A Break For Some Chuckles
NMyTree
Posts: 2,374
These are actual bloopers and grammatical mishaps from church bulletins, all over the country:
" Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. "
" The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. "
" The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing,"Break Forth Into Joy. "
" Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. "
" The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. "
" Thursday night Pot Luck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow. "
" A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. "
" Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. "
" Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. "
" The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. "
" Don't let worry kill you, let the church help. "
" This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. "
" Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study. "
" Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. "
" Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. "
" The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday. "
" Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals. "
" Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. "
" Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time. "
" During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. "
" The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility. "
" This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. "
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
:D
" Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. "
" The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. "
" The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing,"Break Forth Into Joy. "
" Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. "
" The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. "
" Thursday night Pot Luck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow. "
" A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. "
" Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. "
" Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. "
" The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. "
" Don't let worry kill you, let the church help. "
" This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. "
" Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study. "
" Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. "
" Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. "
" The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday. "
" Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals. "
" Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. "
" Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time. "
" During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. "
" The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility. "
" This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. "
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
:D Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
LOL...yeah like the worst candy ever...Nice thread thanks for the laugh!
'If my fuckin' ex-wife told me to take care of her dog while her and her new boyfriend went to Honolulu, I'd tell her to go fuck herself." -The Dude
Whisky Drinker, Non-Hunter from Denver.