not much to do with politics, but,...
sonicreducer
Posts: 713
what would you do if you knew a dude had previously beaten a girl, but you didn't have solid proof? (say you saw a black eye, but didn't take a picture)
im almost positive, unless this girl is canniving as fuck and crazy and a damn good liar, that this dude has hit her more than once.
i contacted the dude and gave him my cell phone number. (i want to kick the mother fucker's ass, but,...) i told him that threatening to kick his ass wouldn't do me any good or any justice. i told him that i wanted to call his family and tell them what he had done. he is in college. he is supposedly a good kid and i just don't know what to do. you don't hit girls. any advice to this pothetic drama???
im almost positive, unless this girl is canniving as fuck and crazy and a damn good liar, that this dude has hit her more than once.
i contacted the dude and gave him my cell phone number. (i want to kick the mother fucker's ass, but,...) i told him that threatening to kick his ass wouldn't do me any good or any justice. i told him that i wanted to call his family and tell them what he had done. he is in college. he is supposedly a good kid and i just don't know what to do. you don't hit girls. any advice to this pothetic drama???
you're a real hooker. im gonna slap you in public.
~Ron Burgundy
~Ron Burgundy
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http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
He needs counselling and support to learn how to deal with his anger issues and learn other ways of being in a relationship and dealing with his life besides his fists.
And you most likely need to talk to a professional about what the best course of action is to support and help her and somehow help him.
Do you have a counsellor at college you can talk to? That would be a good start I suspect. Sorry if I'm assuming that you are in college, if you aren't then there are domestic violence groups that could be of assistance. I think you did really good not to kick his arse. It's usually the first response from male friends of abused women and it doesn't help. Often what ever you dish out on him, he just saves up and dishes out on her ten fold later when they're alone again. If you can keep your cool, support her and make her feel safe and find some help from professionals in your area I reckon that's the best way to go. Having said all that, it's a huge situation and not an easy one to negotiate, so just do your best, try to stay calm and supportive and hopefully you'll manage a good outcome for all of you. I don't know if that helps. I hope it does. It's much easier being on the outside of the situation looking in.
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Too bad you already threatened him, next time dont say shit. Find out where he parks his car at night, go there with some gas and matches...
j/k BTW. This actually happened to my friends car because someone confused his car with the the guy who raped his sister.
I would probably make sure she had contact information for crisis centers, domestic violence shelters, counselors, etc. (on a very small paper or something he would be unlikely to find), sufficient money & transportation to leave quickly, and a cell phone. [SIDENOTE: There are places, including some cell phone companies, that let you donate old cell phones to women who are victims of domestic violence.] Of course, she could probably use your emotional support as well. Also, there's a pretty good website - domesticviolence.org - that might be helpful to her and to you. And if she's a college student, most universities have some kind of support service for victims of domestic violence. And I totally agree with Jeanie that building up self-esteem is really important.
If this guys's your best friend or something and you feel like you have some sway with him, maybe talking to him or his family would be helpful - but you just have to make that judgement very carefully because you wouldn't want to piss him off.
It's so hard to say. I mean, you never know what people are capable of. I think there are some guys out there who hit women who would rather kill them than loose control. But I think there are some guys who have maybe lost their temper and hit a woman once or twice who hopefully could be helped by a recognition of the gravity of their actions and some anger management. Too bad you never really know which is which. Of course, it's completely unacceptable either way.
Just my two cents...
Can you call the police?
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I think he left. I appreciate your suggestion though.
That kind of thing's always hard, because so many people (especially, from my experience, college kids like my neighbors) scream at each other when they're angry, but they would never hit one another. If they feel the need to argue that way, I don't want to interrupt. Of course, if anything bad ever happened, I'd feel horrible.
Thanks again for your suggestion. Sorry if I momentarily hijacked this important thread.
No worries.
It is always difficult to decide what to do. I think it's better to ring the police and risk a little embarrassment for a potential overeaction than to do too little and regret it because someone was seriously hurt. And it's not like going over yourself would have necessarily been a good thing. Anyway, seems to have ended well enough.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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~Ron Burgundy
Good to know. Hope she is ok.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift