Are you raising another man's child?

surferdude
surferdude Posts: 2,057
edited April 2007 in A Moving Train
http://men.msn.com/articlemh.aspx?cp-documentid=4725722&page=1

Article states that a million men (or more) are unknowingly raising children that are not their's.

Should doctors be obligated to share this information with the father if they find out?
Should women be obligated to share this information if they find out?
Should women be obligated to have paternity testing done when there is any chance of this having occured?
Should government play a role in this?
“One good thing about music,
when it hits you, you feel to pain.
So brutalize me with music.”
~ Bob Marley
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • mammasan
    mammasan Posts: 5,656
    surferdude wrote:
    http://men.msn.com/articlemh.aspx?cp-documentid=4725722&page=1

    Article states that a million men (or more) are unknowingly raising children that are not their's.

    Should doctors be obligated to share this information with the father if they find out?
    Should women be obligated to share this information if they find out?
    Should women be obligated to have paternity testing done when there is any chance of this having occured?
    Should government play a role in this?

    No.
    Morally and ethically they should tell the man raising the child as his own, but not legally.
    No.
    Definetly NO.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • surferdude
    surferdude Posts: 2,057
    mammasan wrote:
    No.
    Morally and ethically they should tell the man raising the child as his own, but not legally.
    No.
    Definetly NO.
    So do you think men should have pretty much absolutely zero reproductive rights other than the right to pay child support?
    “One good thing about music,
    when it hits you, you feel to pain.
    So brutalize me with music.”
    ~ Bob Marley
  • hippiemom
    hippiemom Posts: 3,326
    surferdude wrote:
    Should doctors be obligated to share this information with the father if they find out?
    If it is the father's doctor, yes, absolutely. If it is someone else's doctor, confidentiality rules would prohibit it.
    surferdude wrote:
    Should women be obligated to share this information if they find out?
    Yes. I think they should be legally liable for damages if they knowingly lied about it.
    surferdude wrote:
    Should women be obligated to have paternity testing done when there is any chance of this having occured?
    I don't understand what women would have to have done. If a man is the child's legal father, can't he consent to have the blood test done, then have himself tested?

    In any case, I'm opposed to forced medical procedures, so I don't think women should be forced to have any testing done on themselves, if that's what you're asking.
    surferdude wrote:
    Should government play a role in this?
    The less the better, but since I think women should be held liable for damages, I say yes.
    "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
  • onelongsong
    onelongsong Posts: 3,517
    surferdude wrote:
    http://men.msn.com/articlemh.aspx?cp-documentid=4725722&page=1

    Article states that a million men (or more) are unknowingly raising children that are not their's.

    Should doctors be obligated to share this information with the father if they find out?
    Should women be obligated to share this information if they find out?
    Should women be obligated to have paternity testing done when there is any chance of this having occured?
    Should government play a role in this?

    many states now require paternity tests for all child support cases. paternity tests should be required at birth. nobody should have to go through what i did.
  • surferdude
    surferdude Posts: 2,057
    hippiemom wrote:
    Yes. I think they should be legally liable for damages if they knowingly lied about it.
    Did you know that rather than this, that many men are often forced by the courts to continue to pay child support even after they've proven they are not the child's biological father?

    Should a step-parent ever be held liable for child support?

    Should a parent be able to collect child-support from multiple people? i.e. Mother collects child support from bio dad and a now ex step-parent?

    I'm really interested in how woman who believe in equal rights respond.
    “One good thing about music,
    when it hits you, you feel to pain.
    So brutalize me with music.”
    ~ Bob Marley
  • onelongsong
    onelongsong Posts: 3,517
    hippiemom wrote:
    I don't understand what women would have to have done. If a man is the child's legal father, can't he consent to have the blood test done, then have himself tested?

    In any case, I'm opposed to forced medical procedures, so I don't think women should be forced to have any testing done on themselves, if that's what you're asking.
    .

    it takes both parents DNA to establish paternity. since it's only a cotton swab inside the mouth i don't see a problem.
  • hippiemom
    hippiemom Posts: 3,326
    surferdude wrote:
    Did you know that rather than this, that many men are often forced by the courts to continue to pay child support even after they've proven they are not the child's biological father?
    That is a bullshit situation if ever I heard one. The child should become eligible for public benefits until the biological father can be found, and there should be serious penalties against the mother if she knowingly perpetrated a fraud.
    surferdude wrote:
    Should a step-parent ever be held liable for child support?
    Not unless he knowingly and deliberately volunteered to be the source of support for the child. If he adopted or otherwise assumed legal custody, then yes. Otherwise, no.
    surferdude wrote:
    Should a parent be able to collect child-support from multiple people? i.e. Mother collects child support from bio dad and a now ex step-parent?
    I'm having a hard time imagining a scenario in which that would be appropriate, so I'd have to say no.
    "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
  • onelongsong
    onelongsong Posts: 3,517
    surferdude wrote:
    Did you know that rather than this, that many men are often forced by the courts to continue to pay child support even after they've proven they are not the child's biological father?

    Should a step-parent ever be held liable for child support?

    Should a parent be able to collect child-support from multiple people? i.e. Mother collects child support from bio dad and a now ex step-parent?

