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"King Of The Zionists"
NMyTree
Posts: 2,412
Hello fellow PJ fans.
Today is a great day. Today is a beautiful day.
Today, I have been knighted, annointed and elected (by Silverstain) as the KING OF THE ZIONISTS.
I am humbled and proud to be the King. As your King, I endeavor to do my best, and with all my energy and determination, in serving you (the people).
My reign as King will be slightly different than previous Kings. The true essence of " Zionism " may not be accurately reflected, during my reign.
There will be some new laws, procedures, and policies introduced by me, your King. As well, you the people will decide and vote on the remainder of all Laws, policies and procedures.
First and foremost, my commitment and loyalty is to you, the people.
Let me begin with some of the new things I have already begun to introduce and others to be shortly introduced.
Section A:
Laws:
1) All citizens (individuals) of this kingdom have complete, total and equal rights. Race, nationality, religious loyalty or gender are irrelevent. Everyone is equal.
2) All individuals are free to dress in any manner they choose, as long as the clothing/apparel is not capable of inflicting any kind of bodily injury or harm.
3) Women are free to go topless anywhere, at anytime, and any day; if they choose to do so. It's good to be the King
4) Due to sanitary reasons and personal hygiene, no one will go bottomless. But short and brief bottomless nudity is allowed as long as the participants do not sit down in any public place or business, or do it in a setting where there are individuals shorter in height, within 30 feet.
5) This Administration will not promote or encourage any religion, whatsoever. We seperate Religion from Government.
6) Each individual has the right to pray and worship which ever religion they choose. But no one is permitted to advertise, promote, sell, or encourage any religion in a public place or business. This law will be strictly enforced and the punishments are listed below. And yes, if you are a Star Wars fanatic, you are free to worship Darth Vadar, Yoda, Jabba The Hut or whomever you choose. But no lightsabres in public places, please.
7) Did I mention that women can go topless, if they want to?
8) Every individual citizen will have free health, medical, wellness and dental care from the moment of birth.
9) We will have a military. Much money will go into our military forces. The weapons of choice are as follows. Note these are only a few of our weapons in our arsenal.
9A) On the front lines our troops will carry large, high-resolution close-up photos of me (your King) and Joan Rivers. With most opponents the horrific sight of our collective photos is enough to scare them into retreat.
9B) With more determined opponents (with stronger and iron-clad stomachs) we have developed a thick and disabling chocolate pudding formula, which will be pumped and shot at the attackers in enormous volumes. Once being exposed to oxygen, the pudding becomes severely thicker and stops attackers in their tracks. While not killing them, it does trap them for an extreme, extended period of time. Giving our troops the time and opportunity to capture them peacefully and without bodily harm. The pudding also contains and defeats any explosive charges or bullets.
9C) Our Air Force will not deliver traditional, tactical bombs. Rather, they will deliver large water ballons which contain a hybrid Tequila formula and upon impact these ballons erupt and the formula converts into an intoxicating and disabling vapor. Opponents will be rendered drunk and incapable of physical violence. The formula also has a long term effect in which it converts violent people, into peace-loving, flower-picking, tree-hugging hippies. Grateful Dead and Phish albums will be provided to them, for their enjoyment.
10) All children are protected under law. It is every citizens duty to keep all children safe from physical, emotional and sexual harm.
11) Nipples are not evil, nor are breasts. All breasts and nipples are to be respected and cherished for their true beauty and their life-nurturing essence. All praise the Boobies!!
12) The environment and all of it's life-giving resources are to be respected!! Pollution will be reduced to a bare minimum.
13) Males can go topless too, if they choose to do so.
14) High Quality Education will be a primary priority. As well all of the arts.
15) The Teletubbies TV show, videos and merchandising is strictly prohibited! (I) The King finds it severly disturbing and void of any educational value, whatsoever. And it's not because of that stupid "gay" accusation of one of the charcters. They are simply creepy:D
Section B:
Punishments:
Level One: Individuals assigned this punishment will be subjected to 72 hours of continueous Jessica Simpson music, through large (6 foot) loudspeakers, their ears tickeled with a feather, every two hours; and subjected to continueous DVD episodes of the TV show Dharma & Greg- for another 72 hours.
Level Two: Individuals assigned this punishment will be subjected to 48 hours of Britney Spears music with Caly Aikens vocals over-dubbed to simulate a Britney/Clay Duet, through large (6 foot) loudspeakers. Then another 48 hours of eating nothing but White Castle cheesburgers.
Level Three: Individuals assigned this punishment will be subjected to watching the daytime, woman's talk show....The View; for two weeks straight.
As I (your King) stated earlier, the rest of the Laws are your choices. Please submit your requests for Laws, so they can be put to vote.
Meanwhile, the King will be down at the beach watching all the boobies...I mean.......surfers:D
Today is a great day. Today is a beautiful day.
Today, I have been knighted, annointed and elected (by Silverstain) as the KING OF THE ZIONISTS.
I am humbled and proud to be the King. As your King, I endeavor to do my best, and with all my energy and determination, in serving you (the people).
