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Atheist Dilemma

harrymanbackharrymanback Posts: 435
edited June 2007 in A Moving Train
Believing when we die, we just die, I have always been a fan of cremation - I would have eventually picked a spot for my ashes to be spread and it would be over. My wife (Catholic) was never a fan of this idea and i recently decided that I would let her bury me instead so, when she goes, she can "sleep next to me'. I thought it was nice, and she appreciated the gesture (in my mind burials are more for the family than for the deceased).
My next step in this is just making sure there is no service ... wouldn;t want the church to go up in flames. She can do what she wants, just no church or priests.
I don't want to be hostile. I don't want to be dismal. But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existance either.
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  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    morbid monday


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  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    You can still be cremated and part of your ashes buried 'next to her' and part dispersed where you want..... best of both worlds. As long as you have a plot at the cemetary it's not a problem. No religious ceremony is required to bury.. you don't have one, your wife does.
  • hippiemomhippiemom Posts: 3,326
    harrymanback wrote:
    Believing when we die, we just die, I have always been a fan of cremation - I would have eventually picked a spot for my ashes to be spread and it would be over. My wife (Catholic) was never a fan of this idea and i recently decided that I would let her bury me instead so, when she goes, she can "sleep next to me'. I thought it was nice, and she appreciated the gesture (in my mind burials are more for the family than for the deceased).
    My next step in this is just making sure there is no service ... wouldn;t want the church to go up in flames. She can do what she wants, just no church or priests.
    If you want to be sure your wishes are carried out, you should go to a funeral director and purchase a prepaid burial. You can specify anything you want, from your choice of casket to what sort of service (religious, secular, or none at all) there will be. This also takes a huge burden off of your wife. She won't have to make all these decisions while she's grieving, she just calls the funeral director and he/she takes care of everything. It also protects her from meddling family members, if you have any of those (you'd be surprised how often families feud over funerals). If someone comes along telling her she "should" be doing things this way or that, she can just say "sorry, harry decided all this years ago, it's out of my hands."
    "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    I want to be cremated, too. They can salvage me for parts... if any of them can be salvaged... and Post Toastie the rest. And I really don't care if they scatter my ashes in a cat box... I will have no use for ashes.
    ...
    But, if I could have it my way... strap me to my surfboard, set it ablaze and cast it off towards the horizon... like a surfer Viking funeral or something.
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    this is how i wanna go....:p:D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvCorHJbT_E
  • blackredyellowblackredyellow Posts: 5,889
    I would like to be cremated as well and my wife doesn't like that idea... Personally, I don't really care. If I really wanted to plan it myself, I would have a quiet ceremony with close friends and family and then be cremated, but really I could care less what they do with me lol. If my wife or family wants to bury me and have a traditional funeral than so be it, they are the ones who will be grieving, it's up to them as to what helps them get through it the best.
    My whole life
    was like a picture
    of a sunny day
    “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    http://www.lifegem.com/
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • PJ_SalukiPJ_Saluki Posts: 1,006
    Go Steelers!

    http://www.estatevaults.com/lm/%20%20%20Pittsburgh%20Steeler%20fan%20recliner.jpg
    "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool." -- Charles Barkley
  • catefrancescatefrances Posts: 29,003
    when i go i want half my ashes spread in johnstone strait with the orcas and the other half thrown into the ocean from the rocks at my fave beach.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • lucylespianlucylespian Posts: 2,403
    Just as civil marriages have been around for a while, civil funerals are more availabel theese days, "funeral celebrants" if you like !! LOL !!
    I don't mind peeps celebrating that I lived a full life when I cark it, sure don't want glum faces !!

    I sure don't want a bloke in a dress using my death as a chance to nab a few converts.

    Give me a good burning, and chuck the ashes off Wategoes beach to feed the little fishies, and let anyone who cares lift a glass and tell a story.
    Music is not a competetion.
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    cutback wrote:
    this is how i wanna go....:p:D

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvCorHJbT_E

    rofl... :D

    I fucking love that movie... too bad they cut off the hug at the end...

    timeless cult classic...

    Don't fuck wit da Jesus main... I put a gun up your ass and pull the trigger till it goes 'click'...

    Da Jesus...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StJx7wI8Q-I

    I want to bet set out like in the movie "The Fountain" when I die...Mayan style...plant a tree over me
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • korbykorby Posts: 298
    i believe. because the voices told me so
    its ok
  • korbykorby Posts: 298
    if nothing is everything then I will have it all , when im gone
    its ok
  • JeanieJeanie Posts: 9,446
    harrymanback wrote:
    Believing when we die, we just die, I have always been a fan of cremation - I would have eventually picked a spot for my ashes to be spread and it would be over. My wife (Catholic) was never a fan of this idea and i recently decided that I would let her bury me instead so, when she goes, she can "sleep next to me'. I thought it was nice, and she appreciated the gesture (in my mind burials are more for the family than for the deceased).
    My next step in this is just making sure there is no service ... wouldn;t want the church to go up in flames. She can do what she wants, just no church or priests.

    Not coming from a religious family, it had always been my intention to be cremated and have my ashes scattered. I did have a similiar discussion to yours with my fiance many years ago when he decided that as a Catholic he had to be buried and that as his wife I too would also have to be buried. He's not my fiance anymore, for a myriad of reasons, but I have to say the thought that someone else could dictate to me my final resting place, was a contributing factor in the demise of the relationship. I have since been reading up on the environmental impact of cremation and I'm wondering if I can stomach the idea of being buried as seemingly that is more environmentally friendly. Anyway, I'll keep working on the idea.
    You and your wife seem to have agreed on the burial part. So that's great.

