New political song I wrote

kenny olav

Consider this a political rant set to music. So naturally it's appropriate for the political board of a band's website. I wrote a song called American Town five years ago and was never satisfied with the lyrics. The music, while only employing three chords, was pretty good, so finally I wrote some new lyrics and recorded them yesterday. I also remixed the whole thing, giving the acoustic guitar more treble and toning down some of the high-end from the lead electric guitar. It took me a good five hours to do everything, so I hope you all enjoy it. But really what I am looking for is crticism, mainly on the merits of the lyrics and of the politics (I'm an anarchist whom for practical purposes votes Dem, maybe Green). And as for the vocals, I realize I wasn't born to sing.

So its the first song here:

http://www.myspace.com/kennyolavmusic

The other songs are crap. Don't listen to them.


Lyrics:

Build us a new shopping mall
And wave your flags all around
But don't bother to fix the dam
If your home is safe and sound
Life in an old American town
We keep you afloat
But you just watch us down

You say

I'm rich because you work hard for me
You can take the bus, I'll take my humvee
I pollute the air that your kids have to breathe
I will never be you, and you will never be me
Home of the brave, land of the free
Free to take advantage of the brave and the weak
They still believe they have democracy
But a slave to money can never be free

Why won't you spare us the misery?
Is our humanity in doubt?
And please exuse if we resort to violence
But fighting your war is the safest way out
Life in a new American town
For every soul that's abused
We'll pay for it somehow

You say

We don't work for you, get the hell off our streets
Go find a job or faith-based charity
Or go ahead and take strike three
That'll give you maximum security
You'll never find the change you need
We got other Projects for this (New American) Century
We pull the strings of 'democracy'
And you're a slave to the money that has set us free










Really, I just think its a pretty good song and I want to show off.

Although, I probably can make it better.

mwachsman

Not going to lie, I thought it was terrible. Sorry.

kenny olav

mwachsman wrote:

Not going to lie, I thought it was terrible. Sorry.

Nice. Honesty. That's what I'm looking for.




But I am also looking for reasons why you don't like it.

jlew24asu

worst song I ever heard.

Abookamongstthemany

There's constructive criticism and then there's just being an asshole. Thank you for sharing, Kenny. That really took a lot of balls to put your stuff up here of all places. I'll give it a listen when I get back home later, I'm on my way out the door.

Skitch Patterson

Did anyone watch Saturday Night Live last night?

They did a moderately funny, but very true, send up of protest songs...

It was Hugh Laurie (House) with a guitar and harmonica... he started off with "This is a protest song" and would sing a list about all that was wrong with the world... and just as the chorus would come up, it would be somehing like "And all we need to do, is....." and trail off into an unintelliable mumble.

This repeated 3 or 4 times throughout the course of the song.

PaperPlates

Skitch Patterson wrote:

Did anyone watch Saturday Night Live last night?

They did a moderately funny, but very true, send up of protest songs...

It was Hugh Laurie (House) with a guitar and harmonica... he started off with "This is a protest song" and would sing a list about all that was wrong with the world... and just as the chorus would come up, it would be somehing like "And all we need to do, is....." and trail off into an unintelliable mumble.

This repeated 3 or 4 times throughout the course of the song.

He must be a liberal artist. Long lists of whats wrong, uber short list of solutions. Did Hugh actually play?

Sonja_S

Skitch Patterson wrote:

Did anyone watch Saturday Night Live last night?

They did a moderately funny, but very true, send up of protest songs...

It was Hugh Laurie (House) with a guitar and harmonica... he started off with "This is a protest song" and would sing a list about all that was wrong with the world... and just as the chorus would come up, it would be somehing like "And all we need to do, is....." and trail off into an unintelliable mumble.

This repeated 3 or 4 times throughout the course of the song.

Was it by any chance this song? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj4jDQrjBco It's from an old episode of A Bit of Fry and Laurie. When I saw it back then, I almost needed diapers

parel jam

Well, I think it's not too bad, but it's neither really good...just focus more on the good singing part...

