A lyric? Just weird poetry?

mumi

It's the first time I try writing in english...
Do you feel it?
I like playing with words....:D



NOT EMPTY (Watery Land)

Standing down here, the foot of the pedestal
They decide, they make, they waste...
On our watery lands
Feeling over the truth that’s not ours
To keep, to feel, to fight (for)
We’ve got nothing beside

We are not empty
We breath, we live, we fight, we feel

We are not empty
We’re used, we get dumped, they don’t mind

Watching over on BBC, scare of their reality
There’s freedom, there’s power, they’re leading?
Lack of responsability

We are not hearing
Our needs, our rights, our believes

We are not empty
We know, we’ll fight, we’ll take the risk

‘Cause our floor is not broken, desires unspoken,
Misseducation is fashion, value forgotten
Within ourselves, between mountain and see
And the rouling of fools, see:

“No left” they said
Now our fathers lay dead
No grave, just pain, disolving this land
This land that is ours

We are not empty
We know, we’ll fight, we’ll take the risk

Someday now.
On our watery land.

depopulationINC

you might want to post in the poetry section, not the art wall

civ_eng_girl

oh, nevermind where it's posted...

it was great!!
i've been speaking english my whole life, and couldn't write a poem to save my life!!
great job!!

mumi

uoch! I apologize, I did´t know there was a poetry section, or I could'nt find it...I'll post it there
Thanks civ_eng_girl for the comment!!

mumi

Mmmm...I can't find a poetry thread...were is it?? I think my browser is malfunctioning

EvilToasterElf

I have been told that second language speakers who write poetry often write very clear and powerfully, their understanding of the language is more the logic of the grammar in most cases so they transfer that to what they write - and the directness often makes it more forceful

I have a lot of respect as someone who has only written one poem in a different language, and it was not very good, god I want to be bi-lingual.