Ave. parent spends 12 1/2 min. of face time w/ kids each day

THC

A guy who was doing great work in the Clevland schools said this stat on Oprah the other day (I was only flipping through...you HAVE to believe me!).

If this stat is true, which it very well could be...I think it says a lot. This culture we have of always being on the go....never stopping to think, chill out, spend time w/ family and friends w/o starring at a box, or video game, is what is really hurting the family structure in our country and the world.

12 1/2 min of face time a day w/ your kids...that is pathetic.

Uncle Leo

Well, we are taught the following our culture:

-Not having kids makes you part of the "sex in the city" crowd, which is frowned upon
-You must spend a lot of time with your kids
-Working 40 hours a week ain't working

These things tend to clash.

redrock

Eating meals together at the table would be a start!

I can't believe it's only 12 minutes. OK.. maybe 12 minutes of actually sitting and talking but wouldn't interacting while doing other things (not involving TV, computer, etc) count?

It is pathetic though....

chopitdown

and we wonder why kids go crazy...why they seem disinterested in school. The most important (or what should be most important) people in their lives spend an average of 12.5 minutes with them. And then those people get upset when their children fail in school, "fail" in life.

_Crazy_Mary_

That is a very sad statistic and I find it hard to believe. It's right on with how much time my parents spent with me, but to hear that's the average is frightening!
I try to have a family dinner at least 4 nights a week, where we all sit together at the table. The other nights we end up eating at different times because of my work schedule. The TV is never on at meal time. I can't understand how people eat dinner in front of the TV.

hippiemom

redrock wrote:

Eating meals together at the table would be a start!

I can't believe it's only 12 minutes. OK.. maybe 12 minutes of actually sitting and talking but wouldn't interacting while doing other things (not involving TV, computer, etc) count?

It is pathetic though....

When my daughter was in the 8th grade, her teacher asked the class how many of them sat around the table and ate dinner as a family most nights. She was one of two that raised their hands.

I know plenty of parents that vastly exceed that amount of time every single day, but I've seen plenty of others who never even look at their kids except to give them some sort of command or tell them to stop doing something. They never follow through by making the kid stop doing it though, because that would require time and effort, so the kids are awful to be around.

jeffbr

It is a sad statistic, and one I believe. At our house we're pretty active, running from school activities to sports to friends. Even with a busy schedule there is time to talk. We make it a point to have dinner together at the table every night. Very few of my kids' friends experience that, and we'll often have an extra kid at the table and hear comments about how cool it is to sit at a table and talk. After dinner we talk about homework, help where we can. Before they go to bed they like to chat. I have no idea how parents can go through life not talking to their kids. Sometimes it is hard to make the time, but the point is, you have to make the time. It should be a priority.

redrock

hippiemom wrote:

When my daughter was in the 8th grade, her teacher asked the class how many of them sat around the table and ate dinner as a family most nights. She was one of two that raised their hands.
.

That's a bit of a cultural thing as well.. being French, that's what we do. That's what my mother always did with us (even if she was married to an american!). I live in the UK and my daughter was born here. I have many friends with children of her age, good and responsible parents, but most will have their children eat on their own. I notice that these children, though very well brought up, do not have the same social/conversational skills that my daughter may have (though she is still shy!). In latin countries, children are part of your life, you take them everywhere with you and they learn to behave and interact properly. In countries like the UK, it is still very much Kids and parents with different lives it seems.

Even if parents are trying to juggle too many things at a time (and we are..), children should come first... no second chance if you mess up with a kid.... I know it may feel like a burden after a tough day at work, but it's not that hard to take interest in your kid.

blackredyellow

hippiemom wrote:

When my daughter was in the 8th grade, her teacher asked the class how many of them sat around the table and ate dinner as a family most nights. She was one of two that raised their hands.

