I think it would be funny if Pearl Jam did a song that went like this:

Purple Puppy

You hear too much.
You know too much about our operation.
We're going to have to get rid of you.
Rub you out.
So expect it this week.
And don't leave town.

Purple Puppy

So, now you're mulch.
You gave Salieri the assassin constipation.
He ate part of you.
It was your snout.
We had to plug it before the leak.
You were dipping into our account.

Now, lady, don't you sulk.
It was a difficult situation.
And we reimbursed you.
Without a doubt.
You'll find another man that you seek.
And we won't kill him with our sound.

Purple Puppy

You're expendable.
We can get to you.
Ah, you sweet tooth.
We know all your haunts.
Bad places, your hiding places.
Duplicitous your face is.
We'll leave no traces.

You were our friend.
But all things must come to an end.
We shared our woes, put backs on your clothes.
But fate is dark as night; you'll have to see the light.
We'll let you kiss your wife goodnight.
We know the way to do things right.

Purple Puppy

We found your report.
We'll read it aloud.
"Their spies are short.
Their albinos crowd.
I'm scared for my life.*sob*
But I'll take it like a man.
I'm stealing from the mob.
Ain't life grand?"

We're not pleased.
We feel betrayed.
Our hearts are empty, thank God;
Your bullet just grazed.
We know you're a pacifist.
But you deserve the fist.

We'll get all your friends, too.
We're making a list.
Your pets aren't safe.
We need something to do.
Your mistress, that waif.
She'll be blue.

Like a bluesman.
Singing your lament.
Just as we're pouring you with the cement.
In the spotlight.
On the corner.
I'll try to cry; you need another mourner.

Purple Puppy

You have an electric touch.
You're the voice of our generation.
We really like to chew on you.
Never going to spit you out.
We like to hear when you speak.
You put us on solid ground.