Sonja_S

I agree that you really have to work on your singing. You're flat for most of the song and also, since you wrote the song, you could change the notes that are too high for you to reach (I'm talking about the 'fighting your war' part). I think that could also be fixed by changing your breathing there, the way it sounded, it could be because you were running out of air.

I'm a bit confused about the lyrics. Are they supposed to be from one guy's (or group's) perspective or different ones? I'm not a native speaker, so that's not critizism, just a question.

I hope I was not too harsh on your singing, I guess I worked for a record company for too long

kenny olav

Sonja_S wrote:

I agree that you really have to work on your singing. You're flat for most of the song and also, since you wrote the song, you could change the notes that are too high for you to reach (I'm talking about the 'fighting your war' part). I think that could also be fixed by changing your breathing there, the way it sounded, it could be because you were running out of air.

I'm a bit confused about the lyrics. Are they supposed to be from one guy's (or group's) perspective or different ones? I'm not a native speaker, so that's not critizism, just a question.

I hope I was not too harsh on your singing, I guess I worked for a record company for too long

No, I agree with you on the singing. I try my best. I would rather be the guitar player in a band and have a real singer sing my lyrics (and/or his/hers).

It's from two perspectives. Basically a poor person's plea, and then a response by the wealthy elite.

Hoon

Kenny Olav wrote:

Consider this a political rant set to music. So naturally it's appropriate for the political board of a band's website. I wrote a song called American Town five years ago and was never satisfied with the lyrics. The music, while only employing three chords, was pretty good, so finally I wrote some new lyrics and recorded them yesterday. I also remixed the whole thing, giving the acoustic guitar more treble and toning down some of the high-end from the lead electric guitar. It took me a good five hours to do everything, so I hope you all enjoy it. But really what I am looking for is crticism, mainly on the merits of the lyrics and of the politics (I'm an anarchist whom for practical purposes votes Dem, maybe Green). And as for the vocals, I realize I wasn't born to sing.

So its the first song here:

http://www.myspace.com/kennyolavmusic

The other songs are crap. Don't listen to them.


Lyrics:

Build us a new shopping mall
And wave your flags all around
But don't bother to fix the dam
If your home is safe and sound
Life in an old American town
We keep you afloat
But you just watch us down

You say

I'm rich because you work hard for me
You can take the bus, I'll take my humvee
I pollute the air that your kids have to breathe
I will never be you, and you will never be me
Home of the brave, land of the free
Free to take advantage of the brave and the weak
They still believe they have democracy
But a slave to money can never be free

Why won't you spare us the misery?
Is our humanity in doubt?
And please exuse if we resort to violence
But fighting your war is the safest way out
Life in a new American town
For every soul that's abused
We'll pay for it somehow

You say

We don't work for you, get the hell off our streets
Go find a job or faith-based charity
Or go ahead and take strike three
That'll give you maximum security
You'll never find the change you need
We got other Projects for this (New American) Century
We pull the strings of 'democracy'
And you're a slave to the money that has set us free

Really, I just think its a pretty good song and I want to show off.

Although, I probably can make it better.

Thanx Kenny, I thought it was great. Your getting yourself quite a library of songs!

The first step in becoming a "good" singer is realizing that you can sing. That goes for anyone. Just add a dash of soul, and let the melody and rhythm of the lyrics bake for a while and it will settle in a groove.



Take "the" out of this lyric:

I will never be you, and you will never be me
Home of the brave, land of the free
Free to take advantage of the brave and "the" weak

Then things like that will come out sharp and cool!

I'd like to see just the whole name in this lyric:

We got other Projects for this (New American) Century

Like this?:

Project for Nu Mer Can Cen tur-eee

You should polish up everything you have and put it on an album soon. I use N-TRACK.


