Safe World.

Purple Puppy

The children have been sent up to the moon so we won't abuse them anymore. The Matrix has become real for them. Our machines will take care of them. All they have is each other, our machines and androids. They are being monitored by A.I. and government groups on earth. They are separated by age in many different dome bases. The shortest term program is for 12 year olds, right on the brink of puberty. When they reach puberty they are sent back. All around the world babysnatchers are coming to take your babies to the moon.

Purple Puppy

You can now mail your baby breast milk. It will be on the space shuttle with them and will be with them during the first few months of their stay on the moon. I'm sorry but you can't go with them. But don't worry in just 12 safe years they will be back to you. Atleast until the governments formulate their grades 6-12 cycles. A college program on mars is being theorized. All babies are given the highest education, and wet napping.

Purple Puppy

In July you can start sending your babies puppies, of all different colors. The babies will get to play with the puppies for 5 hours everyday. And they won't get to pick them up by their ears. In the puppy domicile, hypoallergenic puppies will be cleaned, trained, fed, and prepared for your children to play, wagging their tails, in that order. All moon organisms are going to be vegetarian, starting in April. Upon return to the baby habitat, babies will be washed before sojourning with the other babies. All puppies will be scanned before post.

chadwick

I like your imagination.
Well done, as in nicely done,
not the well done like the cooking of meat, no, not that kind.

Purple Puppy

Moon zoos are in the making and will be completed in May. They will encompass all manners of animals and will be part of school. A standard zoo, no touching. Aviaries, aquariums, and working bee hives which will produce honey. They will adapt to vegetarian measures. Age-sected groups will get to peer at each other through the glass, as domes are right next to each other. An interactive butterfly garden highlights the field.

Purple Puppy

I see so many visions. Clinical trials suggest separating babies by astrological sign will cause peace in the population. We will carbon date your babies to find the proper birthdate. No more euthanasia. This program will cause longer life in humans, and puppies. No child will be deprived of tickling and kissing, by machines, androids and puppies. Sunday is ice cream day. And birthday will mean lactovegetarian birthday cake for your baby and all babies within 14 foot radius.

Brainofdz

I find your screen name irritating.

That is all.

Purple Puppy

Scary movies are being approved, but only with euphemized sub-titles. G and PG. There are great ponds for boating, kayaking, and a wave pool with sand, starfish and hermit crabs. Hair will be grown long unless bitten off. No tattoos or they will be removed. Temporary tattoos are okay for transport. Mosquitos and stinging or biting animals are limited to viewing at the zoo, except puppies. Birthday will also mean more puppy play time. Tooth brushing will be automated to prevent need for common dentistry. No alcohol-based cold medicine or cheesecake.

Purple Puppy

Brainofdz wrote:

I find your screen name irritating.

That is all.

No applesauce for you.

Purple Puppy

Children will be told that crossing their eyes will result in staying that way, not to stick their tongues on frozen poles, and that the easter bunny is coming. Lost teeth will be reimbursed by puppy play tokens and all children will get to bathe with fresh water fish. Will be soothed after bad dreams and will be latched for field trips outside the dome.

Brainofdz

Purple Puppy wrote:

No applesauce for you.

but i want some!

*stomps feet*

Purple Puppy

All Canadians kids will be taught to say eh. All kids will learn to recite the alphabet forwards, backwards and in triple time. As well as harangue geese, solo on guitar and do back flips off the ceiling. We can float everything. Field strip slurpee machines, foil robberies, and wave their arms in the air. Beat box, stay ready, start fires with sticks, and not smoke cancer sticks. Blow double bubbles, sift through rubble, and walk on cobble-stones in heels. If they make really good sand castles they can live in them. They will learn how to write a Harry Potter book, grow a third eye, have a new lease on life, train falcons, hit the snooze, throw baseballs, and mock apple pie. Be cool, type with your toes, go where noone knows, ollie on your board, make fun pasta shapes, splat wherever you traipse.

