Politics Explained

PJfanFORlife
PJfanFORlife Posts: 138
edited April 2007 in A Moving Train
lol......

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Guess I'll trn on music instead...

ccfa.org

http://organicconsumers.com/
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Rats of Multa
    Rats of Multa Posts: 250
    hahaha,.. thanks.
    we don’t know just where our bones will rest,
    to dust i guess,
    forgotten and absorbed into the earth below,..
  • farfromglorified
    farfromglorified Posts: 5,700
    Cute.

    I really like it because the Libertarian/Anarcho-capitalist's get off easy ;)
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    farfromglorified wrote:
    Cute.

    I really like it because the Libertarian/Anarcho-capitalist's get off easy ;)

    As it should be. :)
  • farfromglorified
    farfromglorified Posts: 5,700
    cutback wrote:
    As it should be. :)

    :)

    Of course!
  • Restless Soul
    Restless Soul Posts: 805
    I just posted this the other day lol. Slightly different version though I think.

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=238262
    "We have to change the concept of patriotism to one of “matriotism” — love of humanity that transcends war. A matriarch would never send her own children off to wars that kill other people’s children." Cindy Sheehan
    ---
    London, Brixton, 14 July 1993
    London, Wembley, 1996
    London, Wembley, 18 June 2007
    London, O2, 18 August 2009
    London, Hammersmith Apollo (Ed solo), 31 July 2012
    Milton Keynes Bowl, 11 July 2014
    London, Hammersmith Apollo (Ed solo), 06 June 2017
    London, O2, 18 June 2018
    London, O2, 17 July 2018
    Amsterdam, Afas Live (Ed solo), 09 June 2019
    Amsterdam, Afas Live (Ed solo), 10 June 2019



  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    Restless Soul wrote:
    I just posted this the other day lol. Slightly different version though I think.

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=238262

    :D
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


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  • OutOfBreath
    OutOfBreath Posts: 1,804
    farfromglorified wrote:
    Cute.

    I really like it because the Libertarian/Anarcho-capitalist's get off easy ;)
    As does the pure communists. :)

    Amusing list nonetheless, especially the bureaucratic one. Well, back to applying for bureaucratic jobs. :p

    Peace
    Dan
    "YOU [humans] NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?" - Death

    "Every judgment teeters on the brink of error. To claim absolute knowledge is to become monstrous. Knowledge is an unending adventure at the edge of uncertainty." - Frank Herbert, Dune, 1965
  • farfromglorified
    farfromglorified Posts: 5,700
    OutOfBreath wrote:
    As does the pure communists. :)

    Amusing list nonetheless, especially the bureaucratic one. Well, back to applying for bureaucratic jobs. :p

    Peace
    Dan

    Yeah, but we all know it really goes like this:

    "PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. You don't even like milk. Gatorade is illegal."

    ;)
  • OutOfBreath
    OutOfBreath Posts: 1,804
    farfromglorified wrote:
    Yeah, but we all know it really goes like this:

    "PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. You don't even like milk. Gatorade is illegal."

    ;)
    As it should be. It tastes bad, and is unhealthy!
    Yum, milk. Think of all the dairy products: yoghurt, sour cream, cheese...
    Milk to the people! :D

    Peace
    Dan
    "YOU [humans] NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?" - Death

    "Every judgment teeters on the brink of error. To claim absolute knowledge is to become monstrous. Knowledge is an unending adventure at the edge of uncertainty." - Frank Herbert, Dune, 1965
  • gue_barium
    gue_barium Posts: 5,515
    So...how did all these individuals get two cows in the first place?
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • farfromglorified
    farfromglorified Posts: 5,700
    OutOfBreath wrote:
    As it should be. It tastes bad, and is unhealthy!
    Yum, milk. Think of all the dairy products: yoghurt, sour cream, cheese...
    Milk to the people! :D

    Peace
    Dan

    Hehe....I'll tell you where you can put your yoghurt....

    But the cheese I can get on board with ;)
  • OutOfBreath
    OutOfBreath Posts: 1,804
    farfromglorified wrote:
    Hehe....I'll tell you where you can put your yoghurt....

