late night jokes(political)
The Waiting Trophy Man
Posts: 12,158
"Last night during his live speech, President Bush spoke directly to Osama bin Laden and said, 'No matter how long it takes, America will find you.' Then the president uncovered his eyes and said, 'Ready or not, here I come.'." --Conan O'Brien
"The Senate Intelligence Committee -- that almost sounds like an oxymoron -- released a report this week saying there's no evidence that Saddam Hussein had a relationship with al Qaeda. Thank God we found that out before we did something crazy." --Jay Leno
"Al Gore made a big announcement over the weekend. He said he hasn't ruled out running for president. He might do it one more time, just try it one last time. Tipper finally said, 'Honey, just pay the pizza boy and let him go'." --Jay Leno
"This weekend it's going to be all programming to commemorate the fifth anniversary of 9/11. All the networks are getting into it. CBS is showing their 9/11 documentary. And ABC has their 'Path to 9/11' docudrama. And, of course, Fox is going with Ryan Seacrest's 'Rockin 9/11 Countdown.'." --Bill Maher
"The controversial one is this ABC one, 'The Path to 9/11.' The original title was 'Sheiks on a Plane.' This is controversial because apparently, it's very heavily slanted and it blames 9/11 on Bill Clinton. It makes Bush out to be a saint, which is kind of ridiculous because if Bush is gonna be on any ABC program, it should be 'Lost.'." --Bill Maher
"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's is in trouble because he said Cubans and Puerto Ricans are hot-blooded. Arnold said, 'Sorry, when I made those comments, I assumed no one would understand what I was saying'." --Conan O'Brien
"According to this 9/11 docudrama, which ended tonight, they said when Bill Clinton was president he couldn't concentrate on fighting al Qaeda because the Monica Lewinsky scandal was such a huge distraction. He would hold regular meetings with his advisers, but there was always that elephant in the room." --Jay Leno
"The Senate Intelligence Committee -- that almost sounds like an oxymoron -- released a report this week saying there's no evidence that Saddam Hussein had a relationship with al Qaeda. Thank God we found that out before we did something crazy." --Jay Leno
"Al Gore made a big announcement over the weekend. He said he hasn't ruled out running for president. He might do it one more time, just try it one last time. Tipper finally said, 'Honey, just pay the pizza boy and let him go'." --Jay Leno
"This weekend it's going to be all programming to commemorate the fifth anniversary of 9/11. All the networks are getting into it. CBS is showing their 9/11 documentary. And ABC has their 'Path to 9/11' docudrama. And, of course, Fox is going with Ryan Seacrest's 'Rockin 9/11 Countdown.'." --Bill Maher
"The controversial one is this ABC one, 'The Path to 9/11.' The original title was 'Sheiks on a Plane.' This is controversial because apparently, it's very heavily slanted and it blames 9/11 on Bill Clinton. It makes Bush out to be a saint, which is kind of ridiculous because if Bush is gonna be on any ABC program, it should be 'Lost.'." --Bill Maher
"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's is in trouble because he said Cubans and Puerto Ricans are hot-blooded. Arnold said, 'Sorry, when I made those comments, I assumed no one would understand what I was saying'." --Conan O'Brien
"According to this 9/11 docudrama, which ended tonight, they said when Bill Clinton was president he couldn't concentrate on fighting al Qaeda because the Monica Lewinsky scandal was such a huge distraction. He would hold regular meetings with his advisers, but there was always that elephant in the room." --Jay Leno
Another habit says it's in love with you
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
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http://www.wishlistfoundation.org
Oh my, they dropped the leash.
Morgan Freeman/Clint Eastwood 08' for President!
"Make our day"
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
http://www.wishlistfoundation.org
Oh my, they dropped the leash.
Morgan Freeman/Clint Eastwood 08' for President!
"Make our day"
A whisper and a chill
adv2005
"Why do I bother?"
The 11th Commandment.
"Whatever"
PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
lol
Untill their will grows tired
Sammi: Wanna just break up?