Grasshopper

keep on rockin pup' just wanted to keep this bumpin...nice job

Purple Puppy

A child has been abducted by aliens. It happened near moon base I-14356, yesterday. His name is Avery Raphael, son of millionaire financier Manuel Raphael and Emmy-award winning actress Rosalda Ramirez, so we think they may be holding him for ransom. They were out on a field trip with Robust-1 Robot, one of the first engineered robots for this making. There was a rumble in the ground and a huge whole opened, about 8 feet, and a green arm reached out and grabbed the 8 year-old boy by his foot, then incapacitated the robot with an electric blast from a small ion pistol. Excavation has begun on that spot but it appears alien technology was involved, creating a drill and raised tube erupting and delivering the alien. The child's helmet cam has been transmitting streaming images but the video has not been released to the public. And his suit's A.I. has detected oxygen in his surroundings, which astounds experts. He has taken off the helmet and replaced it. The suit also regulates body mechanisms and has properties relaxing nerves. It records impulses and brain-waves and has said that the boy is not in any conceivable danger, though the lunar positioning chip has been disabled. The robot was able to send a distress signal to the base before it was disabled, and a squad of emergency robots was sent to secure the group. The robot has recovered. But we have not recovered the boy. In other babysnatching news, paramilitary teams have been sequestered to find those of you who have gone under ground with your infants. We will find and protect your babies.

Purple Puppy

We have received many complaints sparked by the alien abduction. You brought this on yourselves for abusing your babies; don't blame us. The footage received by the helmet cam has illuminated what appears to be the captors sampling Avery's DNA and testing him out for possible cross-breeding with moon-life and cloning. It appears they think he is a semi-good candidate. He is taking it well, and is being well fed. The dialectic coach in his A.I. has translated the alien speak and the boy is learning the new language. They are considering genetically modifying him and speeding up his hormonal aging process, because they are running out of oxygen for him, and they are eagerly wanting to mate him with one or many of their females. He is being held in a high-tech cage with many toys and video games. He does have a hottub and a cybernetic puppy recently developed by the aliens. He is starting to appreciate alien music. Many pictures are being taken of him, and he is being interviewed by their press, as a hero, since the aliens have been cloning for their race to survive and are in need of fresh DNA. They were recently awoken out of a homeo stasis by the work on the moon. They do know another more aggressive race from mars but there are no plans to sell him as a slave. The moon aliens would like to move to earth.

Purple Puppy

A chinese shuttle came too close to the moon, so the kids screamed, "You are flying to close to the moon. Get out of here, adults, or we'll blow you up!" We think it was sparked by the Avery abduction, which is on all lunar news. The girl scouts wrote the lines. It was good to hear from them, they're usually so quiet.
Avery's abductor's have intercepted the transmissions and are trying to compromise a way to keep Avery without an all out lunar War of the Worlds. They are offering space suits for the puppies and other technology, such as their homeo stasis cold storage, maps of uncharted worlds, many ancient secrets, and better cloning. But we will not trade Avery for cool technology. The aliens, or natives, are in control of the moon. Though the children attribute that designation to themselves. Both groups did come here from another planet, actually. The aliens came from a planet which imploded right after they left. When they went into homeo stasis the moon was turning uninhabitable due to war from other species. The lunarians were not masters of space travel, and their resources were running out. They devised a giant homing beacon, ingeniously a machine which sends out algorythmic frequencies designed to speed up evolution of consciousness, which explains the heightened I.Q.'s of the kids lately. They had given up, though with that device the other occupants of the moon went back to their own planets, namely Mars. The Martians later accidently made a tachyon monitor which explained their peacekeeping for the prior few thousand years and built a shield which protected them from the frequencies. They went back to their warring ways and cost themselves so much that had to go into homeostasis for the past few more thousands of years, until the Mars rover landed and woke them up. The evolution beacon, as we call it, also explains our accelerated evolution on earth. Intellects have side-stepped problems which would have impeded us for years. The lunarians, or green people, are thankful for our presence and considered the sight of moonwalkers outside the base a homage to them, and their only grabbing one as a symbol of their passivity, as desperate as they are. They are a little muddle minded. They are very persistent, which has us in a bind. The respect we must give them contradicts our requirement to get the boy back. The green people have mixed their DNA with all that of all the animals which used to live on the moon. The boy is watching movies of the golden age of their culture. The animals were emissaries from other planets, sent in pods many years ago, many of which they brought from their home world. Still, with all that, they are strained from all the cloning. We are not sure we want to mix out DNA with them, but they are an interesting species, and Avery is getting interested.

