re: late night jokes
The Waiting Trophy Man
Posts: 12,158
"This Sunday, the New Orleans Saints, with running back Reggie Bush, will play their first home game since Hurricane Katrina in the Superdome against the Falcons. It will also be the first time in recent memory the people of New Orleans be will cheering someone named Bush." --Jay Leno
"The Venezuelan President went to the U.N. and called Bush the devil. You could tell Bush was offended, because his tail stopped wagging. Bush said, 'I would love to answer your ridiculous charge that I'm the devil, but I'm a little too busy this week trying to unite my party behind torturing people.'." --Bill Maher
"Not only that ... the president of Venezuela called Bush the devil. Then today, he called him a cowboy. President Bush was upset and said, 'He's making it really hard for me to choose my Halloween costume.'" --Conan O'Brien
"The leader of Hezbollah appeared in public today for the first time since the cease-fire with Israel. He told the Lebanese people, 'I feel your pain.' You know, that's Bill Clinton's line. You can't call us the 'Great Satan' and then steal all of our president's lines. And then he went on to say, 'I did not have sexual relations with that goat.'." --Jay Leno
"The U.N. says that there is more torture going on in Iraq than when Saddam was in power. Bush shot back. He said, 'That is just the opinion of one individual who doesn't know the difference between regular torture and freedom torture.'." --Bill Maher
"Bush denied the whole thing. He said he was taken aback by this. He said, 'This is the first time I've heard about it, as I read it in the paper.' I believe him. Bush is a busy man -- he can't be expected to remember every single country he threatens to annihilate." --Bill Maher
"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he will no longer drive a Hummer. Arnold said, 'I want to find a more environmentally friendly way to look like an a-hole.'." --Conan O'Brien
"It's the Jewish New Year today…At midnight from Time's Square, they're going to drop Mel Gibson." --David Letterman
"Bill O'Reilly is apparently on al Qaeda's death list. al Qaeda said they don't even think of him as an infidel. They just want to cut off his head, so he'll shut up." --Bill Maher
"The number one and number two best selling books on the Amazon list are attacks on President Bush. Both books call him incompetent and a liar. I tell you something, if President Bush read books, he'd be furious." --Jay Leno
"Radical Muslims are still angry at the Pope. They say the Pope insulted a whole people and their religion. Then they went back to calling for the destruction of Israel and killing everyone." --Jay Leno
"The Vatican has increased protection around the Pope. How ironic is that -- A Catholic using protection?" --Jay Leno
"The Venezuelan President went to the U.N. and called Bush the devil. You could tell Bush was offended, because his tail stopped wagging. Bush said, 'I would love to answer your ridiculous charge that I'm the devil, but I'm a little too busy this week trying to unite my party behind torturing people.'." --Bill Maher
"Not only that ... the president of Venezuela called Bush the devil. Then today, he called him a cowboy. President Bush was upset and said, 'He's making it really hard for me to choose my Halloween costume.'" --Conan O'Brien
"The leader of Hezbollah appeared in public today for the first time since the cease-fire with Israel. He told the Lebanese people, 'I feel your pain.' You know, that's Bill Clinton's line. You can't call us the 'Great Satan' and then steal all of our president's lines. And then he went on to say, 'I did not have sexual relations with that goat.'." --Jay Leno
"The U.N. says that there is more torture going on in Iraq than when Saddam was in power. Bush shot back. He said, 'That is just the opinion of one individual who doesn't know the difference between regular torture and freedom torture.'." --Bill Maher
"Bush denied the whole thing. He said he was taken aback by this. He said, 'This is the first time I've heard about it, as I read it in the paper.' I believe him. Bush is a busy man -- he can't be expected to remember every single country he threatens to annihilate." --Bill Maher
"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he will no longer drive a Hummer. Arnold said, 'I want to find a more environmentally friendly way to look like an a-hole.'." --Conan O'Brien
"It's the Jewish New Year today…At midnight from Time's Square, they're going to drop Mel Gibson." --David Letterman
"Bill O'Reilly is apparently on al Qaeda's death list. al Qaeda said they don't even think of him as an infidel. They just want to cut off his head, so he'll shut up." --Bill Maher
"The number one and number two best selling books on the Amazon list are attacks on President Bush. Both books call him incompetent and a liar. I tell you something, if President Bush read books, he'd be furious." --Jay Leno
"Radical Muslims are still angry at the Pope. They say the Pope insulted a whole people and their religion. Then they went back to calling for the destruction of Israel and killing everyone." --Jay Leno
"The Vatican has increased protection around the Pope. How ironic is that -- A Catholic using protection?" --Jay Leno
Another habit says it's in love with you
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
Another habit says its long overdue
Another habit like an unwanted friend
I'm so happy with my righteous self
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