What Say, You?

dharma69

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

The End.

Vedderlution_Baby

dharma69 wrote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

The End.

And I here I am thinking that I was safe from stupid spam emails.

hippiemom

dharma69 wrote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

The End.

That poor Marine is clearly delusional, thinking not only that god is speaking to him, but that omnipotent being could ever be "too busy." Probably some sort of PTSD from the horrors he's had to endure in Iraq. I hope he gets the help he needs.

bootlegger10

Let's not argue about a made-up story.

Abookamongstthemany

bootlegger10 wrote:

Let's not argue about a made-up story.

There's no argument. We all thought it was corny.

dharma69

Vedderlution_Baby! wrote:

And I here I am thinking that I was safe from stupid spam emails.

Only in you dreams.

And here I thought this crowd could do better than this...

Vedderlution_Baby

dharma69 wrote:

Only in you dreams.

And here I thought this crowd could do better than this...

Yea, I must be dreaming if I think that the useless shit that I have to delete from my mailbox won't show up on the board. Need...to...wake....up

TheGossman

dharma69 wrote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

The End.

hey jerk, give me my 5 minutes back

inmytree

dharma69 wrote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

The End.

so, did god talk to the marine...? and if so, why did it let the professor live...? and what does the ACLU have to do with this...?

ledvedderman

So this soldier served in Iraq? Yet, he was fighting for our freedom of speech? Hmmmm. One thing I've noticed is my freedom of speech depleting since this snafu of a war began.

dharma69

TheGossman wrote:

hey jerk, give me my 5 minutes back

If it took you 5 minutes to read that, that is not my problem!

ledvedderman

dharma69 wrote:

If it took you 5 minutes to read that, that is not my problem!

He didn't say it took him 5 minutes to read this garbage. 1 minute (or less) to read, 4 minutes banging ones head on the desk because the story was so stupid. Add them up and you get 5 minutes, which he wants back.

keeponrockin

ledvedderman wrote:

He didn't say it took him 5 minutes to read this garbage. 1 minute (or less) to read, 4 minutes banging ones head on the desk because the story was so stupid. Add them up and you get 5 minutes, which he wants back.

~ZING~

Anyways, that was pointless.

Hope&Anger

dharma69 wrote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

The End.

I think this is insulting to the Marine.

My favorite Army Captain was in the military police, guarding convoys in and out of Fallujah during the siege there. In his training for the military police, the instructors were teaching students how to get suspects to waive their Miranda rights and talk to the police without a lawyer present -- pretty standard for police training programs everywhere.

He told his instructors that he wouldn't do it. When asked why, he said that he joined the army to protect people's constitutional freedoms and he wasn't about to trick people out of enjoying those freedoms. (He's my idol, by the way -- and probably the bravest human being I know.)

Not only didn't he find this joke funny, he found it pretty insulting. So I'll go with his instincts in the matter.

keeponrockin

Hope&Anger wrote:

I think this is insulting to the Marine.

My favorite Army Captain was in the military police, guarding convoys in and out of Fallujah during the siege there. In his training for the military police, the instructors were teaching students how to get suspects to waive their Miranda rights and talk to the police without a lawyer present -- pretty standard for police training programs everywhere.

He told his instructors that he wouldn't do it. When asked why, he said that he joined the army to protect people's constitutional freedoms and he wasn't about to trick people out of enjoying those freedoms. (He's my idol, by the way -- and probably the bravest human being I know.)

Not only didn't he find this joke funny, he found it pretty insulting. So I'll go with his instincts in the matter.

Thats really cool. He is brave!

dharma69

ledvedderman wrote:

He didn't say it took him 5 minutes to read this garbage. 1 minute (or less) to read, 4 minutes banging ones head on the desk because the story was so stupid. Add them up and you get 5 minutes, which he wants back.

Must be great to be psychic.

But either way, "stupid" story or no, I think most of us know that this is a tale...a fairytale. And like most fairytales, they were created to teach a lesson, a value, a moral or a point. You either get it, you don't get it or you don't care to get it. Any perspective is valid as long as you believe it.

Got it? Because I wouldn't want you or anyone else to injure themselves by recklessly banging their heads on a desk.

rebornFixer

alright ... I agree with that guy from the other day. This place really does need a sense of humour.

Hope&Anger

reborncareerist wrote:

alright ... I agree with that guy from the other day. This place really does need a sense of humour.

Oh, but it wasn't a joke. It was a fairy tale created to teach a lesson, a value, or a moral . . . to teach all of us godless liberals who believe in civil liberties about sacrifices which we don't appreciate.

And let's just agree that the senses of humor on this board come and go depending on who's ox is getting gored at the time.

rebornFixer

Hope&Anger wrote:

Oh, but it wasn't a joke. It was a fairy tale created to teach a lesson, a value, or a moral . . . to teach all of us godless liberals who believe in civil liberties about sacrifices which we don't appreciate.

And let's just agree that the senses of humor on this board come and go depending on who's ox is getting gored at the time.