Purple Puppy

After doing research, we have found that Avery was adopted. Avery was born Avery Michael McDonald. This explains why he doesn't look like his parents. His biological parents, Rita Hazel and Romulus McDonald, put him up for adoption when he was 6 months old, as they couldn't take care of him. They were poor.
A puppy, which has been identified as Avery's puppy, has been stolen from the puppy domicile, and, which is more upsetting, we can't figure out how it happened, which leads us to believe there is a mole, an android baby, or that the aliens have heightened technology. The puppy was sent by Avery's birth mother, and is a Black Labrador, named Black, after Pearl Jam''s Black, Avery's favorite song. He likes to sit out and look at the stars. They both do, actually. There is no comment from Avery wether the puppy is at his location.
In other Pearl Jam and political news, a dove recently picked a ballot, flew off with it, voted for Eddie Vedder, who is running with Ralph Nader, and deposited it in the ballot box, in New York City.

Purple Puppy

Pearl Jam has written a song called Avery, in honor of Avery Raphael, who was abducted by aliens, on limited release from playboy.com and Starbucks.
Avery.
Please send me back to my Mom and Dad.
I promise I never meant to bad.
Which one of you is it anyway?
I'm so confused, I'm here to stay.
How could you, you're scrooged, me betray?
The porridge doesn't taste good without you, Daddy.
And I miss you telling me what the stars are, Mommy.
Please please please play for me.
I'm too sad to do it now.
Pry into my heart, whisper scream and shout.
I'm not without the feeling of falling a cliff.
But I know you'll hold me an uplift.
Because you really love me, don't you?
I didn't mean to touch you, I reproach my arms.
Know I'm someone who could do know harm.
I wish I could trade mine for your bad karma.
I hope you find your farm, Old McDonald.

Purple Puppy

An adult moon alien has stepped forward, arriving at the gates of Avery's dome, sacrificing himself as a trade for Avery. He was dressed very regally, and has said to be the leader of one of the political parties of green people. He is being interrogated, and has learned earth languages, but prefers to speak in his own tongue so we can learn it, as he says we are going to need it. The moon leader, Fred, as we are calling him, wants to cooperate in any way he can, but retains that Avery is vital to his people's survival. Avery has undergone genetic treatments allowing him to breathe terrestrial gases, as well as water. This has discolored the boy, turning him a pale lime. This infuriates many people, though the children won't let anyone harm the alien, who has brought medicine to cure a child with cancer, and is working on another's Down Syndrome. Avery has befriended a moon girl, and Fred hopes the relationship will flourish into mating and reproduction, insuring the survival of his race. Her name is Sara, has apple green skin, dark hair, is just under Avery's height and wants to be a biologist when she grows up. Any other questions can be directed at her through NASA.

Purple Puppy

Avery has withheld from the hormonal age progression treatments. He says he wants to wait until he's 9. So we have 6 months to get him back.
Many of the children want to take the genetic treatments to breathe cosmic gases that Avery has. So, President Vedder put it to a vote. For the first time, earth minors were asked to participate in a national vote. It is a sign of tremendous progress. Even some kids who were in hiding have turned up knowing they will be subject to deportation. Pres. Vedder also announced in a press conference today that he will be a passenger on the next shuttle to the moon, that he will stow himself in the cargo bay if he has to. He is going to find a means to end this terrible qualm, to visit his children, and more importantly, bring them back with him. He says that's the reason he was elected president, to reclaim his children. He says this set up of extraditing preabused babies to the moon gratifies Hitler. He says the moon is now a symbol of fascism. The automated baby shuttles, with their smiley faces at the nose, custom rainbow paint-jobs, and disco balls, are leaving full every day, so the president is going to have to boot one of the babes off the flight, much to some parents' pleasure. The president knows the risks in going to the child moon. But, he says, "I'm bringing candy; What could happen?" We hope they treat you well, Ed.

Purple Puppy

All around the moon children are saying, "I want to be green!" And it's been voted in. The robots have been programmed to give skin painting seminars, and many of the children have been quelled that way. But the children are learning persistence. It is actually very exciting to earth people. People feel that if the children can make friends with the aliens, maybe they will take control of their destinies, and come back to us, if they want to. However, the governments are agitated by the aliens, and are pressuring President Vedder to use force on the alien, even threats, to get him to reveal Avery's location. The suddenly incommunicable Vedder after his recent election has shut off all communication, and has no comment about his plans for Fred. We have also notified the president about what we are about to tell you, that our updated sensors have detected a device which acts as a counteragent to the evolution beacon. And its signals are getting stronger. We have pinpointed the source of the frequencies, on Mars, and are determining a joint course of action among the governments.