    With regards to the service, recently I have participated in the arrangement of funerals for two family members, both of whom did not want a priest, a church or any praying. For both we included songs that they liked, poetry, a eulogy, and people spoke of their lives and the times they had shared. Both were conducted by a celebrant and songs and poems and readings where done by family members and friends. Both were conducted at the "chapel" of the funeral home.
    When I die I'm planning something very similar to that with the only proviso being that there needs to be a lot of my favorite music and I'd prefer that people attempt to "party" after the service by having one or several drinks.
    I'd like that it be a celebration of my life and the times I've shared with my friends and loved ones. Hope this helps harry. It's an interesting thing to contemplate and worth putting in the time and effort now to get your wishes known, understood and carried out. :)
    NOPE!!!

    *~You're IT Bert!~*

    Hold on to the thread
    The currents will shift
  • Gary CarterGary Carter Posts: 14,067
    when i die i want my ashes spread over citi field and the islanders ice.maybe i could have my wife or kids take a tour of citi field and spread my ashes on the field. im a crazy fuck. i say do u want u want, and have it in your will what u want done to your body.
    Ron: I just don't feel like going out tonight
    Sammi: Wanna just break up?

  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    Ahnimus wrote:
    http://www.lifegem.com/
    That's what my daughter wants to do with me and my husband when we die!
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    redrock wrote:
    That's what my daughter wants to do with me and my husband when we die!

    lookie...I've wearing Daddy around my little finger and I'm wearing Mommy around my neck!

    ha...if my kids made one of those outta me it'd come out looking like a lump of coal
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    As long as there's nothing religious about my funeral, I'm cool with it.

    But this seems like an awesome funeral:

    http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200508/r56009_152737.jpg
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • cornnifercornnifer Posts: 2,130
    harrymanback wrote:
    Believing when we die, we just die, I have always been a fan of cremation - I would have eventually picked a spot for my ashes to be spread and it would be over. My wife (Catholic) was never a fan of this idea and i recently decided that I would let her bury me instead so, when she goes, she can "sleep next to me'. I thought it was nice, and she appreciated the gesture (in my mind burials are more for the family than for the deceased).
    My next step in this is just making sure there is no service ... wouldn;t want the church to go up in flames. She can do what she wants, just no church or priests.

    What difference does it make to you. You're dead.

    Seriously, i don't know what cremation has to do with Atheism.
    "When all your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse... better find yourself a place to level out."
  • redrockredrock Posts: 18,341
    prism wrote:
    lookie...I've wearing Daddy around my little finger
    She already has Daddy wrapped around her little finger... this would just be a natural progression! :D
  • harrymanbackharrymanback Posts: 435
    cornnifer wrote:
    What difference does it make to you. You're dead.

    Seriously, i don't know what cremation has to do with Atheism.

    As far as being dead, you are right, but would a jew want a christian service or vice versa? of course not ... so why would i want religion discussed at mine?
    I don't want to be hostile. I don't want to be dismal. But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existance either.
  • KannKann Posts: 1,146
    harrymanback wrote:
    As far as being dead, you are right, but would a jew want a christian service or vice versa? of course not ... so why would i want religion discussed at mine?

    Well it really isn't the same, if you're a christian you would believe that having a jewish funeral might not help the whole "get me to heaven!" part (and vice versa). When you're an atheist you basically don't care since you don't believe in heaven.
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    I want to go to the farm.
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • angelicaangelica Posts: 6,038
    Ahnimus wrote:
    I want to go to the farm.
    Is that like when your parents explain the lacking presence of the family pet, saying it went to "the farm"?? :D
    "The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr

    http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta

    Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    angelica wrote:
    Is that like when your parents explain the lacking presence of the family pet, saying it went to "the farm"?? :D

    Nope, it's the study of human decomposition

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Farm
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • normnorm Posts: 31,146
    Ahnimus wrote:
    Nope, it's the study of human decomposition

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Farm


    you walked into that one, angelica....:D:D
  • angelicaangelica Posts: 6,038
    Ahnimus wrote:
    Nope, it's the study of human decomposition

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Farm
    That's almost funnier than my version of the farm! :D That or it's a lot creepy and morbid.
    cutback wrote:
    you walked into that one, angelica....:D:D
    I so took the bait! :D
    "The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr

    http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta

    Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
  • AhnimusAhnimus Posts: 10,560
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy5Rpb_55Vw
    I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
  • angelicaangelica Posts: 6,038
    Ahnimus wrote:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy5Rpb_55Vw
    That was a funny clip. I particularly like the Duran Duran song playing in the background toward the start.

    And this choice of wording: "it's only a femur bone's length away from the Cullawhee volunteer fire department." Not to mention the cheesy and opportune placement and use of skulls and bones, throughout.
    "The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth." ~ Niels Bohr

    http://www.myspace.com/illuminatta

    Rhinocerous Surprise '08!!!
  • CollinCollin Posts: 4,931
    Seriously, i don't know what cremation has to do with Atheism.

    Not sure either.
    Kann wrote:
    Well it really isn't the same, if you're a christian you would believe that having a jewish funeral might not help the whole "get me to heaven!" part (and vice versa). When you're an atheist you basically don't care since you don't believe in heaven.
    cornnifer wrote:
    What difference does it make to you. You're dead.

    Well, I am an atheist, I don't believe in a god, I don't pray... Why would I want a service in church? But you're right ultimately it doesn't matter because I'll be dead. But I hope my family or the friends I leave behind would see that giving me a service in church is rather silly and that it would be against not only my wishes but also against the life I led.
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
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