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So This Is (a Conservative) Christmas

Purple HawkPurple Hawk Posts: 1,300
edited December 2006 in A Moving Train
*too the tune of Lenin's "This Is Christmas"

Hopefully the moderates here will find this funny...I know the song will get a "YEAHH!!!! TOTALLY" from one constituency here...but man, this had me ROLLING today. And people ask why I like Glenn Beck?

http://www.glennbeck.com/news/12112003-1.shtml

So this is Christmas
Conservatives cry
Cause children are happy
And we want them to die

War mongering Christmas
We all had some fun
Bombing all the A-rabs
And starving their young

Conservative Christmas
Drive my SUV
Right over the homeless
Speed bump them with glee

Conservative Christmas
What a happy day
‘Cause we just stole 4 million
From your 401k’s

An intolerant Christmas
On the colored we spit
And beat them for crimes that
They did not commit

Conservative Christmas
Have a happy new year
Unless you’re a red man
Black, yellow or queer

There’s a new Christmas anthem
On this holiday
For all those who hate us
No matter what we say

A Conservative Christmas
Have a great holiday
Unless of course you’re a liberal
Or a conservative gay

A Conservative Christmas
And a write off next year
Pray for a bull market
And go kill a deer

We’re war mongers
Love no longer
White race stronger
Blah Blah Blah Blahhhhh
And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FoxwellFoxwell Posts: 142
    ..."too (sic) the tune of LENIN'S 'This Is Christmas'"

    Now...I know Vladimir Lenin was an accomplished man with many unknown talents, but when did he have time to write a Christmas song?

    I suppose after the October Revolution he had some free time.
    "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -- Albert Camus

    "He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that." -- John Stuart Mill

    "Mongo just a pawn in game of life." -- Mongo
  • Bu2Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    between October and December to write a Christmas song. How nice.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • Purple HawkPurple Hawk Posts: 1,300
    I'm guessing that people flock around you two at cocktail parties.
    And you ask me what I want this year
    And I try to make this kind and clear
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
    Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
    And desire and love and empty things
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    ahem.

    L-e-n-n-o-n
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • Purple HawkPurple Hawk Posts: 1,300
    gue_barium wrote:
    ahem.

    L-e-n-n-o-n

    YES

    I KNOW

    IT WAS A FREAKIN JOKE

    GOD... ughhhhhhhhh

    I hate you all.
    And you ask me what I want this year
    And I try to make this kind and clear
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
    Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
    And desire and love and empty things
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
  • miller8966miller8966 Posts: 1,450
    i almost pissed myself reading that
    America...the greatest Country in the world.
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Purple Hawk wrote:
    YES

    I KNOW

    IT WAS A FREAKIN JOKE

    GOD... ughhhhhhhhh

    I hate you all.

    You know, you can edit your post if you want. Rather than arguing it was a 'joke'. Oh well, too late. :D
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Uncle LeoUncle Leo Posts: 1,059
    Just because it's satire, does not mean it is not true. ;)

    But that was pretty funny.
    I cannot come up with a new sig till I get this egg off my face.
  • FoxwellFoxwell Posts: 142
    Purple Hawk wrote:
    YES

    I KNOW

    IT WAS A FREAKIN JOKE

    GOD... ughhhhhhhhh

    I hate you all.

    Yes, a friend of mine pointed out that it was possible that you were playing a joke based on the homophonic nature of the two men's names, similar to the way folks have bastardized Martin Luther King's and Ellen Degeneres' names. "But," I argued, "if he's going to make that comedic 'mistake', don't you think he would go out of his way to make sure he got the name of the song correct and to spell 'to' correctly?"

    Regarding your "cocktail party" retort...at first, I wasn't going to respond. It was mildly amusing and a seemingly harmless way to end the thread.

    But, then it struck me...it wasn't a benign comment at all. In fact it smacked of an anti-intellectualism that used to reside solely on the playground but has now worked its way into the mainstream, the workplace, and even the White House. Why should anyone be chided for making a superficial reference to a major event in twentieth century history?