Purple Puppy

All oral medications will be made into gummy snacks. In moon, dome and shuttle shapes. Some children have dyed the wave pool green using all the reserves of green food coloring.
Eddie, upon meeting Fred, threw the alien a pack of Reese's pieces, instead of throwing him through a window, as everyone expected, and said, "Phone home."
The moment sank in for a minute, then Ed continued, "If you don't present the child, a ton of chaos is going to land", pointing to the alien, "on your green ass, and it won't be pretty." Good presidential speech; strong leader. Then, producing a non-leather baseball mitt, Ed said, "Al Gore said to give you this", and placed the glove on the alien's head. Sensing neurological disturbance, a robot removed the mitt from the alien's head, removing what appeared to be a hair-piece.
The alien replied, "Clever, human, but I'll readily inform you that there are green militia waiting, hoping, to use their ions on your species and.. pets", putting back on his hair-piece, "if you harm a hair on my head, which I won't say you've done based on your last gesture. But, I am an ambassador of peace and I would like to see this issue resolved."
The president spoke, "We cannot stand to see what you are planning on doing to the boy happen. According to our studies, your race is not that desperate, but more obsessed", then added, "These robots can easily be programmed to attack", and with that the mitt-bot grabbed Fred by the neck, in a preliminary headlock grip, and, just as soon as it had him, and his brainwaves registered the grasp, which didn't take long, since he was already embarrassed, it let him go, and patted him on the head. The alien listened to Ed say, "We don't want this trade, so go back home and make your community understand that we don't morally agree with your scientific tactics, and, while Avery was sent away from his parents, we want him to be under the care we have set out and prescribed for him. Now go."

Will Eddie return green? What's in store for Avery? Inquiring puppies want to know. Find out in the next installment of Purple Puppy's Safe World.

Purple Puppy

China and Canada are planning on building a spaceship shaped like a dragon, with escape pods shaped like fortune cookies, and a spaceship shaped like a moose, with escape pods shaped like Alanis Morissette's head, respectively. Any ideas from other countries can be submitted and we will produce a schematic.
President Ed and Fred started out having a nice talk about homeostasis, music, jetlag, politics, and then the subject turned darker, "So, how did you get into child abduction?" A smile ran away from Fred's face, "My fellow beings perpetrated that insensible act without my consent, I assure you. That's why I came here. I'm sorry his disappearance has alarmed you."
"I believe you", said Ed, "but a bunch of robots and I are going to need to go with you to the boy and bring him back. Even now, senates are passing laws initiating the programming of these robots toward warfare. And I don't want to see that happen. I am in the seat of leadership, for the moment. They listen to me, but that can change, and sooner than six months, I'm afraid."
Fred said, "How could you leave your children without protection?"
Ed screamed, "Now, you take me to that boy, and show me that evolution beacon, or there's going to be hell to pay!"
"Alright", said Fred. "If they don't hide him from me. But they can't go far. Ok, let's go."
Ed, realizing the aliens were devastated by war and almost became extinct, said, "I hope we can be friends after all this.", and gave him a sterilized baseball mitt. Fred gave him a soft look, with his purple eyes.
The journey to the center of the moon was harsh, but a drilling dunebuggy did most of the work. Accompanied by 5 or 6 robots, they took the same route Avery did. A bloodhound also partnered with them. When he smelled Avery, he made an inquisitive yowl, and Ed fed him a granola bar, no chocolate. When they finally arrived at a large cavern, Ed said, "Let me out. Is he here?"; he asked the dog the latter. There were living pods and crystals on the walls. Fred was talking to his wife on the phone, but had time to say, "He's in that big pod, there, in the aquarium", pointing, "you must understand that we saw your babies unprotected as a sign of a gift from you. We have been living science for so long that it just seemed.."
"Yada-yada", Ed said, and exited the vehicle.
The pod was an opening to another huge area much more elaborately decorated. Walking up to the aquarium, horrified, Ed saw a green boy with the name Avery knitted onto his bathing suit and a little girl with a bikini, who waved to Ed, then dove in. Avery turned around in the water, and screamed, "Eddie! They're going to clone me!"
Ed almost pounded on the glass, then just stared, and said, "You have to come with me." The boy was retrieved.
"I heard your song on the radio. My song. Can Sara come with us?", Avery asked; he hadn't stopped smiling.
Eddie nodded, "Where are her parents? We don't want to start this thing all over again. Can they turn you back?" Avery replied, "There's no turning back. The ages of the clones of her parents are 4 and 5, but she's 4,056 years old next thursday, isn't she old enough to go out on her own?"
Ed's quick retort was, "I wouldn't let my daughter go out like that, even if I was a toddler."
So Avery whispered to Sara, "Put some clothes on, Sara.", and then said, "Her aunt takes care of her, we can ask her. She lives in the next town.. cavern."
"Ya", Ed said.
A:"I can still breathe oxygenated air".
E:"That's good. They didn't do anything else to you, did they?"
A:"Not yet".
Sara:"Ok, I'm packed. Let's go." She was wearing a robe, and a robot was carrying her luggage in a steel crate.
E:"What's your aunt's name?", when they were safely in the dunebuggy.
S:"Sally Guberon Axtyleptovik."
E:"Mm-hm.", polishing his space helmet.
When they arrived at Sally Axtyleptovik's apartment, the Aunt said to Eddie, "There you are; I've been expecting you. Welcome to the lair of the evolution beacon. I designed it."
E:"I'm honored. I wish I could shake your hand without the space suit." In the back ground was a 400 foot metal cube, with something on top.
Sally:"I wish you could touch the beacon".
A:"Is that my dog?"
Black barked, and jumped off the beacon, but since there's no gravity, he floated. Sally said, "He's the first human, er.. earth man, well, earthling to touch the evolution beacon. We have been monitoring his wave patterns. He's making alot of progress, and doing things we don't understand, since he is a new species. Good dog. You'll see that..", the dog then landed on her head. "Ah!", she screamed. Recovering, noticeably embarrassed, she said, " You are all welcome to touch our beacon, of course. It recalls you, and delivers your psyche unto you, as it becomes you. It belongs to all universals."
"Fat", Avery said.
"We haven't built one on earth yet", Ed said.
"Well, you're partially right. There hasn't been one on earth since Stonehenge was excavated. But you, and your contemporaries, haven't built one", Sally said.
Avery had taken his sticky-shoes, a replacement for a weighted space suit, off and had jumped up to the beacon.
"Careful", Ed said.
"It had a larger effect on the dog", Sally said, a few seconds after
Avery landed on the beacon. Avery did seem amused though.
"We have to go.", Ed said. "I might have to come back and do some evolution myself."
"Though I do want to go back with you. I think something is going to happen.", Fred said.

