Why is it?

Ayedavanita

That Bobby Brown gets arrested for owing two months' support, or $11,000? However my ex might pay $100 once every six months and owes arrears of $14,714.19. We've been to court over and over but he's had a job for a few weeks each time and they just let him go. No slap on the wrist or anything. Today I find out that now he's had a second child with his new girlfriend while he's not paying for the three he had with me. I don't get the system!

Ahnimus

That women almost always win custody battles?

Ayedavanita

Ahnimus wrote:

That women almost always win custody battles?

Yet another very good question. Why is that? Even women who shouldn't have custody end up getting it over the men.

Ahnimus

Ayedavanita wrote:

Yet another very good question. Why is that? Even women who shouldn't have custody end up getting it over the men.

Yea, part of the reason I don't pay much attention to dead-beats. I think fixing that obvious inequality would bring more attention to the fact that there are a lot of dead-beats.

decides2dream

Ahnimus wrote:

Yea, part of the reason I don't pay much attention to dead-beats. I think fixing that obvious inequality would bring more attention to the fact that there are a lot of dead-beats.

both issues should be addressed, but as far as assisting children TODAY, yea....might be nice to be sure money is going to support the children out there now. and i agree.....i don't know why the 'big' celeb cases get taken care of, although it all comes down to $$$ as ever. obviously, bigger/better lawyers, and yea..it's known the money is there, and perhaps with your ex, it's the old...'can't get blood from a stone?' dunno. all i do know, is it's a problem that is NOT going away.

Ayedavanita

I think maybe the bigger question for me is this...why if you won't pay for your children would you have more or why won't you pay for your children period? Male or female. I know it opens up a whole can of worms but I'm just frustrated and love my kids so much that it makes no sense to me how anyone could do that. The answer is that my ex is a piece of crap, selfish little fuck. The other answers are way beyond my knowledge.

Ahnimus

Ayedavanita wrote:

I think maybe the bigger question for me is this...why if you won't pay for your children would you have more or why won't you pay for your children period? Male or female. I know it opens up a whole can of worms but I'm just frustrated and love my kids so much that it makes no sense to me how anyone could do that. The answer is that my ex is a piece of crap, selfish little fuck. The other answers are way beyond my knowledge.

My problem is, I've heard both sides of this same story.

He is an asshole, he won't support his kids.

She is a bitch, I can't afford the payment, she has no idea my financial situation, I'm asked to pay over half of my income and I can't afford more than a fucking closet in someone else's apartment.

I've actually heard these statements from men and women in the same situations. It's hard for me to take any sides on the issue. I think too often, people win custody battles, usually because of their gender and the other person is required to pay a ridiculous amount to support kids they rarely get to see.

A guy said to me once "I get to see my kids once a month and I can't even afford to buy them an ice-cream cone. All of my money goes to child support payments."

He also told me at different times that the kids weren't wearing new clothes or anything, he had no idea where his support payments were actually going, but he was sharing an apartment and he was a retired teacher, forced to work for minimum wage to survive.

In another case, a close friend/relative of mine, collected child-support from 2 different fathers and usually spent it on either:
• Drugs
• Furniture, Stereo, Barbeque, etc..
• Her own clothes

So hopefully you can see why I'm sitting on the fence.