He is still here

finnannie

He is still here

a man who never cried,
cried.
well,
at least he shed a tear - or two.
the fear, bursting out
the sadness coming alive
climbing from the dark
face, that had always been without fear
no signs of breaking
was now so uncertain

when i heard the sound
of him falling down
fear crept into my thoughts
still, very calm outside

there he was
on the floor
hands cold,
like he had been standing in a freezing rain
that he had never even seen
standing before something
very different

i looked at him

they came
took him
told him, he might not come back
it almost broke him
hope - brought no comfort
I touched his hand, he moved it away

all could end today

fixed,
uncertainty-
hovering over

he is still here
he is

i fear
the day we'll lose him
i hope
the day will never come

maybe now
he will start doing
what he really wants to, but wont tell
maybe
he will do
what is best for him
not us

old is still young inside
like the work that we do
- is not who we are
our bodies, old and failing
won't tell
what we have inside

roles we are playing, in this game
are nothing
without the story
for which they are here for

part of everything
everything apart
all surrounds all

life and time
they just go by

---

to my grandfather, who raised me
and who is still alive

deadnote

beautiful