    You know, the saddest aspect of my pathetic defense is that I'm not an intellectual in the classic sense. Yes, I prefer Walt Whitman to Slim Whitman, and I would watch Hamlet (the Dane) ten times before sitting through ten minutes of Dane Cook; yet, I've also seen every episode of Breaking Bonaduce. I'm no Thoreau, and yet I find myself defending my historical references and semi-intellectual thoughts far more than I should.

    The internet, in general, and the Message Pit, in particular, should be a place where we raise our collective consciousness, spirit, and intellect in the same way Pearl Jam's music has. I would hate to see this opportunity de-volve into a 21st century Menshevik/Bolshevik clash or Hatfield/McCoy tussle or Tupac/Biggie Smalls brawl (pick your preferred cultural reference). We all know how those ended, and none of it was pretty.

    So, I apologize for not getting your Lennon joke and solemnly request that we give peace a chance.

    Until we meet again...cheers!
    "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -- Albert Camus

    "He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that." -- John Stuart Mill

    "Mongo just a pawn in game of life." -- Mongo
  • keeponrockinkeeponrockin Posts: 7,446
    Hahahahaha, hilarious!
    Believe me, when I was growin up, I thought the worst thing you could turn out to be was normal, So I say freaks in the most complementary way. Here's a song by a fellow freak - E.V
  • Purple HawkPurple Hawk Posts: 1,300
    Shameless bump...have the song stuck in my head.
    And you ask me what I want this year
    And I try to make this kind and clear
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
    Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
    And desire and love and empty things
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
  • mammasanmammasan Posts: 5,656
    That was pretty freakin funny.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • Purple HawkPurple Hawk Posts: 1,300
    Merry Christmas all!
    And you ask me what I want this year
    And I try to make this kind and clear
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
    Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
    And desire and love and empty things
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
  • Purple HawkPurple Hawk Posts: 1,300
    Foxwell wrote:
    Yes, a friend of mine pointed out that it was possible that you were playing a joke based on the homophonic nature of the two men's names, similar to the way folks have bastardized Martin Luther King's and Ellen Degeneres' names. "But," I argued, "if he's going to make that comedic 'mistake', don't you think he would go out of his way to make sure he got the name of the song correct and to spell 'to' correctly?"

    Regarding your "cocktail party" retort...at first, I wasn't going to respond. It was mildly amusing and a seemingly harmless way to end the thread.

    But, then it struck me...it wasn't a benign comment at all. In fact it smacked of an anti-intellectualism that used to reside solely on the playground but has now worked its way into the mainstream, the workplace, and even the White House. Why should anyone be chided for making a superficial reference to a major event in twentieth century history?

    You know, the saddest aspect of my pathetic defense is that I'm not an intellectual in the classic sense. Yes, I prefer Walt Whitman to Slim Whitman, and I would watch Hamlet (the Dane) ten times before sitting through ten minutes of Dane Cook; yet, I've also seen every episode of Breaking Bonaduce. I'm no Thoreau, and yet I find myself defending my historical references and semi-intellectual thoughts far more than I should.

    The internet, in general, and the Message Pit, in particular, should be a place where we raise our collective consciousness, spirit, and intellect in the same way Pearl Jam's music has. I would hate to see this opportunity de-volve into a 21st century Menshevik/Bolshevik clash or Hatfield/McCoy tussle or Tupac/Biggie Smalls brawl (pick your preferred cultural reference). We all know how those ended, and none of it was pretty.

    So, I apologize for not getting your Lennon joke and solemnly request that we give peace a chance.

    Until we meet again...cheers!

    Since I'm here...i'm going to nominate this as the most significant internet post of 2006...really made me think.
    And you ask me what I want this year
    And I try to make this kind and clear
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
    Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
    And desire and love and empty things
    Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    Purple Hawk wrote:
    Since I'm here...i'm going to nominate this as the most significant internet post of 2006...really made me think.

    For an entire year?
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • FoxwellFoxwell Posts: 142
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    For an entire year?

    Well...it was a slow year. ;)
    "In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -- Albert Camus

    "He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that." -- John Stuart Mill

    "Mongo just a pawn in game of life." -- Mongo
  • RolandTD20KdrummerRolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    Foxwell wrote:
    Well...it was a slow year. ;)


    apparently so..hehe

    Merry Christmas!
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
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