"Independence"

PearlsGirl

I used to be a gutsy girl back in the day, never afraid to go out and do things on my own. I used to go to shows by myself, movies, dinner, shopping, even travel by myself! Go to places that were a bit shady, and not even think twice about the type of people that were there. Now, these times, they have a changed. I am deathly afraid of going out by myself. I'm being a freakin' pussy about things, but seriously, I can't do it. For three years, I was forced to get used to roommates and friends who were constantly there. I had no room to breath, no personal time, no "independence." I just got so used to it that now, at the age of 24, I feel like I need someone with me, at all times. I got used to a guy always being there, my ex practically lived with me, annoying at the time. My stupid roommate used to sit at the foot of my bed and just talk, I would fall asleep to her yaking, never cared what she really had to say. I miss that now. I'm no longer that independent girl I used to be. This is freakish! I haven't gone shopping alone in years either! It's just so weird to me now. I am afraid to do things alone. This is so mind boggling to be, but at the same time, it's my reality.

Anyone else, after having someone there, at all moments in time, go through something similar when faced with being "independent" again? Or am I just a freak of nature. haha, probably a freak of nature. It's all a part of growing older I guess. AH!

justam

Give yourself a chance to get used to it.

Heineken Helen

PearlsGirl wrote:

Anyone else, after having someone there, at all moments in time, go through something similar when faced with being "independent" again? Or am I just a freak of nature. haha, probably a freak of nature. It's all a part of growing older I guess. AH!

hey, going out on your own can be pretty scary . When I started off, I had those thoughts... I was terrified to leave the house... but I managed to knock it on the head before it got out of control... and it got easier after that. I would get myself all worked up about just going to the bloody shop . Best thing to do is stop thinking about it... force it to the back of your mind. FORCE yourself to go out and do stuff, no matter how much it's going against your will. Maybe go shopping tomorrow. You probably WON'T enjoy it... but go a few days in a row... by the third day it'll be like you've been doing it all your life.

elmer

Heineken Helen wrote:

I was terrified to leave the house... I would get myself all worked up about just going to the bloody shop . Best thing to do is stop thinking about it...

sorry, but I just cracked up when I read this!! Didn't imagine you to have these neuroses.

When I used to venture out alone stoned the jitters would creep up onto me, felt people were staring, sense a vulnerability within myself, but I suppose that's not exactly the same. Although as I've grown older I have a greater emotional response to my immediate environment and weigh risk more in my head, maybe it's just natural in some people.

PearlsGirl: acquire one of these keyring alarm sounders, very loud you can get them and it'll provide a little peace of mind. But statistically I bet you're in a far greater risk situation travelling in a motor vehicle than walking any street, even at night.

Heineken Helen

elmer wrote:

sorry, but I just cracked up when I read this!! Didn't imagine you to have these neuroses.

When I used to venture out alone stoned the jitters would creep up onto me, felt people were staring, sense a vulnerability within myself, but I suppose that's not exactly the same. Although as I've grown older I have a greater emotional response to my immediate environment and weigh risk more in my head, maybe it's just natural in some people.

PearlsGirl: acquire one of these keyring alarm sounders, very loud you can get them and it'll provide a little peace of mind. But statistically I bet you're in a far greater risk situation travelling in a motor vehicle than walking any street, even at night.

I used to have it... I don't think anyone knew though cos, for a while it probably just seemed like I was a lazy slob who didn't do anything or go anywhere unless I had to... this is about 8 years ago when I lived in London. And the reality was, unless I HAD to go somewhere, I didn't go anywhere. I don't remember how long it lasted, think only a couple of months cos I realised if I didn't snap out of it it could get pretty bad. See I'd just moved over... it was my first time where I was pretty much alone and I'd have to find work and a place myself... it all just seemed so daunting that I thought it may be best just to leave it . Then I got a job in a pub which may have been the best thing that coulda happened to me. It's not that I felt people were staring but it's kinda hard to explain... more like oh I dunno... but definitely felt very vulnerable.