Will Fred make up with his wife? Will Avery be accepted by his four parents and forefathers? What will we see about Black? Tune in next time, and send your suggestions to Purple Puppy.

Purple Puppy

Robots have been programmed to say "WALL-E" more. The thing about robots is that they have no predisposition to say, "I'll tell you when you're older", so children learn everything they want to on the moon. Brain scans in the helmets anticipate questions, so the children learn what seems intuitively. The official spaceship of America is in the shape of an american bald eagle, with escape pods shaped like baseballs. American and national teams may sponsor the escape pods. No college teams, sorry.

Avery wants to change his name to Giacomo
In a communication with Avery's mother:
Mother: Did they do anything else to you?
Avery: No, but I've seen green porn! And when the planets are aligned I glow.

"What we haven't understood was related to your treatment of dogs. They would have been more communicable if you hadn't said the mean thing of "play dead". They don't mind fetch though", said Sally.
Sally also said, "It appears there is a conspiracy on earth. The names of anti-schizophrenic drugs on your planet are the names of frequencies coming from the counter-evolution beacon on Mars. It's possible that some of them were intuited, but to have so many.. We suspect German fascism."

SETI has picked up a communication from Pluto, a peaceful message saying they received the signal from a young Labrodor, detailing their landing on the Moon. They can be there as early as next week, and just need the clearance. Children are voting wether they want to share the space with them. A scanning voting terminal is being made for the dogs, incorporating evolution beacon technology. SETI has also received a message from Mars. It's a desperate distress signal. The report is that their A.I. has overridden the controls, and the robots are using the counterevolution beacon as a weapon against themselves. Some of them have gone crazy. Their brains are totally fried, and their dogs are tired. We are asking them to change the battery on the Mars rover so we can see for ourselves.
Fred says the children who have what's known as terminal diseases can be contacted by the evolution beacon and it will have a bolstering psychological impact for all affected. They are born that way for the spiritual benefit of all species.