Since the crew of Saturday Night Live lacks the time to write good skits and take ten minutes to read up on our solutions to the worlds problems I should start working them into my songs. Just have to find things that rhyme with:

1. Sustainable farmin' / community supported agriculture (CSA"s) http://www.localharvest.org/csa/
2. Diplomacy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi
3. Peace http://www.jesusdressup.com/
4. Changing your Diet http://vegweb.com/
5. Voting with your dollar by making informed purchases
6. Instant Runoff Voting / Ranked Choice Voting http://www.fairvote.org/
7. Open Debates http://www.dixon4senate.com/pressroom/debate_exclusion_statement.shtml
8. Political adds off TV
9. Eliminate private campaign contributions
10. Publicly Funded campaigns http://www.washclean.org/
11. Working together to agree on solutions to solve the worlds problems by no longer tolerating consciously deceptive and immoral conversation strategies in public and private dialogue ( politics )
12. Investment in alternative energy technologies http://www.noaanews.noaa.gov/stories2005/s2372.htm (the sun)
13. Or just see: http://www.greenparty.org/values.php

Abuskedti

I thought it was cool... I wish I could do that.

denverfan

Kenny you would be huge in North Korea...you would be Jongie boys bitch with stuf this great! Your well on your way!

denverfan

Abookamongstthemany wrote:

There's constructive criticism and then there's just being an asshole. Thank you for sharing, Kenny. That really took a lot of balls to put your stuff up here of all places. I'll give it a listen when I get back home later, I'm on my way out the door.

yeah big balls...but it still sucked ass! Leave the rhetorical politcal rant to the pros...hmm PJ is this their forum

MrBrian

The tempo or should I say tempi? needs work, lyrics a pretty solid, maybe a few lines should be changed.

But I think you do have something good, keep at it.

Purple Hawk

Kenny Olav wrote:

Consider this a political rant set to music. So naturally it's appropriate for the political board of a band's website. I wrote a song called American Town five years ago and was never satisfied with the lyrics. The music, while only employing three chords, was pretty good, so finally I wrote some new lyrics and recorded them yesterday. I also remixed the whole thing, giving the acoustic guitar more treble and toning down some of the high-end from the lead electric guitar. It took me a good five hours to do everything, so I hope you all enjoy it. But really what I am looking for is crticism, mainly on the merits of the lyrics and of the politics (I'm an anarchist whom for practical purposes votes Dem, maybe Green). And as for the vocals, I realize I wasn't born to sing.

So its the first song here:

http://www.myspace.com/kennyolavmusic

The other songs are crap. Don't listen to them.


Lyrics:

Build us a new shopping mall
And wave your flags all around
But don't bother to fix the dam
If your home is safe and sound
Life in an old American town
We keep you afloat
But you just watch us down

You say

I'm rich because you work hard for me
You can take the bus, I'll take my humvee
I pollute the air that your kids have to breathe
I will never be you, and you will never be me
Home of the brave, land of the free
Free to take advantage of the brave and the weak
They still believe they have democracy
But a slave to money can never be free

Why won't you spare us the misery?
Is our humanity in doubt?
And please exuse if we resort to violence
But fighting your war is the safest way out
Life in a new American town
For every soul that's abused
We'll pay for it somehow

You say

We don't work for you, get the hell off our streets
Go find a job or faith-based charity
Or go ahead and take strike three
That'll give you maximum security
You'll never find the change you need
We got other Projects for this (New American) Century
We pull the strings of 'democracy'
And you're a slave to the money that has set us free










Really, I just think its a pretty good song and I want to show off.

Although, I probably can make it better.

surprise! I disagree with all of it!!! but i think it's cool to not only use your talent to transform your opinions into something you feel good about, but that you share them...i'd rather hear about it, than not hear about it...so thanks for sharing.

bharQ

Sounds very generic.

Try heroin out..

DOSW

It's alright. Could be better, but it could be a lot worse.

It just sounds unpolished. Try tightening it up a little bit and keep working on it. It's a pretty solid foundation, if you ask me.

denverfan

thought about it for a while..your much better at posting links to articles about how bush planned 9-11...I would stick with that

MrBrian

denverfan wrote:

thought about it for a while..your much better at posting links to articles about how bush planned 9-11...I would stick with that

Find one article that he's posted about bush planning 9/11.