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the fall of water

walden freemanwalden freeman Posts: 511
edited November 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
gather and kneel
hold hands, hold conversations
it's over and i'm overconfident
the end is my favorite part
of the word godsend
and send god this message
fuck your sky neverending
love for yourself
the sea is a mirror
the lord is vain
we are pawns in intergalactic
holy chess, i'm a sidekick
i'm on the backburner freezing
in the shattering spotlights
of past decades
they danced
held trees tightly
why? fuck trees
coats in the summer?
bare in the winter
mocking the homeless
with a smile, coldblooded
able to adapt
i believe humans evolved
from the magma that scorched
our proud planet naked
in the sunlight years
before there was a need for land
god sat alone smiling
flossing his teeth into stars
and creating comets
for the endtimes cometh
and hating the speech impediments
he graced us with years ago!
set us up for failure.
logic is nobody's friend
and that's why we feel so alone
i sat on rumson avenue beach
whistling a happy tune
early the other morning
and texting you to remind you
of the good times we had here
burying each other in the sand
until our legs fell asleep
like the saviors did
when we were born
nobody ever gave a fuck
hearts break
and records break
and keep repeating
new thoughts
how could we ever exist this way?
the dunes disappearing
the constant struggle of the sand
to remain dirty
the impending arrival
of the high tide
too intoxicated to move
i realize it's too cold to sleep here
it's too convenient to believe
that anything or anyone
will exist after death except
in our dreams which may be
the only glimmer of any heaven
hell or purgatory or afterlife
or great beyond
or pearly gates tarnished
by our lack of imagination
i for one am alone
i alone am alone
armed and ready to fight
long distance, not using my arms
but weapons
killing is no longer personal
we no longer have to see faces
we just have to blow to pieces
the bad guys
god is on our side
god loves america
god bless god
god bless you god
you have sneezed the life out
of us all
we've been existing not by choice
but by accident for too long
i'm so sick of sickness
i'm so mad at myself
for donating my old clothes
when i have newer nicer ones
to burn in front of the poor
and laugh all the way through
to the banks of blood
contaminated with cures
for those
the bible condemned
these thoughts anyway
fuck the trumpets of armageddon
fuck the paintings of the renaissance
hello the matadors of spain
hello the pyramids of egypt
hello the east indian tea company
hello caffienated bays
hello barristas hello churchgoers
hello holy faithful good soldiers of the lord
hello notebooks full of memories
hello notebooks full of regret
hello repetition
hello handwriting hello typographical errors
hello judgment hello day
hello night hello shining armor of angel
hello halloween hello costumes
hello candy hello consumption
hello hallmark
fuck the truth
fuck the reason fuck the season
fuck the west and the east
fuck the bridges fuck the drawings
fuck the moats and their blueprints
fuck the colorblind architects
fuck the tidal waves
fuck the unsettled plains and deserts
fuck falling water!
forget me forgetting your birthday
forget your birth
forget to write back
forget forget forget
this is a reminder to not remember
the words of our youths
oh lord save the delaware valley
oh lord save atlantic city
oh lord save the jersey shore
oh lord the smoking ban is lifted
we can cloud our rooms again
not look at each others' faces
we can bomb foreign lands
we can blame each other
we can point fingers
we can laugh we can sob
we can't comprehend how stupid we've always been
because we have always been fucking stupid
oh lord save stupidity or lose your empire!
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Bu2Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    I'm left speechless, and somewhat envious that you could put all my feelings into words the way I only wish I could.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    That's one angry string of words. :eek:
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • yellowbirdyellowbird Posts: 184
    justam wrote:
    That's one angry string of words. :eek:

    i call it passion
    nice job
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Walden, are you a fan of Ginsberg perchance?
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • walden freemanwalden freeman Posts: 511
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    Walden, are you a fan of Ginsberg perchance?

    I'm heavily influenced by Allen Ginsberg and find many of his techniques useful.
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    walden freeman wrote:
    I'm heavily influenced by Allen Ginsberg and find many of his techniques useful.
    The influence is obvious but not imposing and not hackneyed.

    I feel you may actually be a better poet too, much of Ginsberg, particularly Howl, is quite unpoetic. I think he struggled too much because of his lack of form. He could have written the second half of your poem but I do not think he could have written the first.

    Make of that what you will :)
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • walden freemanwalden freeman Posts: 511
    Actually I'm honored to be compared but to be honest, I feel Ginsberg's poetry is panned because it is misunderstood. He wasn't afraid to write anything and when I started writing, I was. I hadn't really gotten into Ginsberg until about three years ago and I was shocked to see that my early writings were (mostly) complete garbage but I had started to evolve and I saw similarities in how I was forming some of my writing to Ginsberg's without having even read his. The more I read of his the more I realized that poetry and prose are one in the same and are bodies of water and clouds in that they can take different shapes and sizes and forms and even colors but are always easily recognizable because they are what they are.

    There are a few things I stay away from when I write, most notably using any capital letters because I like to emphasize that life is an accident as is our intellect and ego, and therefore we do not deserve capital letters in our names in the grand scheme of things. Meanwhile, I hypocritically write with proper grammar in instances where I'm not writing poetry (such as now).

    That all being said, I feel Ginsberg is a vastly superior poet to many. Just read "America" and "Europe, Europe." They're incredible. "Howl" is excellent but is not nearly his best work and the footnote (part four in actuality) is the best part in this humble man's humble opinion.
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    walden freeman wrote:
    Actually I'm honored to be compared but to be honest, I feel Ginsberg's poetry is panned because it is misunderstood. He wasn't afraid to write anything and when I started writing, I was. I hadn't really gotten into Ginsberg until about three years ago and I was shocked to see that my early writings were (mostly) complete garbage but I had started to evolve and I saw similarities in how I was forming some of my writing to Ginsberg's without having even read his. The more I read of his the more I realized that poetry and prose are one in the same and are bodies of water and clouds in that they can take different shapes and sizes and forms and even colors but are always easily recognizable because they are what they are.

    There are a few things I stay away from when I write, most notably using any capital letters because I like to emphasize that life is an accident as is our intellect and ego, and therefore we do not deserve capital letters in our names in the grand scheme of things. Meanwhile, I hypocritically write with proper grammar in instances where I'm not writing poetry (such as now).

    That all being said, I feel Ginsberg is a vastly superior poet to many. Just read "America" and "Europe, Europe." They're incredible. "Howl" is excellent but is not nearly his best work and the footnote (part four in actuality) is the best part in this humble man's humble opinion.
    Don't get me wrong, I like Ginsberg, although not as much I did when I was 16 and getting into poetry. I'm a big fan of America, I even recorded an instrumental piece of music once to accompany it, I just think that a lot of what Ginsberg did was pretty much the emperor's new clothes, he wrote a lot of stuff that sounded kind of cool but he wasn't a vastly talented poet, he would probably have been an incredible novelist in the vein of Kerouac.

    I also strongly disagree that poetry and prose are one and the same :) Prose can have poetic qualities, which is fine, but they are two separate entities. As I say, I like Ginsberg as a WRITER but to compare something like Milton or Dante, or even Eliot and Pound to Ginsberg is to see the difference between a great poet and a great writer.

    I genuinely do think the first half of your poem is of a higher poetry than Ginsberg :)
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
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