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napalm sunday

walden freemanwalden freeman Posts: 511
edited June 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
miles past the tolls that charge our cars
like carpets versus socks in winter, all breath visible
i'll sit and caption, a cartoon captain;
wander oblivious between aimed missiles

and wonder why you would like
to absord all the water
you broke the day our troubles were born

to cemetary intersections, i'd inspect
i'd expect you to at least reimburse me for loose change
or add flames to pictures of a church on a wednesday
and bathe in the remains

but long ago
shirt untucked and eyes sinking
two lungs collapsed from laughing too softly
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    you may be in order to receive
    a metal for being the cryptic writing-est
    champion

    this goes for your other poetry as well
    you have many entries rather you know it or not :D

    thank you for sharing your pen
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • walden freemanwalden freeman Posts: 511
    Well thank you sir, but I do not view my writing as being cryptic. I get that quite often though.

    Since I have been a schmuck lately about commenting on others' writing, you wrote a piece roughly a week or so ago called "Like a puppy" that I really enjoyed reading. I read it over a few times and was really satisfied with how well it was written. I'd been meaning to give you props on that one.
  • chadwickchadwick Posts: 21,157
    walden freeman wrote:
    Well thank you sir, but I do not view my writing as being cryptic. I get that quite often though.

    Since I have been a schmuck lately about commenting on others' writing, you wrote a piece roughly a week or so ago called "Like a puppy" that I really enjoyed reading. I read it over a few times and was really satisfied with how well it was written. I'd been meaning to give you props on that one.

    You're welcome..

    The deal is I myself am guilty of not commenting on others'
    who share this writing forum.

    And to those who I have not commented on their writings,
    I am the dude with his head up his ass.
    Please forgive my nature.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • ClutchTheDawnClutchTheDawn Posts: 160
    "Well thank you sir, but I do not view my writing as being cryptic. I get that quite often though."

    i think that is the beauty of it though, it doesn't seem to be cryptic to you, but for everyone who reads it, it might be interpreted differently.

    i enjoyed this one.
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