Maybe so ... But it did make me laugh.

Ahnimus

dharma69 wrote:

Must be great to be psychic.

But either way, "stupid" story or no, I think most of us know that this is a tale...a fairytale. And like most fairytales, they were created to teach a lesson, a value, a moral or a point. You either get it, you don't get it or you don't care to get it. Any perspective is valid as long as you believe it.

Got it? Because I wouldn't want you or anyone else to injure themselves by recklessly banging their heads on a desk.

What is the moral?

If you don't believe in God some bigot will kick your ass?

Perhaps you can explain.

dharma69

Ahnimus wrote:

What is the moral?

If you don't believe in God some bigot will kick your ass?

Perhaps you can explain.

No I can't explain....and I don't want to.

That's why the thread is called "What Say You?" You've all got perfectly good working brains and can form your own opinions of what the point or moral is...good, bad or indifferent.

Vedderlution_Baby

Hey dude! Sorry I acted like a dick yesterday. Shoulda just kept my mouth shut. Or...my fingers from typing?

prljam85

dharma69 wrote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."

The End.

thats great! thats what these anti-American commie college professors deserve. I would love to see that happen in class to these nut job professors who have one of the best jobs in the country but trash America, promote socialism, and denounce God.

Ahnimus

prljam85 wrote:

thats great! thats what these anti-American commie college professors deserve. I would love to see that happen in class to these nut job professors who have one of the best jobs in the country but trash America, promote socialism, and denounce God.

Teachers shouldn't be voicing their political or religious orientations in class, unless it's related to the instruction. Either way, I find no acceptable trigger to violence.

Perhaps the moral is: Don't reference God in school, unless it's a theology class.

Though it seems it's from the perspective of a supporter of the Iraq war. The teacher's scene didn't make reference to Iraq or U.S. Soldiers at all. The Marine obviously had suffered Post Traumatic Stress and was set off by the reference to God.

So, perhaps another moral is: War has detrimental effects on the human psyche. War Veterans should be rehabilitated before reinsertion into society.

inmytree

prljam85 wrote:

thats great! thats what these anti-American commie college professors deserve. I would love to see that happen in class to these nut job professors who have one of the best jobs in the country but trash America, promote socialism, and denounce God.

great point...this fairytale promotes the use of violence against anyone who does not believe in or speaks out against god...

chisto-fasicism....nice!

Kann

dharma69 wrote:

Must be great to be psychic.

But either way, "stupid" story or no, I think most of us know that this is a tale...a fairytale. And like most fairytales, they were created to teach a lesson, a value, a moral or a point. You either get it, you don't get it or you don't care to get it. Any perspective is valid as long as you believe it.

Got it? Because I wouldn't want you or anyone else to injure themselves by recklessly banging their heads on a desk.

But what is your explanation, what did this tale teach you?
Some possibilities :

* marines work for god
* god likes americans having free speach
* god fights wars too, alongside with american soldier
My personal favorite though is speaking about religion generally leads to outbursts of violence.

SoonForgotten2

dharma69 wrote:

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

Completed his missions... that made me laugh, thanks.

But I love how beleiving in civil liberties is seen as a bad thing by some of you wacky Americans. And by the by, no one in Iraq was threatening your rights or mine to say stupid shit. Actually, displaying such religious fanaticism, that soldier could have very well fought for either side during his "missions", don't you think?

dharma69

Vedderlution_Baby! wrote:

Hey dude! Sorry I acted like a dick yesterday. Shoulda just kept my mouth shut. Or...my fingers from typing?

I'm a "dudette" (if that's in any way proper)....;)

And no worries.

dharma69

Kann wrote:

But what is your explanation, what did this tale teach you?
Some possibilities :

* marines work for god
* god likes americans having free speach
* god fights wars too, alongside with american soldier
My personal favorite though is speaking about religion generally leads to outbursts of violence.

I'd seen this a few days ago and my initial reaction was something akin to "hell yeah!" But then I got over it.So after sitting on it for a day or so I posted it here....and I'm still pretty ambivalent towards it.

*Marines work for God....no.
*God likes Americans having free speech....yes.
*God fights wars, too....no. S/He's smarter than we are.

If nothing else, I do think religion should be kept out of the classrooms...unless it's the class, itself or a point of reference. Not irrational speak trying irk people just because they don't think as you do.

Either way, this tale screams of intolerance on both sides.

Jackhammer

To make a long story short, I don't believe in any form of gods, holy writings or that kind of stuff, and I still believe religion is a private matter, which shouldn't be thrown at the face of everyone at every meaningless occassion, like x-mas and such.

Second, I made some research on the topic, since I'm working on a story.

The point is, yes, the christian God does make war, and kills millions of people a few times only in the old/new testaments. Just ask yourselves why does God has a general of divine armies (Michael, for that matter).

Hmmm... Religion, you gotta love it

Byrnzie

dharma69 wrote:

"God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers..."

Tell that to the 2800 dead soldiers and the countless thousands of others who are now maimed for life.