Bush Quietly Rolls Back Iraq Death Toll To Zero

Milhouse VanHoutenMilhouse VanHouten Posts: 755
edited July 2006 in A Moving Train
Bush Quietly Rolls Back Iraq Death Toll To Zero
July 18, 2006 | Issue 42•29


BAGHDAD—Nearly two weeks after President Bush's surprise visit to Iraq, the first American combat death in the region has occurred, military sources revealed Monday. "I could have sworn that almost 2,500 American servicemen and women had sacrificed their lives in this theater of operation, but the death toll counter here in my office read 'zero' this morning, and that's what we go by," said Gen. George W. Casey Jr., commander of U.S. forces in Iraq, after announcing the casualty, which took place outside Fallujah on Sunday. "No one's been in the room but myself and the president, so I guess I was mistaken. Which is a relief." The soldier whose death marked the tragic milestone, Army Spc. Jason Hopkinson of Butte, MT, will be memorialized with a monument in Arlington National Cemetery, next to the 2003 monument commemorating the previous first American to die in Iraq.
"Of course it hurts. You're getting fucked by an elephant."
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Comments

  • I find myself scratching my head on this one. I don't really get it. Am I surprised, though? Nope.
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    im speechless
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    the sad thing is that with most onion articles you can actually tell that they are fake... this sadly could be real.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • sorry, i failed to mention the fact that the piece is copied/pasted from The Onion.
    "Of course it hurts. You're getting fucked by an elephant."
  • gabersgabers Posts: 2,787
    sorry, i failed to mention the fact that the piece is copied/pasted from The Onion.

    Yeah, that makes slight difference in its validity. :)
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