That bothers me a lot... unless there was something going on after school (sports, work, etc) we always ate dinner together at the table. My wife's family never does or did. My wife and I eat now in the living room with the TV on, but when we have children (one on the way), the TV is off and we will actually use our kitchen table. I am adamant about that.

my2hands

i work with at-risk youth, and this does not surprise me one bit.

even flow?

Same parents who blame the school, the friends, the police, etc., for the problems that their children have.

surferdude

It's a sad stat and probably very true. There's not much I can do about it other than make sure I'm not that type of parent and that I try to be someone my son's friends can go to.

We have a proper sit down dinner every night regardless of schedules. The dinner may take place late at night but it happens. Even though he's nearly 14, I still read to him every night unless it's real late. I lose a half hour or so of relax time but I enjoy my kid. I like just chatting up fluff because that's when he opens up and tells you stuff, the important stuff.

It's bullshit for parents or people to blame anything other than the parents themselves.

redrock

surferdude wrote:

Even though he's nearly 14, I still read to him every night unless it's real late. .

So I'm not the only one! My daughter is 12 and still loves being read to! I also 'tuck her in' every night... those are the best chatty moments!

my2hands

surferdude wrote:

It's a sad stat and probably very true. There's not much I can do about it other than make sure I'm not that type of parent and that I try to be someone my son's friends can go to.

We have a proper sit down dinner every night regardless of schedules. The dinner may take place late at night but it happens. Even though he's nearly 14, I still read to him every night unless it's real late. I lose a half hour or so of relax time but I enjoy my kid. I like just chatting up fluff because that's when he opens up and tells you stuff, the important stuff.

It's bullshit for parents or people to blame anything other than the parents themselves.

i would suggest "A Peoples History"

my2hands

even flow? wrote:

Same parents who blame the school, the friends, the police, etc., for the problems that their children have.

i deal with them every day. it would amaze some people the pathetic parents that are out there. and i am not talking about drug addicts. i am talking about suburbia parents that are fucking worthless.

surferdude

my2hands wrote:

i would suggest "A Peoples History"

Actually, I'm currently reading him a book about Canada's role in WWI and the taking of Vimy Ridge. The taking of Vimy Ridge was to WWI as D-Day was to WWII. It does a good job of capturing the horrors of war. Imagine living for 4-1/2 years outside in mud up to your ankles, using corpses as couches so you're not stuck sitting in the mud.

As far as "A Peoples History" goes when he gets a fiction book read to him you tends to go for fantasy. Well wait, maybe "A Peoples History" would interest him after all.

THC

surferdude wrote:

It's a sad stat and probably very true. There's not much I can do about it other than make sure I'm not that type of parent and that I try to be someone my son's friends can go to.

We have a proper sit down dinner every night regardless of schedules. The dinner may take place late at night but it happens. Even though he's nearly 14, I still read to him every night unless it's real late. I lose a half hour or so of relax time but I enjoy my kid. I like just chatting up fluff because that's when he opens up and tells you stuff, the important stuff.

It's bullshit for parents or people to blame anything other than the parents themselves.

Damn it Surferdude!!!! I wanted to paint you as this bad guy due to our mainly contrasting political views...and now i can't...after this "I read to my son at night" liberal...huggy wuggy shit!

TrixieCat

There is really know judging unless you have walked in that person's shoes.
That being said, it really saddens me to hear that and like many others here, does not surprise me.

Jeanwah

I'm not surprised by this either, but saddened nonetheless. I work for a company that wants its workers to be overachievers and workaholics. I think it's becoming a standard to work more than be at home w/ family; it seems to increasingly be the American Way. I refuse to miss dinner with my family though, and am looking for another job that includes a work/life balance value in it's culture. I refuse to let a stupid job be more important. Family comes first.

surferdude

Jeanwah wrote:

I refuse to miss dinner with my family though, and am looking for another job that includes a work/life balance value in it's culture. I refuse to let a stupid job be more important. Family comes first.

Bang on. It's a choice people make. I make less money in order to be able to make my family my priority. I have no problem passing judgement on people who make their job and earning money a higher priority than their family.