change the way I look at people. Yep, people still tend to disappoint me but more often than not, they surprise me in a good way. If you just take people as they come (neither in a positive nor a negative way) you're gonna find out one way or another... but I'd like people to take me as I come across... cos that's generally how I am. If they don't, well what am I supposed to do with that?
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    but surely it's not always easy to recognise when people ARE doing good? Cos you're being cynical and maybe suspect they have ulterior motives?

    I don't agree it's better to be cynical... I've been there... it's no fun and it gets ya nowhere. Sure people always WILL fuck others over but I truly believe these people are the minority or at least HALF. I make an effort to trust people until they show me they shouldn't be trusted. I'm not going to let fuckheads make ME one of them or change the way I look at people. Yep, people still tend to disappoint me but more often than not, they surprise me in a good way. If you just take people as they come (neither in a positive nor a negative way) you're gonna find out one way or another... but I'd like people to take me as I come across... cos that's generally how I am. If they don't, well what am I supposed to do with that?

    That's a great thing to say. Sometimes I feel the same way... most of the time, I'm just cynical. :p

    Actually, I'm getting better as I get older.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    covered in bliss wrote:
    This is excellent. It also helps to try and understand why some people are so shitty to begin with. It's easier to forgive and/or overlook when you know where they are coming from and why they act the way they do.

    Thanks. That's an important bit of something I've learned over the years! :)
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  • PJ_SalukiPJ_Saluki Posts: 1,006
    Cynicism is OK as long as it's directed at its one's self as much as it is at others. If it isn't, it becomes hypocrisy.
    "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool." -- Charles Barkley
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    I've turned into one big time. I am the biggest cynic these days and don't know how to change this?
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

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