Cloak of darkness..

deannemcdeannemc Posts: 5
edited January 2009 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Imagine being covered by a cloak of darkness
The heavy fabric leaves you gasping for air
Your struggle for life only firms the cloaks fit
Until it entirely smothers your skin, your soul, your hair.

The fabric of my cloak is meticulously created
From threads of guilt, hopelessness and despair
Lovingly woven by silent but deafening hands
Removing my sense of worthiness for all I love and care.

My cloak of darkness constantly whispers to me
Words of discouragement, failure and self hate
Never allowing me to think with my rational mind
Caressing me with memories of my every failure & mistakes.

The without warning the cloak turns bright white
Blinding hot light running at a rapid pace
Brain in overdrive – planning, plotting, dreaming
Like a maniac on speed headlong it makes me race

And when the blinding white cloak exhausts me
Having teased me with a perfect future of dreams and goals
It silently reverts to black and whispers again
Laughing and mocking me, knowing it was always in control.

So now my cloak of darkness has a name
And I struggle knowing it will always be there
A layer of insanity now part of me
Covering my skin, my soul, my hair
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • This is my first posting - so don't be too harsh with the comments!
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    Why would someone be harsh? This one is interesting.
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  • Thanks - I was very nervous putting my private work out there.
    This one was written after my recent diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    deannemc wrote:
    Thanks - I was very nervous putting my private work out there.
    This one was written after my recent diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

    That's what it seemed like to me because of the extreme mood change that you described. Do you feel relieved to know what it is?
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  • It was a relief to finally put a name to the behaviour. But the prospect of being on meds for the rest of my life is something I haven't come to terms with yet. The drugs make me very slow and lethargic and I do miss the manic moments where everything is absolutely fantastic and I feel like I am flying....
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