Armless, one-legged driver sentenced to prison

SuzannePjamSuzannePjam Posts: 411
edited August 2007 in A Moving Train
This is such a wacky story I had to post it. And how do you kick a state trooper when you only have one leg?? :D

Armless, one-legged driver sentenced to prison
Florida man to serve 5 years on felony drug, driving charges

NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. - A man with no arms and one leg who wouldn't stop driving despite a long list of traffic violations was sentenced to five years in prison Friday on felony driving and drug charges.
Michael Francis Wiley, 40, also was sentenced to 15 years of drug offender probation. He pleaded no contest in June to the charges.
"I'd just like to say I know what I did was wrong," Wiley said in court Friday. "I am truly sorry, your honor. I am."
Wiley taught himself to drive after losing both arms and a leg in an electrical accident when he was 13. He has already spent more than three years in prison for habitually driving without a license, kicking a state trooper and other charges.
He once had a valid license, but it has been suspended several times since 1985, according to his attorney. He starts the car with his toes, shifts with his knee and steers with the stump of his left arm. He turns on the lights with his teeth.
In his most recent brush with the law last May, Wiley sped off in a Ford Explorer when police approached him at a convenience store, officials said. Officers pursued but called off the chase after eight minutes because they did not want to put others in danger, police said.
Defense attorney John Hooker pleaded for leniency and the minimum sentence of 2 1/2 years. He cited his client's need for treatment for his many physical and mental health problems, including anxiety, panic attacks, depression and a pain disorder related to his amputations.
In a recent interview with the Associated Press, Wiley said he's done driving.
"I'm beat. The white flag is up," he said. "You can only bang your head against the wall so long before it hurts."
"Where there is sacrifice there is someone collecting the sacrificial offerings."-- Ayn Rand

"Some of my friends sit around every evening and they worry about the times ahead,
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed..."-- Elvis Costello
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • jeffbrjeffbr Seattle Posts: 7,177
    It sounds like The Black Knight is alive and living in New Port Richey, Florida!
    As Arthur and Patsy start to ride past the black knight, he suddenly speaks:

    Black Knight: NONE SHALL PASS.
    Arthur: (taken aback) What?
    Black Knight: NONE SHALL PASS.
    Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good sir knight, but I must cross
    this bridge.
    Black Knight: THEN YOU SHALL DIE.
    Arthur: I *command* you, as king of the Britons, to stand aside.
    Black Knight: I MOVE FOR NO MAN.
    Arthur: So be it! (draws sword)

    A short battle ensues, where Arthur, relatively unencumbered by armor, easily
    dodges the slow and heavy strikes by the black knight. Finally, Arthur
    dodges a strike, steps aside, and cuts the black knight's left arm off with
    his sword. Blood spurts from the knight's open shoulder.

    Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
    Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
    Arthur: A SCRATCH? Your arm's off!
    Black Knight: No it isn't!
    Arthur: Well what's that then? (pointing to the arm lying on the ground)
    Black Knight: I've had worse.
    Arthur: You LIAR!
    Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!

    There follows an even shorter foray, at the end of which Arthur easily cuts
    off the black knight's right arm, causing it and the black knight's sword to
    drop to the ground. Blood spatters freely from the stump.

    Arthur: Victory is mine!
    (kneeling, praying) We thank thee Lord, that in thy mercy--

    He is kicked onto his side by the black knight.

    Black Knight: Come on, then! (kicks Arthur again)
    Arthur: (on the ground) What?!?
    Black Knight: (kicking him again) Have at you!
    Arthur: (getting up) You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight
    is mine!
    Black Knight: Ohhh, had enough, eh?
    Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
    Black Knight: Yes I have!
    Arthur: LOOK!!!
    Black Knight: Just a flesh wound! (kicking Arthur again)
    Arthur: Look, STOP that!
    Black Knight: Chicken!!! Chicken!!!!!!!
    Arthur: Look, I'll have your leg!
    (The Black Knight continues his kicking)
    Arthur: RIGHT! (He chops off the black knight's leg with his sword)
    Black Knight: (hopping) Right! I'll do you for that!
    Arthur: You'll *WHAT*?
    Black Knight: Come 'ere!
    Arthur: (tiring of this) What're you going to do, bleed on me?
    Black Knight: I'm *INVINCIBLE*!!!
    Arthur: You're a looney....
    Black Knight: The Black Knight ALWAYS TRIUMPHS! Have at you!!
    (hopping around, trying to kick Arthur with his one remaining
    leg)

    Arthur shrugs his shoulders and, with a mighty swing, removes the Black
    Knight's last limb. The Knight falls to the ground. He looks about,
    realizing he can't move.

    Black Knight: Okay, we'll call it a draw.
    Arthur: Come, Pasty! (they "ride" away)

    Black Knight: (calling after them) Oh! Had enough, eh? Come back and take
    what's coming to you, you yellow bastards!! Come back here and
    take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!
    "I'll use the magic word - let's just shut the fuck up, please." EV, 04/13/08
  • JuberooJuberoo Posts: 472
    What is sad is that this man COULD be driving with the right prosthetics.
    Makes much more sense, to live in the present tense.

    A truly liberal person is conservative when necessary.

    Pro-life by choice.
  • jeffbr wrote:
    It sounds like The Black Knight is alive and living in New Port Richey, Florida!

    LOL! Good one. I love that movie!
    "Where there is sacrifice there is someone collecting the sacrificial offerings."-- Ayn Rand

    "Some of my friends sit around every evening and they worry about the times ahead,
    But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed..."-- Elvis Costello
  • lucylespianlucylespian Posts: 2,403
    There was a guy in Bundy without arms who drove.

    HIs licence plate was .................














    00-ARM !!




















    LOL !!!!
    Music is not a competetion.
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    Juberoo wrote:
    What is sad is that this man COULD be driving with the right prosthetics.
    Yeah you're right. My dad drove without legs with hand controls and that was in the 50's. The drugs might be a problem though. :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • sweetpotatosweetpotato Posts: 1,278
    "A man with no arms and one leg who wouldn't stop driving..."

    Sorry, but this part alone just cracks me up. Can you say, "Time for a Bus Pass??"
    "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Barack Obama."

    "Obama's main opponent in this election on November 4th (was) not John McCain, it (was) ignorance."~Michael Moore

    "i'm feeling kinda righteous right now. with my badass motherfuckin' ukulele!"
    ~ed, 8/7
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