    But the cheese I can get on board with ;)
    Dont slam yoghurt, man. Couple of spoons of the stuff, and my bowels knock right back into gear, no matter how congested I might feel. Plus you can make ice-cream with it.

    On the whole, I'd say milk outranks gatorade in so many ways, and has so many more uses. So there. :)

    Peace
    Dan
    "YOU [humans] NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?" - Death

    "Every judgment teeters on the brink of error. To claim absolute knowledge is to become monstrous. Knowledge is an unending adventure at the edge of uncertainty." - Frank Herbert, Dune, 1965
  • farfromglorified
    farfromglorified Posts: 5,700
    OutOfBreath wrote:
    Dont slam yoghurt, man. Couple of spoons of the stuff, and my bowels knock right back into gear, no matter how congested I might feel. Plus you can make ice-cream with it.

    This may have been a little more information than I needed.
    On the whole, I'd say milk outranks gatorade in so many ways, and has so many more uses. So there. :)

    Hehe....

    PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You shoot the one that doesn't have "many more uses".
  • OutOfBreath
    OutOfBreath Posts: 1,804
    farfromglorified wrote:
    This may have been a little more information than I needed.
    I know. The ice cream was uncalled for.
    Hehe....

    PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You shoot the one that doesn't have "many more uses".
    Or rather "would you have cows or gatorade?" No sense shooting one of the cows making the precious milk now is there. There'll be less milk.

    Anyway, I'm not really a communist, but feel like arguing nothings today :)

    Peace
    Dan
    "YOU [humans] NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?" - Death

    "Every judgment teeters on the brink of error. To claim absolute knowledge is to become monstrous. Knowledge is an unending adventure at the edge of uncertainty." - Frank Herbert, Dune, 1965
  • farfromglorified
    farfromglorified Posts: 5,700
    OutOfBreath wrote:
    I know. The ice cream was uncalled for.

    Ha! You should have left the bowels stuff out. The ice cream was the money argument there.
    Or rather "would you have cows or gatorade?" No sense shooting one of the cows making the precious milk now is there. There'll be less milk.

    God forbid one the cows gets sick or something. Or evolves and invents Gatorade. You communists have itchy trigger fingers.
    Anyway, I'm not really a communist, but feel like arguing nothings today :)

    Filthy lies!
  • OutOfBreath
    OutOfBreath Posts: 1,804
    farfromglorified wrote:
    Ha! You should have left the bowels stuff out. The ice cream was the money argument there.
    Depends on the target audience I guess ;)
    God forbid one the cows gets sick or something. Or evolves and invents Gatorade. You communists have itchy trigger fingers.
    While anarchists are just crazy... ;)
    Filthy lies!
    Never!

    Anyway. Dinner. Make. Now. :D

    Peace
    Dan
    "YOU [humans] NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?" - Death

    "Every judgment teeters on the brink of error. To claim absolute knowledge is to become monstrous. Knowledge is an unending adventure at the edge of uncertainty." - Frank Herbert, Dune, 1965
  • Pacomc79
    Pacomc79 Posts: 9,404
    OutOfBreath wrote:
    Dont slam yoghurt, man. Couple of spoons of the stuff, and my bowels knock right back into gear, no matter how congested I might feel. Plus you can make ice-cream with it.

    On the whole, I'd say milk outranks gatorade in so many ways, and has so many more uses. So there. :)

    Peace
    Dan

    and Kefir is pretty nice as well. it's like high protein yogert you can drink.
    My Girlfriend said to me..."How many guitars do you need?" and I replied...."How many pairs of shoes do you need?" She got really quiet.
  • farfromglorified
    farfromglorified Posts: 5,700
    OutOfBreath wrote:
    While anarchists are just crazy... ;)

    Touche ;)
  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    I say use one cow for milk, eat the other one. Who the hell needs two cow's worth of milk, anyway?
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


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  • gue_barium
    gue_barium Posts: 5,515
    Collin wrote:
    I say use one cow for milk, eat the other one. Who the hell needs two cow's worth of milk, anyway?

    How are you going to impregnate the cow for it to give milk?

    And, I'd still like to know how those cows fell into the hands of all those people in the first place.:)
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.

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