Paid maternity/paternity leave?
blackredyellow
Posts: 5,889
With our first child on the way in January, and figuring how we are going to pay for everything and for my wife to either stay at home or use some sort of child care, I have read a lot about different types of maternity/paternity leave.
From everything that I've read, it appears that the United States is the only industrialized country that doesn't have some sort of paid leave for a child.
We live in New York state, so she will be eligible for short term disabilty (basically 50% of her pay) for 8-12 weeks, but that pales in comparison to just about every other developed country.
Do you think the fact that a lot of parents not being able to afford to stay at home, contributing to some of the social problems that we are having in our country?
Could the rise of things like ADD be attributed to so many kids in daycare from the time they are infants? Part of me thinks that not getting the one on one attention at such an early age as generations in the past helps cause some the problems we are seeing now.
From everything that I've read, it appears that the United States is the only industrialized country that doesn't have some sort of paid leave for a child.
We live in New York state, so she will be eligible for short term disabilty (basically 50% of her pay) for 8-12 weeks, but that pales in comparison to just about every other developed country.
Do you think the fact that a lot of parents not being able to afford to stay at home, contributing to some of the social problems that we are having in our country?
Could the rise of things like ADD be attributed to so many kids in daycare from the time they are infants? Part of me thinks that not getting the one on one attention at such an early age as generations in the past helps cause some the problems we are seeing now.
My whole life
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of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
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First it is extremely sad that the US ranks with Liberia as far as providing maternity/paternity pay for new parents. As for the rest of your post I don't know. Our oldest son stayed home with my wife until he was old enough to go to Pre-K, 4 years old. Our second oldest stayed home till he was old enough for Pre-3, which was only 3 days a week for half the day. Our youngest started going to daycare at the age of 18 months. So far the youngest is the most social one of the 3. He also was pooty trained the quickest and is the more advanced than his brothers where at his age. I think it has it's advantages but it also depends on the facility you place the child. We where lucky to have found a place that did not just plop the kids in front of a TV to watch videos all day and who had a low child to caregiver ratio (5 to 1).
Yeah, I really don't know what impact it has overall, but with all of the violence issue and just social issues in general with kids today compared to other countries, this maybe be a contributing factor. It's probably more of a correlation/causation thing since kinds with a good day care provider are generally better off than staying home with bad parents. Like your example of day care just plopping them in front of a TV, I'm sure plenty of stay home parents do the same thing.
It's just kind of depressing that when my wife goes back to work, like half of her paycheck will be paying for day care.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
It is very expensive. It cost about $160 a week just to have our youngest in daycare/Pre-K 3 for three days a week. He is there from 9 am - 2:30 pm. I can imagine how much it must cost some parents who have their children there from before 8 am till well past 5 pm. It must be a fortune.
we've looked at a few places here (Albany area), and they are about $200 a week for M-F like 9-5. The problem that we have is that most of these places lock you in to that price even if the kid stays at home for a day. I understand they have to base their costs on staffing and budgets and everything, but I work in an arena, and with all the evening and weekend events, I get a day or two off during the week (at least during the busy season)... I don't want to have to pay for that.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln
Samething with my youngest. If he misses a day for any reason we still have to pay. Further more they are closed the week between Christmas and New Years and for one week during the summer but we still have to pay for those two weeks even though the facility is closed. They pretty much have you by the balls because you need them more than they need you. The place where Colin attends has a waiting list so if I pull him out there is a list of kids waiting to take his place. Thank god this is his last year because next year he will be old enough to attend Pre-K at the local public school where our son Ethan is now enrolled.
Negotiate with them due to your special circumstances and take your business to someone who will accommodate. Of course, you'll have to make a commitment to a number of days that you watch the child, etc.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
From my experience, I always thought short term disability applied until her doctor releases her to go back to work after the baby is born. Usually that is 6 weeks. So, your state supplements that somehow for up to 12 weeks? That's pretty cool.
We planned and pinched pennies while I was pregnant. By the time my baby girl arrived, we had enough money saved so that I could take 18 months off after her to be a mom full time. I loved it.
It broke my heart to have to put her in daycare. And the price! Oiy. At some point, you have to weigh if the cost is worth it. Unfortunately for most of us it is.
I think that if wages and benefits were such that one partner didn't need to work to help support the family, it would be a dream come true. Those that wished to stay home could and those that wish to work could. I do agree with you about wondering how many issues that kids might just evaporate if one parent could stay home and raise them while they are young. But on the other hand, I know my daughter is happy and well adjusted thanks, in part, to being in daycare at such a young age.
The problem is that most places will not negotiate because there are usually a slew of kids waiting in-line to get into a good daycare. I'm sure some crappy place that just plops the child in front of a tv for several hours a day will work with you but the better places really don't need your business because there are dozens of other parents wanting to get their kids in there.
The place where Colin attends is the same way. They keep their enrollment low so their is more caregiver/child interaction. So because of this there is a waiting list and if I or my ex-wife are displeased with the lack of cooperation with us they will not care because another child will just take Colin's place. So you are forced to pay their rates because as a parent you want what is best for your child.
that and the internet, which has a tremendous impact on children
i WILL say, my mother was a working mother. long before it was fashionable, and long before it became a true necessity for most parents. it was her CHOICE to work, b/c she wanted to, my parents had their own business, etc. i think she did care for us all as babies, but once toddlers....it was a combo of a daytime, at-home nanny and preschool. personally, i think it served us all quite well. however, my mom worked 9 to 5, CLOSE to home, and that was it. i think daycare is just fine, even somewhat beneficial, i just think some parents may need to use it too much.
and just to chime in for the daycare centers: being a former educator, and also did some time in a preschool, most of those careworkers/teachers are not paid all that well, and there is a HIGH cost for such services, especially insurance. i totally understand WHY a good quality center would charge a flat, weekly rate year-round...so that perhaps they can offer half-way decent pay, benefits and time-off.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
I do have to say the center my son attends does offer it's employees benefits and paid time off. It is a pretty steep price to pay but it is one of the best centers in the area and the owner does take care of her employees who in turn provide the best possible care and education to the children in their charge.
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I can hardly contain my laughter. So witty.
I work for a Canadian corporation who's main plant is less than an hour from the US plant I work in that provides full daycare, on location, for the workers kids in Canada, yet, here in the US, it simply doesn't exist.
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Get ALL the help you can get after that we hired a nanny and paid her cash weekly for 2 half years. Then she went off to pre-school at 3, at the time I was a pre-school teacher.
Peace
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Not paid... Under FMLA, you get 12 weeks, but it's unpaid.
was like a picture
of a sunny day
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
― Abraham Lincoln