My reign as King will be slightly different than previous Kings. The true essence of " Zionism " may not be accurately reflected, during my reign.
There will be some new laws, procedures, and policies introduced by me, your King. As well, you the people will decide and vote on the remainder of all Laws, policies and procedures.
First and foremost, my commitment and loyalty is to you, the people.
Let me begin with some of the new things I have already begun to introduce and others to be shortly introduced.
Section A:
Laws:
1) All citizens (individuals) of this kingdom have complete, total and equal rights. Race, nationality, religious loyalty or gender are irrelevent. Everyone is equal.
2) All individuals are free to dress in any manner they choose, as long as the clothing/apparel is not capable of inflicting any kind of bodily injury or harm.
3) Women are free to go topless anywhere, at anytime, and any day; if they choose to do so. It's good to be the King
4) Due to sanitary reasons and personal hygiene, no one will go bottomless. But short and brief bottomless nudity is allowed as long as the participants do not sit down in any public place or business, or do it in a setting where there are individuals shorter in height, within 30 feet.
5) This Administration will not promote or encourage any religion, whatsoever. We seperate Religion from Government.
6) Each individual has the right to pray and worship which ever religion they choose. But no one is permitted to advertise, promote, sell, or encourage any religion in a public place or business. This law will be strictly enforced and the punishments are listed below. And yes, if you are a Star Wars fanatic, you are free to worship Darth Vadar, Yoda, Jabba The Hut or whomever you choose. But no lightsabres in public places, please.
7) Did I mention that women can go topless, if they want to?
8) Every individual citizen will have free health, medical, wellness and dental care from the moment of birth.
9) We will have a military. Much money will go into our military forces. The weapons of choice are as follows. Note these are only a few of our weapons in our arsenal.
9A) On the front lines our troops will carry large, high-resolution close-up photos of me (your King) and Joan Rivers. With most opponents the horrific sight of our collective photos is enough to scare them into retreat.
9B) With more determined opponents (with stronger and iron-clad stomachs) we have developed a thick and disabling chocolate pudding formula, which will be pumped and shot at the attackers in enormous volumes. Once being exposed to oxygen, the pudding becomes severely thicker and stops attackers in their tracks. While not killing them, it does trap them for an extreme, extended period of time. Giving our troops the time and opportunity to capture them peacefully and without bodily harm. The pudding also contains and defeats any explosive charges or bullets.
9C) Our Air Force will not deliver traditional, tactical bombs. Rather, they will deliver large water ballons which contain a hybrid Tequila formula and upon impact these ballons erupt and the formula converts into an intoxicating and disabling vapor. Opponents will be rendered drunk and incapable of physical violence. The formula also has a long term effect in which it converts violent people, into peace-loving, flower-picking, tree-hugging hippies. Grateful Dead and Phish albums will be provided to them, for their enjoyment.
10) All children are protected under law. It is every citizens duty to keep all children safe from physical, emotional and sexual harm.
11) Nipples are not evil, nor are breasts. All breasts and nipples are to be respected and cherished for their true beauty and their life-nurturing essence. All praise the Boobies!!
12) The environment and all of it's life-giving resources are to be respected!! Pollution will be reduced to a bare minimum.
13) Males can go topless too, if they choose to do so.
14) High Quality Education will be a primary priority. As well all of the arts.
15) The Teletubbies TV show, videos and merchandising is strictly prohibited! (I) The King finds it severly disturbing and void of any educational value, whatsoever. And it's not because of that stupid "gay" accusation of one of the charcters. They are simply creepy:D
Section B:
Punishments:
Level One: Individuals assigned this punishment will be subjected to 72 hours of continueous Jessica Simpson music, through large (6 foot) loudspeakers, their ears tickeled with a feather, every two hours; and subjected to continueous DVD episodes of the TV show Dharma & Greg- for another 72 hours.
Level Two: Individuals assigned this punishment will be subjected to 48 hours of Britney Spears music with Caly Aikens vocals over-dubbed to simulate a Britney/Clay Duet, through large (6 foot) loudspeakers. Then another 48 hours of eating nothing but White Castle cheesburgers.
Level Three: Individuals assigned this punishment will be subjected to watching the daytime, woman's talk show....The View; for two weeks straight.
As I (your King) stated earlier, the rest of the Laws are your choices. Please submit your requests for Laws, so they can be put to vote.
Meanwhile, the King will be down at the beach watching all the boobies...I mean.......surfers:D
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
NOvel IDEA!!
Oh and btw, I thought Zionist was a good thing to be, in your eyes, of course?
So the point you make is....???
I sense an 'axis of evil' that seeks out and berates posters and people with fair honest opinions.
Mmmm, or maybe its just me.
You already are:D Didn't you get the e-mail?
You are to be assigned tomorrow afternoon, at the big beach party! Bring your swimming trunks and surfboard!
Just got it! Now, for conspiracy purposes only.. shall we assign pieces of gazza to stain? That way, when he throws the first jab, we are justified to go after him and the territories.