    I'm really interested in how woman who believe in equal rights respond.

    exactly. if the court finds that a parent/child relationship has been established; the "acting" father will pay support. even if the mother returns to the biological father.
  • hippiemom
    hippiemom Posts: 3,326
    onelongsong wrote:
    it takes both parents DNA to establish paternity. since it's only a cotton swab inside the mouth i don't see a problem.
    If there's reason to believe the woman committed a crime, a warrant can be issued ordering her to submit to testing. Otherwise, no. I don't care how minor the procedure is. I decide who sticks a swab in my mouth and when.
    "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
  • surferdude
    surferdude Posts: 2,057
    hippiemom wrote:
    If there's reason to believe the woman committed a crime, a warrant can be issued ordering her to submit to testing. Otherwise, no. I don't care how minor the procedure is. I decide who sticks a swab in my mouth and when.
    Even at the expense of a child knowing who her true parents are? Does the child at least not have this basic right to know who his/her parents are?
    “One good thing about music,
    when it hits you, you feel to pain.
    So brutalize me with music.”
    ~ Bob Marley
  • norm
    norm Posts: 31,146
    surferdude wrote:
    Even at the expense of a child knowing who her true parents are? Does the child at least not have this basic right to know who his/her parents are?

    And we ignore the 4th Amendment?
  • onelongsong
    onelongsong Posts: 3,517
    hippiemom wrote:
    That is a bullshit situation if ever I heard one. The child should become eligible for public benefits until the biological father can be found, and there should be serious penalties against the mother if she knowingly perpetrated a fraud.

    wrong. the acting father is still responsable. prove knowingly. you can't prove what people know.
    hippiemom wrote:
    Not unless he knowingly and deliberately volunteered to be the source of support for the child. If he adopted or otherwise assumed legal custody, then yes. Otherwise, no.

    this started when a man sued for visitation rights of a step child he developed a close relationship with. it is very possible to get support for a step-child. in fact; a step child can receive benefits from a step fathers family benefits.
    hippiemom wrote:
    I'm having a hard time imagining a scenario in which that would be appropriate, so I'd have to say no.

    that does happen but not legally. it's done by moving to another state. the guy who thinks he's the father; is paying support from his state. the mother moves out of state and identifies the real father and another state collects from him. if she moves to yet another state and keeps her bank accounts in the collecting states; she can also get welfare claiming the father is unknown. that's the way my ex did it.
  • onelongsong
    onelongsong Posts: 3,517
    hippiemom wrote:
    If there's reason to believe the woman committed a crime, a warrant can be issued ordering her to submit to testing. Otherwise, no. I don't care how minor the procedure is. I decide who sticks a swab in my mouth and when.

    the courts give out warrants for DNA samples like candy on halloween. i could say i think i'm the father of your child and get a warrant for your DNA in a heartbeat. no matter how much you fuss and fight; the judge will rule that the only way to find the truth is with a DNA test. unless you can convince the judge we never had sexual contact; which is impossible.
  • my2hands
    my2hands Posts: 17,117
    wow, i dont even want to think about that.

    it would suck to be any of the 4 people invloved.
  • brain of c
    brain of c Posts: 5,213
    surferdude wrote:
    So do you think men should have pretty much absolutely zero reproductive rights other than the right to pay child support?

    i fulfilled that right. my dna. i will not deny my own flesh and blood. and now 21 years later.......i finally have a clue to contact amber, my baby girl i've never met.
    d'oh!!!!!!

    http://www.myspace.com/brain_of_c
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    onelongsong wrote:
    the courts give out warrants for DNA samples like candy on halloween. i could say i think i'm the father of your child and get a warrant for your DNA in a heartbeat. no matter how much you fuss and fight; the judge will rule that the only way to find the truth is with a DNA test. unless you can convince the judge we never had sexual contact; which is impossible.

    oh fuck off. why should i have to prove we havent had sexual contact. as the accuser the onus should be on you to prove we did. which is impossible.

    what i love is those girls on maury povich and other shows that are absolutely certain some particular man is the father of their child and then it turns out that they're not. exactly how many men do these girls sleep within such a short span of time that there'd be confusion or even doubt?
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • prism
    prism Posts: 2,440
    catefrances wrote:
    oh fuck off. why should i have to prove we havent had sexual contact. as the accuser the onus should be on you to prove we did. which is impossible.

    what i love is those girls on maury povich and other shows that are absolutely certain some particular man is the father of their child and then it turns out that they're not. exactly how many men do these girls sleep within such a short span of time that there'd be confusion or even doubt?

    those shows are hilarious. b...b...but i KNOWS he be my baby daddy!


    everytime that i've been pregnant i never had any doubt who the baby daddy was....I guess i'm just not slutty enough. :)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    prism wrote:
    those shows are hilarious. b...b...but i KNOWS he be my baby daddy!


    everytime that i've been pregnant i never had any doubt who the baby daddy was....I guess i'm just not slutty enough. :)

    well you just ain't been trying girl. :D:D:p
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • prism
    prism Posts: 2,440
    catefrances wrote:
    well you just ain't been trying girl. :D:D:p

    well you know, being that I'm so busy running Mistress Prism's School for Wayward Sluts i just can't seem to find the time ;)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • soulsinging
    soulsinging Posts: 13,202
    surferdude wrote:
    http://men.msn.com/articlemh.aspx?cp-documentid=4725722&page=1

    Article states that a million men (or more) are unknowingly raising children that are not their's.

    Should doctors be obligated to share this information with the father if they find out?
    Should women be obligated to share this information if they find out?
    Should women be obligated to have paternity testing done when there is any chance of this having occured?
    Should government play a role in this?

    YES... privacy be fucking damned, if the whore is squirting out someone else's kid and expects ME to pay to raise it i godamn well have a right to know.
    YES... see above. take accountability for your actions.
    no. i don't even know how that would work.
    as in mandatory testing at birth? no, probly not. should there be legal recourse for men who suspect? you're damn right there should be.

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