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A wager

FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
edited August 2007 in A Moving Train
You're homeless, starving, lying in the gutter. Your cheeks are sallow, you haven't eaten for days, rats are crawling in your coat pockets, building nests and searching for body lice. Your teeth are loose. The sun is blinding. You get a sense of the great white light and tunnel ahead, but beyond it is really eternal hellfire and damnation for you. You feel yourself going, the light is bleaching everything into nothingness. And then ... and then ...

... The two blokes out of Fantasy Island appear from nowhere, standing above you in the alley in their identical white suits. The tall fella, Ricardo Montebloncas or whatever, says, "Congratulations! You have been especially chosen, my friend, to rise up and leave this world of wrongs, but remain a mortal. A rich mortal. If you will agree to our terms, would you like us to take you to your own rich island mansion, feed you the finest food, give you the best wine, fix your teeth into the shiniest smile, surround you with beautiful, fit women to perform your every carnal desire at will, and the little guy Herves to polish your shoes and fetch your private plane for you. But all you have to do is, ya know, hang out with Dubya. Get to know him. To bond with him. To know him as a man. To share his long, deep, dark nights of the soul. To hold his hand in times of trouble. To whisper those loving words of reassurance. To hug him when the going gets tough. To be his staunchest ally. And ... his ... friend."


Would ya do it? There's $300 billion on this.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    Throw in the voice of Tom Jones and I'd do it.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    as long as i have unlimited weed and tequila and bush is the leader of nothing, count me in....;) :D
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    cutback wrote:
    as long as i have unlimited weed and tequila and bush is the leader of nothing, count me in....;) :D


    Oh, he's the Commander in Chief, Laura is in the spare room, and you have to share a bed with him, and Barney the dog. Did I not mention that part?

    Edit: Only at summit meetings, mind. You've got to go shooting with Cheney every other weekend.
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Oh, he's the Commander in Chief, Laura is in the spare room, and you have to share a bed with him, and Barney the dog. Did I not mention that part?


    if that's the case, then i'll need litres of acid and mescal......what about the daughters? i mean, besides the billions, shouldn't I get something out of this? ;):D:D
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    cutback wrote:
    if that's the case, then i'll need litres of acid and mescal......what about the daughters? i mean, besides the billions, shouldn't I get something out of this? ;):D:D


    Crabs?
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Crabs?


    well that's a given......;)
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    yuck....hold dubya's hand? talk about a fate worse than death
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • nickcat0nickcat0 Posts: 75
    If you're asking me to be a "friend" , just to talk to him , then yes .

    If you're suggesting I'm some sort of lover , then no way .
    Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
    9/9/06
    Everton 3 RS 0
  • hippiemomhippiemom Posts: 3,326
    Fuck no! Definitely a fate worse than death.

    Besides, women can't fulfill my carnal desires, so I'm not all that interested in the offer to begin with.
    "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    Not a chance,

    but since Montleban is there offering, I may try to negotiate a different wager over a game of who can catch and eat the most rats in one hour.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/G/bush_jesus_christ.jpg
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/G/bush_jesus_christ.jpg

    I'm not religious, but I think that could be termed blasphemous.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • Hope&AngerHope&Anger Posts: 260
    The idea that he has "long, deep, dark nights of the soul" is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

    If he were that self-conscious, if he had only an ounce of conscience that kept him awake, we wouldn't be in this horrible place we are now.
    "Things will just get better and better even though it
    doesn't feel that way right now. That's the hopeful
    idea . . . Hope didn't get much applause . . .
    Hope! Hope is the underdog!"

    -- EV, Live at the Showbox
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Oh, he's the Commander in Chief

    He wouldn't stay in power very long if he was friends with me...
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Collin wrote:
    He wouldn't stay in power very long if he was friends with me...


    You'd lose the $300 billion! Back to the alleyway, drinking from a puddle of Boone's Farm!
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Hope&Anger wrote:
    The idea that he has "long, deep, dark nights of the soul" is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

    If he were that self-conscious, if he had only an ounce of conscience that kept him awake, we wouldn't be in this horrible place we are now.

    Yep, he's troubled by deep, dark thoughts. Whether he can get his favourite pretzels when he's over in Geneva, and whether he'll finish his colouring book before his crayons run out (he's in the middle of colouring a lovely fluffy wabbit).
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    hippiemom wrote:
    Fuck no! Definitely a fate worse than death.

    Besides, women can't fulfill my carnal desires, so I'm not all that interested in the offer to begin with.

    Er, in your case, we'll supply male model firefighters, then. :D
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Would ya do it? There's $300 billion on this.

    no. just the thought of dubya makes my skin crawl and my blood pressure rise dangerously high.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    Interesting question fins. My first response was "hell no I hate that bastard and no amount of money would be enough for me to spend time with him", but thinking it through some more quite possibly I would purely for the opportunity to get close to the bastard and wipe him from the face of the planet. And I could use the money for good instead of evil. I have to think about it some more. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    Jeanie wrote:
    Interesting question fins. My first response was "hell no I hate that bastard and no amount of money would be enough for me to spend time with him", but thinking it through some more quite possibly I would purely for the opportunity to get close to the bastard and wipe him from the face of the planet. And I could use the money for good instead of evil. I have to think about it some more. :)

    umm jeanie...APEC meeting next month in sydney. dubya's gonna be there. rumour has it, he's even rocking up early so protestors can get more loving in. care to join me in a spot of civil disobedience. :D
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    catefrances wrote:
    umm jeanie...APEC meeting next month in sydney. dubya's gonna be there. rumour has it, he's even rocking up early so protestors can get more loving in. care to join me in a spot of civil disobedience. :D

    Yeah, sounds highly tempting cate, but I'm thinking I'll be QLD around the time he shows up in NSW. How convenient for me! ;)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    catefrances wrote:
    no. just the thought of dubya makes my skin crawl and my blood pressure rise dangerously high.


    Yeah, but there are doctors in Texas who can fix dat. :D
  • KatKat Posts: 4,904
    no
    Falling down,...not staying down
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Kat wrote:
    no


    There's a woman of principle, right there! :D
  • kinetickinetic Posts: 148
    Fins,

    I'm just curious...

    HOW did you get an advance copy of Dick Cheney's autobiography????
    When you're married, you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    gue_barium wrote:
    I'm not religious, but I think that could be termed blasphemous.

    Sadly enough I honestly, and truly, believe that is what Bush sees( http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/G/bush_jesus_christ.jpg ) when he looks in the mirror or closes his eyes...

    and I'm not joking at all unfortunately.

    ask any Palestinian or Iraqi
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • CorporateWhoreCorporateWhore Posts: 1,890
    Of course I would do that. That'd be money!
    All I know is that to see, and not to speak, would be the great betrayal.
    -Enoch Powell
  • TrailerTrailer Posts: 1,431
    CorporateWhore wrote:
    Of course I would do that. That'd be money!

    Same here... $300 billion? I'd be friends with him in a heartbeat! Then I'd buy my own private island-- maybe I'd buy Kuaui and kick everyone out:D
    Whoa, chill bro... you know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    there are easier ways to make a buck. ;)
    so, no.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    I do it just to push him down a long flight of stairs....screw the money...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
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